Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by elizabrary, May 16, 2011.

  1. elizabrary

    elizabrary Member

    I'm sick with worry about Kat and KK. They were staying at her friend's apartment, but her friend moved into a new house, so I'm not sure where they are. The apartment is still rented to her friend until the end of the month, so I'm worried that they may be staying in this empty apartment with no money, no food, and no transportation. I tried calling her last night, but she didn't answer her phone. She hasn't posted on FB which has me more worried because while her friend was there she was using her laptop and posted frequently. I know there's really nothing I can do, but I just have this feeling of dread hanging over me. It's bad enough when it's just Kat, but now with the baby involved it makes me literally physically ill. I'm at work but I can barely concentrate or get anything done because I am so consumed with worry right now. Just needed to vent because nobody here really gets what I'm going through. She has no job, her stuff is still at IG's and her car is broken down. How much worse can it get?
  2. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    Eliz, I am so sorry you are going through this. I know exactly the feeling of dread you describe. I have been through that too and is awful and totally distracts you from everything else. I am not sure I have any advice but I do have mom commiseration.Do you have the friends phone number and could you call them to just check in and make sure both Kat and KK are ok? Otherwise it is a waiting game... and sometimes no news is good news.
  3. elizabrary

    elizabrary Member

    Turns out I'm right to be worried. I spoke to her dad who had dinner with-her last week. She told him she was moving back with-IG (who dumped her) in a strange town to "try and work things out." So she's been lying to me this whole time and that's apparently where she is. I sent her a message telling her she needed leave KK with-me if she cannot get her life in order. This is driving me insane. I can't wait to go home and run the dogs for an hour or so to get this negative energy out of my system.
  4. ski10

    ski10 New Member

    I'm sorry, I know how worrying it is and you just can't think of anything else, your mind is all over the place.

    And, oh yes, the lying, my daughter tells me what she thinks I want to hear and I KNOW she is lying the whole time. I also run my dogs and it does get energy out, sorry you are going through this.

    On a lighter note, your pup in your avatar is gorgeous and are those it's real teeth? makes me smile everytime.

    "Real teeth" what the heck am I talking about, I mean are those it's teeth I can see:)
  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I think you are going to have to do a LOT of work on detachment because otherwise you will be unable to function enough to keep your job and/or handle your own life. I hope you know that regardless of what happens to the baby, your daughter can NOT safely move back in with you. It will destroy your health.

    WHile she is moving around like this is the time to contact CPS about the baby. They will check on her and the baby and take the child away if it is not safe, there is drug use of any kind, etc.... Given that you say she is a sociopath, this is the absolute kindest thing you can do for the child. After the child is removed you can probably get custody fairly easily - they will want her to go to a relative so they do not have to find a placement. They will likely help you financially also.

    You know your difficult child is NOT providing what a child needs and CPS is the way to make things right for the child. NOT you getting her into an apt or your home or whatever.

    PLEASE find a therapist and get some help for yourself. After all the years with a seriously disturbed person in yoru life you NEED help. Anyone in yoru situation would.
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    It stinks out the wazoo. My heart aches for the baby too. I hope she decides to leave the baby with you until she figures something more stable out. If you do get the baby, make sure you've got temp custody, especially if she's going to be far away for medical reasons and such. And it will be harder for her to just come pick up baby whenever she pleases.........but we won't tell her that part if you don't.

    Saying a prayer for the wee one.
  7. elizabrary

    elizabrary Member

    Thanks guys! I know I can't really do much- and I'm contacting CPS in the city where she is tomorrow, although I'm unsure of her whereabouts!

    And those are goofball's teeth. I just pushed his lip up and he sat there like that. He is the only one that lets me do goofy stuff and take pics. I have lots of him with hats, scarves, odd things on his head!!! He is awesome!
  8. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Sending hugs and prayers. Hope you're able to get KK soon and keep her safe.
  9. KFld

    KFld New Member

    I've learned to detatch from difficult child, but I know if there was a child involved, it would change the entire situation. Sorry you are going through this. I hope you have the type of job that is understanding. I couldn't work in a better place with what I go through with my difficult child. I work at an outpatient mental health facility, so they are very understanding people because my difficult child is exactly the type of people they treat. If I was anywhere else I probably would have lost my job a long time ago.
  10. elizabrary

    elizabrary Member

    My job is pretty good. I don't spread my bad news around, but when I need to leave or take some time off I generally am able. I can also coast if I am having a bad day for the most part. I do like to stay busy though to keep my mind off my worries.

    I contacted CPS today and received what I thought was an odd response. I emailed the head of CPS for the city she is in now and when I did that previously they forwarded my email to a caseworker. This time I received a reply that she had forwarded my email to that child abuse hotline. It makes no sense to me, but maybe that is how they deal with it there.
  11. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Perhaps it was done because they believe the situation is in need of immediate attention.

    When katie took off when kayla and alex were babies, I knew where she was headed, but I also knew she had no where to stay. I called cps for where she was headed and filled them in and told them I feared that katie and M would attempt to live out of the mini station wagon she had.

    Honestly, I figured they'd blow me off. They didn't know me. But what I hadn't counted on (and had not known until then) was that even at that time she had a file with cps there. The person I spoke to informed me of that and told me police would be alerted to the make/model/license plates of the car to make certain they weren't trying to live on the streets with the kids. I may be wrong but I believe the hotline as well as the police were contacted.

    I hope difficult child takes you up on your offer soon.

  12. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Elizabray -

    Was thinking about you and the baby and your daughter - any word?
  13. dashcat

    dashcat Member

    I've been thinking about you, too. Hope everything is ok.
  14. elizabrary

    elizabrary Member

    Thanks for the thoughts guys! No word and she hasn't spoken to her dad either. I haven't heard anything else from CPS but they may not even be able to locate her. I've been doing ok- keeping busy to keep my mind off of it. Yesterday Queenie really messed up her paw and is now on "bedrest" as much as a dog can be. Princess doesn't play well with others, so I took Prince to the dog park and on errands with me. He has rarely, if ever, been out alone with me. He wasn't used to playing with the other dogs without his sisters running interference! I really enjoyed the time alone with him and now he is knocked out he is so tired. Little things like that keep me going and make me genuinely happy! So it's been a good day!