Can we ever have a holiday that goes off without a meltdown? Please? I couldnt sleep the night before Thanksgiving because I tripped over the kidlet and knocked my knee into the bathtub and put a right nasty bruise on it and it was killing me. I had also been on my feet an exceptionally long time yesterday cleaning and washing clothes so the house would be halfway decent for cooking and such. I have to admit I have been extremely good at making sure all of tonys clothes have been kept washed lately. Oh...except for that one pair of pesky long john pants he decided to whine and scream about later Thanksgiving morning...but I digress. So anyways...I never slept and finally decided I would sneak on over to the Big Lots sale first thing Thanksgiving morning just to check it out. I was in and out before anyone was even up and brought Tony back a cup of coffee to boot! Wasnt that thoughtful? We get up...ok they get up and start working on seeing what is needed to get started for the meal. I finished washing up the few dishes someone used over the evening hours. My job never ends, I tell ya! Then I folded more clothes, did another load in the washer...yada yada. I come out from the laundry room and see Cory on the phone and its only 8:30 in the morning. I made one comment about how come he has to wake up and immediately put the phone to his ear? That he is burning up my minutes and to get the hell of it. Well that started him arguing about how I had an attitude and blah blah. I probably was a bit short with him. Set the tone let me tell ya. Next thing you know tony has finished what he can start for the meal for the immediate time being...and he starts in on Cory and how he always takes his things. Seems Tony cant lay his hands on his coat RIGHT THAT VERY SECOND and he starts blaming Cory. Now he already thinks Cory wore his cammo coat off somewhere and we dont know if he did or didnt. They both have them so it could be that Cory got confused and grabbed the wrong one. Not inconceivable. I dont think it was done with the malice aforethought that tony ascribes to it. Then Tony starts in on this black leather jacket that he also wears. Its not a good one but an old worn out one that he wears that he got at this cheap store but it keeps him warm. He starts screaming that Cory took this one too because he cant find it right NOW either. Now I was finding it very hard to believe that he has had two coats go missing and walking out of this house by Cory in 2 weeks...that is hard to believe. Cory isnt that stupid. Also, Tony wore that coat last saturday and it really hasnt been cold since then and Cory does have his own coat plus where has Cory been to need a coat? I mean he had that coat on his back on saturday, we know he was wearing it we think on sunday or monday...so it was only thursday...that isnt many days to go missing. So Cory is denying it, Tony is screaming how he just KNOWS that he is a liar, thief, yada yada, and Im sticking my two cents in saying that I know that this coat hasnt walked off...that he must have just stuck it someplace in the house or maybe he left it somewhere. Ohhhh NO...Im wrong, I shouldnt think, I cant think...Im tooo stupid to think, I dont know how to think...only HE knows how to think because he knows all and the little blanking thief is the one who took his coat just like he takes every damn thing...blah blah blah. Meanwhile this is all done at full volume, spittle coming out of his mouth, walls being kicked, him in my face...while he is holding the baby. I told him to put her down, and get the hell out of my house now...and I meant NOW! That I wasnt going to continue dealing with someone who was going to throw a fit that lasted the better part of an hour while he lambasted and argued and screamed at everyone and scared that baby to death. He got up in my face and told me to push him and he would kick the out of me, I told him if he did it would be the last damn thing he ever did because I would bury his . He is threatening to beat Cory to death, the boys are in the yard screaming at him to get away from me because the think he is going to hurt me while holding the baby...it was a nightmare. I got off and tossed the collards that were cooking on the stove into the sink and he tried to throw me onto the stove but I managed to push myself past it and only got pushed into the fridge. Meanwhile...we hear Cory and Billy in the yard yelling for him to go into the yard...Cory was quite vocal in his wording considering what tony had called him. Billy had found tonys coat in my trunk. Obviously he had tossed the coat in my trunk on saturday nite when I had to go rescue him when his battery died. Like I said...he puts things places and cant remember and then blames everyone else for it. Did he say sorry? Of course not! Then he started in on his little hunting flashlight that he claims he had in there. Oh hell no...we all told him he had that the day the power went out and HE was the last one to have that when he was walking around with it. Oh but that isnt the worse. Suddenly he looks over...and his gun is gone! His prized 30 30 that Jamie gave him last Xmas. Now here is where I must tell you that I have begged him to put it in a safer place...sitting in a corner in plain sight of our front door and all who walk in is just asking for trouble considering we dont have door locks...but he wont listen. He blames US for not keeping a better watch on his gun! We should watch it at all times as if it was an infant. I have been as aware of it as I can be and twice when I have noticed it not where it should be I have called him and asked him where it was and he has told me. I guess that doesnt count for being on the ball. No...I am at fault for not being aware. He fell apart...screaming, crying...threatening to kill someone. Its none of his fault for not putting it in a safer place, for not have locks on our doors, for not having it chained up. Oh no. I called the cops. We know who had to have done this. One of the neighborhood punks is on a stealing spree and has done it to several other neighbors lately. He even came in and hit cory for pot a few months ago. One of the biggest signs that it is this punk is the guy rides around our house on a 4wheeler. If anyone else came in they would have taken the computers, tvs, etc. He couldnt carry them. He took the gun that had the strap to carry it. Biggest thing is that this gun is registered because it is a rifle and it is registered to Jamie. God forbid if it was used in a crime it would come back on him. Jamie had to register it in his name because he bought it as a gift for his dad. Dont ask me why that happened that way. We are going to call the pawn shop tomorrow where we bought the gun and get the serial numbers and call the detectives. This is a felony...actually two. Breaking and entering and stealing the gun. Problem is tony swears they will never do anything about it because it will probably never go to a real pawn shop. They will probably pass it around to drug dealers. Well maybe so for a short while but eventually someone may attempt to pawn it when they need money and boom...its in the system. Meanwhile Tony swears he is going to shoot Chris off that 4wheeler if he ever sees him again. At this point I dont doubt him. I dont know him anymore. I told him he was going to have another damn stroke and this one was going to kill him. He claims he is the only one not allowed to get mad and blah blah blah. I said you are allowed to get mad...but in case you havent noticed...when I throw a fit, it doesnt last for hours. I get mad, I yell for 2,3 maybe 5 minutes tops...and then I might hit something...and then Im in my room crying. I dont have rages that last for hours and hours. The baby was so upset she was crying and screaming and hiccuping. He wouldnt give her to me to take her out of the line of fire. Honestly Joy..I dont know how much more of this I can take. I told him to leave. He started to but then the gun thing happened...he was swearing at me over how I will never make it, how I will never make another car payment, never make another electric payment, how he will cut my phones off...yada yada. How he will have my trailer evicted off the land. I said...whatever...do it. It isnt a big loss to me. My therapist has told me before in the not too distant past that we were headed for a nervous breakdown...the two of us. I think we are there. He absolutely hates me. I dont know that I am far from feeling the same way about him. Blaming me for things that are completely out of my control is uncalled for. I didnt do this. He doesnt see it this way. If he wants me to watch his things, then he should not have made it so that I have to play taxi 10 hours a day. It was his idea and his rule that says it is my job to run everyone around all day. Certainly not mine. I didnt even eat yesterday. I took way too many klonopin at 11am and fell asleep and woke up at 6 then fixed a small sandwich and went back to bed after taking my night medications with a double dose of ambien. Was back asleep by 8. I couldnt see any reason to be awake with him around.