Worried about easy child

[happymomof2]

My daughter has never given me trouble - well almost never. She is 12 and has always been my drama queen. My nickname for her is my angel with an attitude.

She had to switch schools going into 4th grade and didn't do so well grade wise that year but did pass. Last year she did great. This year 6th grade and the first 9 weeks were fine, second not so great and steadily going down hill.

She doesn't seem to be quite as mature as some of the other girls. Which partly I am thankful for because lord knows they all grow up to quick these days. She was a month premature and was wondering if that could have anything to do with her maturity level. Also she has never hung around older girls - it's been either girls her age or younger.

Signed her weekly grade report yesterday and requested a conference. She says it's hard. I know when her and I study for a test, the ones she actually brings home something to study with, she passes with flying colors. Most of the time A's. Guess it's the same story I had when I was in school about not applying myself. I was basically a C student. If I had worked even a tad bit harder I could have had all A's and B's.

I don't want to see her fail 6th grade, that would be a devastating blow to her self esteem but I can't seem to get her to understand that. Lord only knows what she is going to do on the FCAT. That horrible once a year test that is pass or fail.

Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated also if any of you have had any of these problems with a child that was pre-mature please let me know.

Thanks

 

[BusynMember]

Is he actually flunking school or just getting C's? Any drastic changes in behavior? Changes in friends?

 

[gcvmom]

It's also possible easy child has a milder form of ADHD (I'm basing some of this on your signature). It's usually expressed differently in girls. By now, the issues of her premature birth should have all resolved. To my thinking, her interest in younger kids may have more to do with her feeling more comfortable because the social cues become more complex the older they get, and she may be having a hard time "reading" her peers. She may be having a hard time focusing on her school work and staying organized (which becomes more challenging as they get older -- by the way, is she still in elementary or is this a middle school environment?) as well, which could explain why she does fine if you're there to keep her organized and on task for the studying. Some of these kids do great in the early grades because they are bright and they don't need to have the organizational/executive functioning skills to be as well developed as they do in later grade levels.

It doesn't necessarily mean she needs to be medicated, either. If you're able to give her the additional support at home or with a tutor, she may be able to progress just fine. I'm not a doctor, so this is all just my speculation. Bring it up with her pediatrician (or whomever is treating your son) and hear what their take is on it.

 

[Jena]

from my own experience my older one dipped down as well in this grade. do not know if this holds true for anyone else here yet i found that. she's also either hormonal now or pre-hormonal i like to call it. which as we all know it totally begins to change. my entire way of parenting had to change when my 15 year old changed. i had to change with her so we'd be ok. it's still a struggle.

anyway i'd do same friends, etc. make sure it's all good.

good luck

Jen

 

[Lostparent]

My daughter is 13 and in the 7th grade.She also did this in the begining of the year.We just got her back on track.She wants to go storm chasing so we used that as a bribe.Find something she wants and exlpaine that she will need to act mature and responible before she will be allowed to do or have it.My daughter must keep her grades up for the year.There are other small rewards for the quater grades.Just an idea that work for us.Good luck!

 

[happymomof2]

Thanks all and she is still in elementary school. Her b-day is in Oct. so she missed the cut off date to go to first grade. I don't medicate son and definitely don't think she needs medications. The only trait that is any where near my sons deal is maybe focusing.

There has been no change in friends, behavior yes - to me tho it's typical pre-hormonal (like that word it fits) behavior. Maybe she is getting a little scared about moving into Jr. High??

We have no health insurance so actually I don't have a doctor for my son. He is in Special Education classes and is seen once a week by a counselor through the school.

Last time I talked with her reading teacher by phone she told me that my easy child would do things like draw while she was suppose to be listening. One day she told her to put her paper away and she slipped it in her lap and continued to draw anyway.

Waiting on a call from the school today to set up conference with all 3 teachers she has. Will ask about tutoring, but I really don't think she needs tutoring for her work - do they offer tutoring for organization and focusing? lol