Worse Christmas Eve ever and it won't happen again

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by MidwestMom, Dec 24, 2013.

  1. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hubby claimed he didn't feel well and has literally spent all night on his computer. I went to church alone, which was a bit intimidating. I did not see anyone else alone, but the service was the highlight of the night. I love the candlelight services. The kids won't go to church with me. Jumper spent the night at her boyfriend's family's party. Now I don't mind that she spends a lot of time there. He has a huge family and we have almost nobody. But she didn't show up until I was in my jammies and ready for bed and I was ticked that she came so late. She is my daughter, I love her, and I really wanted her to be there with us most of the night. She seems to prefer his family to ours. She never brings him here. I know his family is more fun than just four of us, but I missed her so much. Then when she finally came she got upset and boyfriend was with her and I am wondering if I'll ever not feel funny around her boyfriend again. She got angry and created a scene in front of him that made me look bad. Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeez. Did she HAVE to? I loved that guy. Now I wonder what he thinks of me.

    My new plans for the future.

    It doesn't seem that my own family, other than Sonic, want to celebrate, at least not in my house with our small group. Next year I am definitely driving down to Chicago to be with Julie and Geoff on the actual holiday, not before or after. They will be available. Whether anyone comes with me or not, I don't care. I want to spend time with my loved ones who are available. The excuses hurt me. I'll probably bring Sonic. Hubby claims he needs to stay home to watch the dogs (an excuse in my opinion) and Jumper is very involved in boyfriend's family. Dare I say I'm starting to resent them? It's not fair, I know, but can't help my feelings.

    My other alternative is to ignore the holiday as if they don't exist, save myself a bunch of money, and just act like it is any other day. One or the other, that will be the plan. Tonight was just like any other bland nght, minus the awesome candlelight church service that I went to alone.I cried a lot by myself. Nobody noticed but my sweet dogs.

    I refuse to spent New Years Eve with hubby on puter, Jumper out and about and only Lucas at home. If necessary, I think I will find a few gals to go to the Casino with. Or I"ll go alone. I am fairly friendly with people I don't know and I'm pretty sure I'd have a good time even if I went alone. Pftttttttt to staying at home with grumpy husband who doesn't like to do anything and Daughter with her boyfreinds family. Sonic will be ok without me, but I will bring him good food from the Casino. One more year and he'll be old enough to come with me...yay!!!!

    My dogs were the only ones, besides Sonic, who gave me any loving this Christmas Eve. I don't feel like doing the present bit tomorrow. I am NOT in the Christmas spirit at all. I don't want any presents and I don't feel like handing any out. I was going to make a big breakfast, but I anticipate sleeping late.

    I am very sad, disgusted, and disappointed, but I refuse to let this happen again.

    Just a vent :) Hope you are having a better time than I am :)
    Last edited: Dec 24, 2013
  2. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you had such a lousy evening, MWM. Hope tomorrow is a better day. Hugs.
  3. helpangel

    helpangel Active Member

    I'm having a much better time then you but in the exact same boat... well except with me is cats not dogs. At least you made it to church... will take my folks Sunday, but I really miss the candlelight service they do on Christmas eve.

    I made baked ziti tonight for all of us, 2 of them even said GRUNT "good" so I guess they liked it. Made most of the stuff my mom has me bringing tomorrow... I know I volunteered but mom's mind is going and the only thing she brought to Thanksgiving was her apple pie (which was wonderful 20 years ago) and I was sitting across from her with a chunk of rock hard pie crust in my mouth that had no apples anywhere in there. Still trying to figure how to transport the scallop potatoes & candied yams without someone getting burnt.

    So anyway excuse me if I get yappy but it's late and my son isn't very talkative but in his defense he's been running a temp over 101 for 2 days. On my 3rd glass of wine watching the kitty's having a riot with their stocking toys - I emptied and washed the old ones then restuffed with new catnip (they think they are all new). What ya gonna do? I had a budget of like nothing this year, had to get creative.

    Was really lucky found a electonics store guy who loves antique china plates... anyway got Rachel that netbook she has wanted and needed (been hurt fighting for computer time many times) and only had to give up a couple I could care less about. My topaz earrings & necklace I haven't worn in forever that Angel is gonna flip over (real jewelry & a cool color blue). Dumped $50 into the dollar store to go with and hey I'm more confident this year then years when started in August and spent a fortune.

    Anyway sorry your feeling lonely tonight, seems I'm alone besides the cat's most of the time; kids are here but don't interact with me much unless looking for food. Guess I just been doing this by myself so long got comfortable entertaining myself. Hopefully tomorrow will be better for you, gonna round up the cats and head to bed.

  4. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    Hugs MWM and Merry Christmas to you. I'm sorry you were disappointed last night. I hope today is better. I would talk to Jumper about behaving like that around others. It doesn't just make you look bad, but her as well. Next year you'll be at Julie's, you'll have a baby grandchild, it will be amazing.
  5. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    You are not alone. I went to church by myself and it was sad to see all the families sitting together. My son never came home last night. My daughter does not want to get together because her husband is his usual grinchy self. My oldest son is with his daughters family. My 17 year old is not getting gifts this year. I did not feel like buying nice things that he just gives away or trades for drugs.

    I felt good about going to church. The truth is I am not alone. I have people who are not family that I have come to love and today I will reach out to them. I will start with you. You are loved and appreciated for your loving heart and your wisdom which you share without reservation. Merry Christmas MWM.
  6. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Merry Christmas mwm and I'm sorry you are sad. Try to put on a happy face today even if everyone else wants to be grumpy, it may catch on. Take care of yourself today and know you have family here.

    Helpangel (Nancy) I hope your day goes well, some people havea difficult time beign happy, don;t let them bring you down.

    Pasajes4 I couldn't agree more, you are not alone, we are here. I belong to a family support group for substance abuse, the support that we give each other is incredible and we are just like family. That's what I consider this board to be only in cyberspace.

    Sent from my SCH-I545 using ConductDisorders mobile app
  7. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    MWM my son in laws have not only seen me in jammies but without my dentures.......too many times to count. LOL Don't let it affect your relationship with the man. If you arrive really late.......well, one should expect to see a person ready for bed. Know what I mean??

    Spend xmas eve and or xmas with those who want to spend them with you and make your day happy. Jumper will likely miss your xmas traditions in time, but right now she is trying to fit into a new family and since it's all new.........well, yeah.

    I know that both my son in laws mothers are a tad jealous over our holidays so various reasons. The guys love their families and their moms.......it's just well, I dunno exactly. Here there is no drama, for sure. There is no underlying competition between sibs. Even with all of the difficult children in the family.....holidays are filled with much laughter and love, regardless of whether or not they follow plans. I learned many many years ago to roll with the flow. It isn't that way in their families. They spend holidays there, just not as much time as they do here.

    Sounds like your church service was wonderful. Maybe husband could've went.........but it was still wonderful without him. Know what I mean?? I'm glad you were able to enjoy it even though you found going alone intimidating.

    As our children age up, holidays change as families change. Develop new traditions that make the days special and mix them into the ones the family is holding on to.

    I hope today is much better for you.

  8. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Thanks. Christmas morning was better. Jumper is feeling badly. I have wanted family pictures for my 60th birthday (that is in September) and today I think I will get them.
    Looking forward to seeing Julie tomorrow, but not the long ride to Chicago...ugh. Well, Jumper likes to drive still. I'll let her do it.
  9. Confused

    Confused Guest

    MidwestMom- Im sorry Christmas Eve went bad but glad it got better this morning! I understand how you feel, too bad we are not in the same town, Id go to a Casino with you!!! Our dogs also were happy this morning, so I hear ya about them :) Hugs!

    Hope you get your Photos ~~~
  10. Scent of Cedar *

    Scent of Cedar * Well-Known Member

    MWM, I probably would have done the same thing re: pajamas. It's impossible to create Christmas spirit all by yourself unless you knew ahead of time that you would be by yourself. You thought someone was coming, so that is what you anticipated. I would have been hurt and disappointed, too.

    It sounds like church was beautiful. I'm so glad you went, even if it was alone.

    Wishing a better time through the coming days, MWM. I like that casino idea! Whether you go with husband or with your girlfriends, that will be a great way to spend New Years Eve. I think they have excellent buffets that night, too.


  11. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Thanks, Cedar. They have GREAT buffets. I think husband will come to that. To be fair to him, he has always been hard of hearing from his Air Force days working on the line and it has gotten worse and his hearing aid busted so he was pretty deaf and not in a good mood. Should have his hearing aid back by New Years and he likes the Casino.

    Next year, I am not going to have a repeat. I will go to Chicago. The baby will be here by then. If people come with me, fine. If not, that's fine too. I'm not one to do the same thing over and over again if it doesn'Tourette's Syndrome work. Jumper, in all fairness, is a great kid, but she and her boyfriend are very close and he has the big family...he's also a nice kid. He'll be over here in a few minutes to take family pictures for us and to get presents. I guess since Jumper is in her teen years, can't expect her holidlay plans to be as stable as my older kid's plans. I know Julie and Geoff will be spending some holidays at home. Geoff has a very small family too...his sister and his mom and half the time his sister isn't talking to somebody...lol.
    I've even thought of going to MIssouri one holiday. If 36 is not under undo stress, he is still high strung, but not dangerous. And I long to see that particular grandchild. I get videos and pictures of him and talk to him galore...he is such a cute boy.
  12. helpangel

    helpangel Active Member

    I'm so glad you are having a better day; after reading my post last night think I'm gonna make a new rule for myself - stop typing when pour that second glass of wine. Will need to look at my history and see where all I was at on the internet last night. At least I stayed off the phone... yikes that would have been really bad LOL.

  13. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm glad your day is going better:)
  14. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Heh Nancy. I hear ya!
  15. muttmeister

    muttmeister Well-Known Member

    Sorry your Christmas was a bummer; so was mine. I used, pre-kids, to travel at Christmas (have spent Christmases in Israel, England, Turkey, Morocco, Switzerland, and probably a couple of others I'm forgetting). I'm seriously thinking of starting that again next year. Or maybe all of us here on the board should meet in central location and have our own shindig. All I know is, I'm not doing this again.
  16. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Thanks to all of you. Christmas Day was much better and today we're driving out to see Julie and I'm very excited.
  17. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Mutt, that sounds so fun. Can you imagine what people would say if we all got together at Xmas? I have people thinking I am nuts already for meeting people I know from online...lol.
  18. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    MWM, Pasajes and others,
    I am so sorry it was so sad. And I totally agree that you HAVE to go where you are loved and included, especially on holidays that mean a lot to you. Give them plenty of notice, and then stick to your plans. You don't have to be accusatory, just factual.
    Then, enjoy yourself! We only live once. :)