Worried Sick and don't know what to do...

B

Broken_Hearted

New Member
Hi there everyone - I just wanted to give and update - I am sitting in MUSC ( South Carolina Medical University Hospital ) right now as I type this. I went to Charleston county mental health crisis and got pink papers on him. Last night he snuck out of my granmothers house and got beat up by people who are involved in the court case. He is mad and angry at the people who lied on their statments about him - and he is on a revenge path. The older teens ( 19 and 20 ) are bragging about it - and I called my son this morning - and told him he needed to let it go not put himself in dangerous situations. He said "nahhhhh I'm going to get them - that he didn't care if he got hurt - or went back to jail - no insight whatsover -
Also I talked to him about the outpatient thing a day ago - and he says he won't even do that - that this his "lifestyle"

He's in the ER and I don't dare go back there - because I know he will go ballastic on me... but Ias I am waiting here I am hoping and praying that his "my mom is "schizophrenic /crazy" doesn't work again. I brought the printouts from the facebook threats - and if someone gets hurt -or he hurts himself ( which he is on a mission to do) I will be floored if they don't admit him.

Wish me luck everyone.
 
B

Broken_Hearted

New Member
Oh my gosh - well this is unbelievable - I was sitting here in the ER - in order to talk to the psychiatric doctors - and a nurse comes out to me along with two security guards telling me I had to leave - they were very abrupt and once again were looking at me as if I was crazy. I said that the Charleston Mental Health people told me to come here - to talk with the psychiatric doctors - and could I speak to the doctors. I was told a flat out no -the nurse told me no. When I tried to speak - she told me I could not speak out in the ER room because it was public - and that what I was saying was confidential information.....then I asked if I could speak to her in private - and she said "No" she continued to say that he is an adult 17 - and that I had to leave the building!!! I was in shock. I then talked to the security guard - and explained to him I wanted to give out the facebook print outs of the fights - and the continued threats of violence today - at first he was hesitant - I was very calm and told him how worried I was about all of this - then he accepted the paper work ( thank god) and gave it to them. He just came out a few minutes later and was very nice and apologetic but said he was just doing what the police /psychiatric doctors had told him - to get me out of here.
It's unbelievable - I mean - 17 years old - escaped from Palmetto in suicide watch - in the ER 3 times overdosing - what on earth does it take for a parent to get her son help? And I am just in shock - they came at me in the beginning as if I were crazy or a criminal - telling me to leave the building right now. OMG....
 
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B

Broken_Hearted

New Member
I just got back from the Hospital - it took me two hours - I had to walk because my mom was expecting me to there for a few hours I called her - told her what happened and I felt so bad because the poor thing was exhausted from driving me around evey where - and she was half asleep - so I ended just walking - halfway home in downtown Charleston I got lost - and a man gave me a bus card - the bus driver and I got to talking and he told me about a family member of his who is a teen in rehab- and I'd like to share what he said to me later on but first I just need to vent - because I am so perplexed and confused.

They discharged him - and won't tell me where even though I am the legal guardian. I am in a state of total shock.

It was totally bizarre - today I went to Charleston County Crisis Center to do pink papers for him. He has the court date on the 11 of July and after reading the face book pages and seeing that he got beat up last night - and was planning on putting himself in harms way again - I felt it was urgent and he might not make it until the probate court commitment hearing. They agreed help me to fill out the paper work - and then hey told me I would need to go to the ER.

So I did after the theraputic unit picked him up. As soon as my mom dropped me off - and I went to the nurse and asked for him. I waited for five minutes and the two security guards and nurse came up to me as if - I don't know how to explain it - they treated me like a criminal or somthing - it was bizarre ....and told me I needed to leave the premises. In the paper work I did at Mobile Crisis I put down my cell phone number as a contact number. I had my cell phone on me the whole time - nobody called.

When I got home my mom was very upset and told me the ER psychiatric doctor had called asking to speak to me. She told him that I wasn't here and that I was on my way home - she told him that the security at hospital had told me to leave just 20 minutes before. If the security guards had let me stay - I would have been able to talk to the psychiatric doctor. Instead I was walking in the middle of downtown Charleston -and even though I had my cell phone on me - I got no phone call. Anyways the psychiatric doctor asked my mom "What should I do with him". My mom answered that he needed to be evaluated and locked up because he was danger or himself and others and he was probably going to hurt or killed.

The psychiatric doctor told my mom - he could not help with that - that was an issue for the police to handle.

What I find incredulous -is that on the discharge papers from before - it said to return him to the hospital if he got suicidal or homocidal which he is!!! Plus he's coming down from the cocaine and was drunk when I spoke to him on the phone today

My mom who was a court reporter in family court most of her life told the psychiatric doctor that the police will not do anything until he gets hurt or someone else does - which is so true.

The psychiatric doctor told her there was nothing they could do for him.
My mom told him that all I was getting was a runaround, that I had the probate court hearing set up, and was doing exactly what I being told to do.

My mom told me she was very upset - and did something that was totally out of character for her.

She said something like "Let's quit pretending everyone want to help - when's it obvious nobody gives a damn if he lives or if he dies"

When I got home - I was shocked that they didn't call my cell phone . The psychiatric doctor told her he didn't have it - and my mom knew that I had put it on the paper work at the crisis center.

Also what got me the most is that I when they asked me to leave - and I told them I was instructed to come here - the nurse and security guards told me he was in" police custody. " And that I was not needed at the ER.
What does that mean???
So I asked her , and I said well last time he was in "police custody" and I stayed here with no problem until the outcome - I said what is different this time? Instead of getting an answer I was told to leave and that he was in "police custody".

So confusing! I'm at a total loss for words...
 
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A

AmericanGirl

Guest
Is there anywhere that can help you navigate this legal mess? I'm wondering if child welfare could help. Maybe even a policeman could help you know your rights.

Wish I knew what to say....I'm so very sorry.
 
N

Nancy

Well-Known Member
BrokenHearted

I deleted the facebook posts from your post. They were disturbing and the URL's were included. When I clicked on the URL I was able to see pictures of what I assume were fb users that you say posted to your son. For privacy and security I felt it best to delete those links.

Nancy
 
B

Broken_Hearted

New Member
These two kids testified against my son - and they are also druggies - they had a friend in Sullivan's Island who also overdosed and died just two weeks ago.
On Wednesday I also received a unexpected email from on of these kids - he wrote to my personal fb account out of the blue -
He wrote this to me:
you need to do something about ( my son) before myself or one of my friends do. we are all tired of him talking **** to us and especially to s((((. she dosnt deserve any of the things he says to her. hes going to get hurt really bad if he dosnt stop. we are all fed up with it. its getting really old really fast

I responded

    • hat happened now?
    • It appears he just talks - all of you should just block him from FB and ignore his antics....
      i know it's frustrating - he's a little bit out of it and I'm trying to get him him some help -
  • my best advice is block him - tell everyone he is bothering to block him on Facebook as well
  • There's no sense to lowering yourself to his level and doing anything - everyone should just rise above it -I will be doing as much as I can to where he changes and won't be bothering people - he's angry and upset - and doesn't know how to vent .He's been treating me with the same violent words /yelling.

    To which he responded -
    • Hes more than just a little bit out of it. Hes insane. Honestly you should get him out of charleston
    • Its hard to block him when hes harrasing me from random phone numbers telling me hes going to stab me
    • Someone is going to hurt him. He can only hide behind **** and ***** for so long before myself or one of my friends find him. Theres kids that want to do way worse to him than i do


      Not only that today a twenty year old whose brother is in jail edited and pasted a letter written from his brother in jail - this man is in jail for the theft of 50 thousand dollars -he writes to his brother that the police are upset with him for having tried to frame my son - and that something needs to be done about my son....

      This is just so terrifying.... and my son doesn't care about getting hurt - that mixed with the drugs and alcohol - and air dusting - I mean he 17 and tested positive for cocaine and heroin at this very same hosptial just a week ago. And this hospital is supposed to be the best for treating teens with psychiatric and addiction problems. I am stunned - I gave the doctors this info- I had it printed out ..
 
B

Broken_Hearted

New Member
Alabama girl - I am clueless as what to do. I will just have to wait until the court hearing. I just hope he doesn't run away,od, or get hurt or hurt someone else before then. The bus driver was telling me exactly what I have heard from the parents here. That he needs the intervention to save his life. He told me that the drugs were like the devil. He told me to go before the judge and ask him tell the judge that I am trying to save his life. And ask the judge to place him in mandatory court ordered rehab. He told me he did the same with his family member - and that apart from the three months - they placed his relative in another longer term rehab where he could get his GED. The bus driver told me that they need at a minimumn six months off of the drugs - I was in such a good mood - the same feeling after talking to other members here who have gone through this. The bus driver has common sense - everyone here does - my family does - yet the psychiatric doctors even with all the evidence don't have this common sense?
My last hope will be before the judge on the 11th. The mobile crisis unit intake lady told me the same as a poster here. It would be better to have him hate me in rehab - than have him be happy in the grave.....

Dear lord - I never thought finding help for someone with such evidence and proof would be so difficult. The lady at the intake place was very concerned - as she was the one who first took him to Palmetto Behavioral health after he threatened to commit suicide because he didn't want to go to jail for something he didn't do. She even wrote that he had a history of self harm on his paper work today as she saw all the cigar burn marks....Oh my ....
 
B

Broken_Hearted

New Member
Alabama girl that might be a good option child welfare - I never thought of going that route - it would seem if they were involved perhaps the doctors would feel more obliged to treat this case seriously and get him the help he needs.
 
A

AmericanGirl

Guest
My guess is your son refused to sign a release so you could be told anything.

You might see if you can find a local person with Al-anon. They may have ideas.
 
B

Broken_Hearted

New Member
I will do that - I will also try to PM the poster here from my area - I also think I will gather as much evidence proof as I can when I go in front of the judge and perhaps hire a lawyer. It hasn't been just this time - everytime he is brought to the er when he's been found passed out on the beach I am not able to get any info - it's just so strange - even my mom thinks so....and I'd like to know if he tested positive for drugs again today -
<3 <3 Thanks for responding .... and your advice ...I kinda felt like this smiley here when I got back today .....:panicsmiley:

I know all these posts were a bit overwhelming - but I'm in shock mode - and needed to talk to people who would understand. On a positive note - I am not giving up hope - he deserves at least on time in rehab with therapy - as a human he deserves to get help - if after the help he falls back into it well I won't feel as bad/responsible - but given the fact that he's never had a therapist or rehab - it's tearing me up inside...
 
buddy

buddy

New Member
Hello, I do not share this exact parenting journey but wanted to say I am listening and sending you support. My son is 15 and even with his obvious disabilities I'm told I need to get medical guardianship because here at age 16 he can refuse medical mental health treatment. None of it makes sense and your story is a dramatic example of what is wrong with the mental health system. I wish I could help. It is truly sad and so all I can think is to say do all you can to stay healthy and strong. I understand it is hard (oh do I understand ), but please take time for yourself. Post here. Vent. Read fiction, walk, do little things to take time for you. Don't miss meals or sleep! **hugs**
 
JJJ

JJJ

Active Member
At 17, he is NOT an adult.

In South Carolina, a "child" is defined as an individual under the age of eighteen. S.C. Code Ann. § 20-7-30(1).
A physician must look to the parents or guardian for consent before treating a minor. The mother and father are "joint natural guardians" of their minor child or children and share an equal responsibility for the welfare of the child or children. S.C. Code Ann. § 20-7-100.


STOP bailing him out. Let him sit in jail. Some time to sober up before trial may be the best gift you can give him.
 
T

toughlovin

Guest
BH - keep us posting... I know I am following your story... even if I come back to a bunch of posts that is ok!! I would also print out the stuff from the other kids to show the judge. And I think in this case getting a lawyer is a good idea.... see what your options are. And have there been behavioral or mental health issues before the drugs? I am kind of guessing there are (and you may have said and I may just not remember) in which case you want to find him help that includes both substance abuse help and mental health help.

I so feel for you. It is such a scary place to be as a parent. It is so hard too at this age to hear other parents worrying about things like what college their kid is going to go to... and you are worrying if he will even survive.

Hugs to you,

TL
 

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