Worried about GAL

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by klmno, May 29, 2008.

  1. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    She still hasn't returned my call- this is definitely not a good sign coming from her. So, does anyone have any suggestions about how to explain to her that holes in our walls are a result of difficult child rages, which happen when medications aren't right, which is partly why I had made all those phone calls to psychiatrist. And, that there are going to be times when he is symptommatic even if on medications and in therapy. And, if he hadn't been symptommatic, he wouldn't have been in the psychiatric hospital last month. And, that just because tdocs can't/won't comply with the treatment plan doesn't mean we failed or that treatment plan changes- especially if I have lined up another therapist who does seem MUCH more experienced in dealing with these issues and what he is telling me is on track with the treatment plan. Now, how do you explain all that to someone who seems to already have their mind made up that they know everything and is going to flip when they see these signs next week and then spiral further out into the world of rash decisions? Last year, she got social services involved because my insurance company wouldn't pay for difficult child to go to a 2-4 week inpatient evaluation at a psychiatric hospital- which is what I ASKED for. I can't imagine how she is going to react to this. She is already reacting rashly because I ASKED if we could change psychiatrists/tdocs. She has never even called to answer that question.

    I would ask difficult child's defense attorney about this, but he hasn't called back either.

  2. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Well, maybe you need to play communication hardball and only converse via certified letters from now on! That seems pretty ridiculous.
  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Communicating in writing is a thought. I know she has always rec'd my faxes- I'll type an "update" up this weekend and can let her know ahead of time about the signs of raging left in the house. I've already faxed her 15 pages of info about BiPolar (BP). Maybe that is what she is flipping out about- maybe she thought BiPolar (BP) was just getting cranky sometimes- HA! Anyway, I'll give copies to defense attorney and he can tell judge that she rec'd this stuff and never responded.
  4. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Have you done a parent report yet? If not, I'd send her, the judge, the prosecutor, and your attorney one (okay, I tend to overdo, but... I'd definitely talk to your atty about sending one to judge and if atty doesn't return calls, tell him/her you're sending one on Xday if you don't hear otherwise from him/her). If you've already done one, then I think an update is a good idea.

    Another thought would be to have difficult child call her (maybe?). She's supposed to be *his* GAL, right? If she won't return *his* phone calls, I'd ask for a more responsive/responsible GAL from the judge.

    Not that I have any experience with this stuff, but... just my thoughts.
  5. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    You know, slsh, I just noticed the other day a sample parent report on this board. Oddly enough- not a single person here (where I live) has mentioned it to me- if it wasn't for this board, I wouldn't even know that they existed. That was what I thought was so wierd last year- I didn't break the law and was proven to be a fit parent, yet the GAL and PO keep acting like I am a parent who has custody hanging on a thread if I don't do exaactly what they say. I don't think it is sending a good message to difficult child- not to mention- the energy should really be spent on getting him the help he needs. I thought the judge was on board after I testified to her in Jan.- but then I thought the GAL was too. Actually, the GAL went in there that time telling the judge that I was a good mother. Really, I guess it is the old pattern of just looking for someone to blame- and they assume it must be either my fault or difficult child is just a bad seed. Well, I think it is no one's fault- not that he couldn't make a little more effort and needs to get back on track at times- but it isn't his fault that he is BiPolar (BP).

    Anyway- thanks for the repsonse- it is a very good idea. I'm going to look at that report again. I re-read the stuff I faxed her a week or so ago and I really don't see anything in it absurd- other than of course, there was the list of BiPolar (BP) symptoms in black and white in front of her. Well, shoot, if the sd has adapted, she can too. Let's just hope the judge is already educated on this.
  6. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I wish I still had Corys parent report but I lost it in a computer crash. It was a thing of beauty I tell you...lol. It got passed around like candy everywhere we went.

    "Hello, Im Janet, meet my son Cory..." Passed out half inch thick files complete with pictures and medical histories.

    It got attention.
  7. Christy

    Christy New Member

    It is so frustrating when people do not call you back! People just do not understand the constant state of crisis that we live in, nor do they get that medicine is not a fix all or even an exact science but trial and error.

    Hope you get a call back tomorrow since then it will be the weekend and no one is ever available on the weekend.

    Good Luck,
  8. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Thanks, Christy!

    Janet- any "big" points you think I should point out in this report to them?
  9. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    I'd definitely do a parent report. It was a big factor in getting new pros on board quickly with us.

    Janet - I'm sure the school district still has a Cory-report on file, you could get a copy :)
  10. slsh

    slsh member since 1999


    That's the link to the parent report. I think one of the best sections is "interventions - past and present". It's where you can really detail everything you've tried and what has worked and what hasn't. I also like the "aspirations" section.

    It's not something you can or should write in one sitting. I probably took about 2 weeks to write thank you's, back in 2000, and ended up with 16 pages. It's a chance to put down the whole kit and kaboodle in your words and you don't have to worry about fact checking for accuracy because you *know* what's been going on. You will be able to give a very clear picture of difficult child, his strengths, weaknesses, abilities, and challenges, as well as what you think, having tried so many interventions, is the direction his treatment/education should be heading and how to get there.
  11. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Thank you! I did write up about 12 pages of info last year- I can use this to put it in a better format. Also, in General archives there is a link to a written parent's statement. I can tweak that a little and kind of put them together into one document. They really already have all this info, but it will be good to remind them by referencing previous psychiatrists letters, tetstimony, etc. It seems like this could be useful if there is ever an appeal- although that is unlikely.

    I can't get past the thought right now that if I had found this board before mid-March last year, I don' t think the "crime spree" would have happened at all. I think if I had posted that difficult child just rec'd a long term suspension because he got out of control at school even though his prozac had just been doubled, people here would have told me THAT DAY what was probably going on. I could have taken action then instead of keeping on until 3 days later, difficult child did all this in less than 2 hours.
  12. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Ok, I am trying really hard to get myself started on writing tonight so I can clean house and do domestic chores this weekend. My boss suggested covering up holes in walls with posters in difficult child's bedroom and our extra room that I call the guys' game room. I thought that was a good idea.

    My problem tonight is that I feel like clamming up and not telling anything more to the PO or GAL. I can't help it- they are too much like my family in making rash decisions. If my question about approval to cahnge therapist and/or psychiatrist lead her to call them all and make statements like "so the treatment plan is changing- can you tell me about this" after the way she jumped to conclusions and almost had difficult child taken away last year, I can't imagine ever telling her anything again. First of all, I feel like I would be "forcing" the information on her. It really makes me cringe. I don't think people like that should have any say-so in making decisions for kids, much less in determining the future of our difficult child's. If she can't handle that, she couldn't handle raising one, and if she couldn't handle raising one, then how can she know enough or understand enough to make a recommendation on what is in their best interests? And aren't GAL's supposed to be non-biased?

    If the &*%$#* defense attorny would call back, I could find out if he can put me on the stand to testify at difficult child's hearings. I don't know if I can or not.