Worried Aunt!!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by AuntieDestiny, Oct 23, 2008.

  1. AuntieDestiny

    AuntieDestiny New Member

    Hi Im a mom two two boys that thank goodness with my family history have turned out pretty good. But my sister has three kids that are just giving her hell! I wish I could help but I feel like my hands are tied sometimes. So I was hoping that if there were other moms out there going through what my sister is going through maybe I can lend her a more understanding helping hand.

    So she has a 7year old boy who is the middle child that is just a mess. He is on so much medication for mood disorders, ADHD, anti-psychotic medication for controling his impulses that he dosen't know wether he is coming or going sometimes. They had to put him back in first grade a few weeks ago. And today they doubled his medications.

    Im frustrated because nobody is talking to him about these problems everyone talks around him. His therapist and psychologist dont even talk to him they talk to his mom. He dosent do well in groups he gets pretty violent and upset.

    Its seems all they do is throw more medications at him without trying to solve problems. They say its not neurological but psychological. I want to help but I dont know how. Is there a way to help kids like this?

    He does great with me I can talk him down when hes upset and he listens to do activities. He can sit still with me and solve problems. But I have two boys and hopefully one on the way. I feel an obligation to him but also to my growing family.

    Its long Im sorry thanks for any advice in advance. ;)
  2. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Welcome Auntie! You're in a bit of a tough position.

    Simple enough question though - what's his diagnosis? With the amount of medications he's on it seems like there's a lot going on here. Do you know what he's taking and how much?

    Has he had a neuropsychologist evaluation? They're really great diagnostic help, and once you can zero in on a potential diagnosis, it can help figure the best way to deal with them.

    I'm a mom to 3 difficult children and I KNOW that she's got to be stressing out!

    Welcome to the group!

  3. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Adding in my welcome Auntie!

    I too recommend a neuropsychologist evaluation if he hasn't had one yet. I remember my difficult child at that age. We had one psychiatrist (psychiatrist) that liked to throw medications at him and never talked with him. We switched psychiatrists and have a great one now.

    That being said, when my difficult child was that young he was very unstable much of the time and difficult to talk with, however, they sure observed him in action. He wasn't really available for therapy for a long time.
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hey, Auntie.
    Well, you're a great aunt, with a good heart, and you probably see things that you don't like, but I'm not sure what you can do if the parents aren't on board. Frankly, if that child was my son, rather than overmedicating him, I'd have him tested by a neuropsychologist (I've never seen much real help come from regular therapists...they can't diagnose either). If he can't socialize well and freaks out in groups he could have high functioning autism, but you won't find out without the intensive evaluations. medications alone certainly won't help any sort of spectrum problem. Frankly medications alone are a solution to NO problem. In fact, too much medication can cause a lot of cognitive dulling and adversely affect IQ. Some kids need medication in spite of all that, but it's hard to say if he hasn't been thoroughly evaluated. And my personal opinion is--no more than two medications. Not for me (I have bipolar) and not for my kids (none are on medications at all). You don't even know what is really wrong. And as the aunt, you really have no say. I don't know what sort of relationship you have with the parents, but...there isn't anything you can do if they don't want to listen. I also think NeuroPsychs are the best evaluators. I would try to talk sis into having him see one. Throwing medications at an unnamed problem isn't good.
    Kudos for caring!