Would it be too obvious if I dragged my feet on this again this year?

[gcvmom]

In-laws are coming out again this summer. Last summer we had shut down our upstairs guest bath because it had a major leak that was running down into our kitchen. Since we didn't have a spare bathroom for them to use (and the guest room has been a storage room for the past 2.5 years) they didn't stay with us last summer, but stayed with their three daughters instead (who invariably pitch and moan about who got more time with their parents -- and the parents hate going from house to house to house to visit -- they just want to stay in one place and have everyone come to them -- but hey, that's their problem. I didn't invite them out here!)

Haven't had the time/money/inclination to do anything about the bathroom yet. husband sez to me last weekend that we'd better do something about that bathroom if his parents are going to stay with us while they're out here this summer. I replied that I did not know they were coming out here or that they were staying with us. He didn't have anything more to say. I know that was really passive of me, but if I come out and say I don't want them to stay with us it will really hurt his feelings.

So do you think he'll notice if I drag my feet on this (again)?

Of course, I also have a feeling that whatever repairs are needed will be a major deal up in that room, so if I just go ahead and get an estimate and show him that we can't afford the work right now, that alone could be my excuse for not doing it.

 

[trinityroyal]

In your shoes I would drag my feet on that project too.

Take your time, get 3 or 4 (5, 6?) quotes from different service people, do a thorough evaluation of each quote. Perhaps decide that as long as you're going to repair, you may as well redecorate. Then dither about paint chips and fixtures.

With a bit of creativity and determination, you can drag that project out through next summer's visit

 

[gcvmom]

You're reading my mind Trinity! I was trying to think of a way to parlay this into a kitchen remodel TOO!!! I actually do suspect a slab leak in our kitchen floor... neighbors with our same model had one last year... had to rip up the whole floor... Hmmmm...

 

[ML]

I don't blame you one bit!

 

[tiredmommy]

Wouldn't be cheaper to pay for their hotel room?

 

[tiredmommy]

Or maybe rent an RV to stay in the driveway?

 

[gcvmom]

See, that's just another thing stuck in my craw. They whined about not having any money to come out here this summer so husband offered to give them $600 to cover their road trip out here. It was THEIR idea to come out. I'm sorry, but after funding their medical insurance for five years and taking them to Hawaii two years ago, I'm feeling a little tapped out.

It would be cheaper for them to just STAY HOME!

 

[tiredmommy]

But... there's always the possibility of the RV accidently rolling into the canyon behind your house with them in it (just get the insurance!). That would free you up for every summer to come!

Can you tell I spent the evening with my in-laws?

 

[gcvmom]

Mwah-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaa!

 

[KTMom91]

I'd be dragging my feet, too. I don't want family staying with me...one of the reasons I refuse to move. With a two-bedroom house, it's easy to say, "We'd love to see you, but we just don't have the room!"

 

[trinityroyal]

it's easy to say, "We'd love to see you, but we just don't have the room!"

One of the many reasons I have so many children

Seriously though, Gcv, you don't actually have to finish (or even really start) the project. Just deploy some artfully arranged tarps and ladders, rip up a tile or two and all of a sudden, you're "in the middle of renovations" and just can't accommodate anyone else in your house.

It also lets you off the hook for any financial contributions to your in-laws' travel. You simply can't afford it 'cause you're renovating

 

[AnnieO]

Thank goodness (sort of) that my parents and in-laws live close enough to stay at their own places.

When other people come in from out of town? My parents don't have an extra bedroom. My old one is now Mom's sewing room - no bed - and the other is her home office. So they don't have room.

Neither do we! Between renovations and Onyxx, no one stays.

I like Trinity's idea.

 

[gcvmom]

Oh geez, I came home last night from visiting friends and found that husband and difficult child 2 had started "organizing" the spare bedroom/storage room. You could actualy see the two twin beds that are in there. Only trouble is... only ONE of the beds has a boxspring... And I REFUSE to go buy another one.... But knowing husband, he'll just take the bottom bed out of difficult child 2's bunk bed and put it up there for his parents. Ugh. I'm not looking forward to this...

 

[tiredmommy]

Don't you need to come east for something... anything?

 

[witzend]

He paid for their trip and wants you to finish the bathroom for them? Huh-uh.

I wouldn't drag my feet at all. I'd flat out (but gently, mind you) tell him that you don't want them to stay with you in the house. That he did it backwards. That he should have taken any few days during the entire year to have fixed the bathroom and then talked to you about arrangements for his parents. Talk about P/A! Did your husband get a package in the mail recently because I think that my husband must have shipped him the P/A crown! Tell him that next year if the bathroom is completed and the guest room is cleared well in advance, you can discuss accommodating his parents. This year if everyone else wants them at your house, rent the RV. Check Craigslist for deals.

 

[Jody]

I am with witzend on this one. OMG. I am sorry this is happening!!! I can imagine it would be hard to hurt husband feelings, but how long are they going to stay? I think that might decide it for me!!!! Hope it goes by fast for you!!!

 

[AnnieO]

Wow. Just wow. Any way you can play difficult child on this one?????

 

[susiestar]

I think you should follow witz' advice. It does NOT sound like they are easy guests to have around. You have a LOT on your plate with the kids this summer. I am sure your husband will be working long hours. It is OK to tell your husband that you do not want them to stay with you. In fact, if you go along with it YOUR feelings will end up hurt. Your husband needs to recognize the extreme challenges that you have to face simply because the kids will be home for the summer. You do not have the emotional resources to handle adding inlaws and squabbling sister in law's to the mix. Paying for the trip and their insurance and the other trip is more than enough.

Just in my opinion.

 

[gcvmom]

Hmmm... maybe a well-timed nervous breakdown for myself?

 

[susiestar]

Go for it!!! Find an area of town that has something you like to do. Get a hotel room, tickets to a play, concert, whatever and go. Get a massage the next day, go see every movie that interests you, haunt the bookstores if that floats your boat, have your nails done, read in bed uninterrupted and have food delivered.

Whatever would be a good break for YOU. With all the kid stress, the medical problems with your kids and husband, everything, YOU deserve a few days away. You could time it while your inlaws are there to "help" husband with the kids. Be SURE to tell your inlaws how much you appreciate them for coming out so that you could have a few days away.

husband gets his parents there, you get some greatly needed respite, your inlaws can visit with-o annoying you, it is all good! How can the inlaws say anything horrible about you leaving if you sing their praises about how much you appreciate them for coming to help husband with the kids while you get a hugely needed break. The more you tell them how wonderful they are the less they can say to object to what you are doing.

So where do you want to go?