Worried about my son's anxiety disorder

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by seaturtle, Nov 7, 2016.

  1. seaturtle

    seaturtle New Member

    I am new to the forum. I am a father to a 12 year old son. He has anxiety disorder and I am worried about him.
    After having an embarrassing incident in the elementary school he hesitates to go to school or go out to public places. He is currently home schooled. He has his own way of life. No friends, and no hang outs, he is secluded mostly in his room. He is growing up and it's time to shape his personality. He needs to know to take care of himself. I think we should get him proper therapy to overcome his fears.
    And my friend's were telling me about Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) can help cure the social anxiety disorder. But, I have heard it is for bipolar or depression. I haven't felt he is depressed. he does his chores and keeps his room neat and clean, listens to music and reads fiction and nonfiction. Could this therapy help him overcome his fears?
    Please share your thoughts. Any suggestions to help my son are appreciated.

    Thank you.
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I would first off have him evaluated by a Neuro psychologist (this is NOT A neurologist in any way. It is a psychologist with special training in the brain). Good ones do amazing diagnostics. My son was tested for ten hours then diagnosed as being on the high end of the autism spectrum. With the right interventions, he is doing great and on his own at age 23. Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids like to do things alone and all suffer from anxiety.
    Often they can seem addicted to a certain television show or computers/video games, just obsessed with a topic. They may have started talking late and may not hold good conversations now and dont explain emotions.
    More like yes and no or I don't know. They can be quirky.

    Any type of talk therapy doesn't help autosm. YouYou need interventions of another type. It is a neurological difference, not a mental health issue. Not saying you kid is on the spectrum. I don't know. You don't know.

    That's why it's good to know what you are dealing with rather than guessing. You want him to get the right treatment and you are not a professional. You can't diagnose your son. Even doctors do not like to diagnose their own kids. A parent is too emotionally involved.

    Schools are very poor at diagnosing and often don't have the best psychologists. I would do private testing with a (best case scenario) a Neuro Psychologist who has a good reputation. Don't wait. They are good so they do have waiting lists. The wait is usually worth it.

    Lots of luck for you and your son.
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2016
  3. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet


    Welcome. I think it's great that you have a diagnosis at such a young age. Our son was undiagnosed and turned to marijuana at 15 which then turned into harder drugs. We have been through HELL for over five years trying to help him to turn it around.

    If I had known he had anxiety at 12 I would have gotten him into therapy IMMEDIATELY. They need to talk to someone. We, as parents, aren't equipped to handle all of these things that sometimes get thrown at us. I used to feel guilty because I didn't have ALL the answers and now I realize how crazy and unhelpful that way of thinking really is.

    I also think the testing that SWOT recommends is useful. I did not know about this testing.

    Good luck and keep us posted on how he is doing! He is very lucky to have such a caring parent.
  4. Praecepta

    Praecepta Active Member

    It sounds like a decision was made to home school him without consulting a psychologist?

    That is the polar opposite of the way I would have handled this situation - I believe that if you fall off a horse, you should get right back on. I feel you should face your fears.

    Anyway the time for that "back on the horse" thing has passed. At this point I would recommend you get professional advice before doing anything to get him back out in public. Just to be on the safe side.

    A primary care physician (kid's regular doctor) can refer you to a psychologist for this situation. I would ask about slowly reintroducing him to public settings and people. For example don't suddenly take him to a party and a room full of other kids. Rather simply drive by and look at some other kids, then go home - that would be enough for a day. Maybe do that for a week, then the next week drive by two times in a day. You slowly work yourself up to being able to face the fear.

    BUT BE CAREFUL to first ask the advice of a professional mental health worker before doing anything like this.
  5. Crayola13

    Crayola13 Active Member

    I think dialectical behavioral therapy is great for anxiety. The traditional cognitive behavioral therapy isn't as helpful.