Would you say anything?

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
Star its not slander if its true.

Shari, I would tell your friend what you know too.

Something similar came up with my ex about 12 years ago or so. I hadnt heard from my ex for almost 20 years at that point and he and his second wife were then going through a divorce. She had hated me for her entire marriage because my ex had lied to her about how he was sending me child support but I was lying to child support and they were having to run because of that...Hahaha. She fell for it. However, she learned over the years that he was an abusive SOB who did everything that I knew he was when I left him. So one day I got a phone call at my job from her. Seems she got my number because she called my mom's house and talked to my son who gave her my number. She wanted to talk to me and wanted me to write a notarized statement for the court about how my ex treated me when I was married, how he treated my son, how he never visited him and how he never paid a dime in child support. Oh this was rich! I was happy to do it. I still wonder how my ex reacted when he heard my statement read in court and the first ex reappeared from long ago...lmao.
 

Malika

Well-Known Member
I didn't read each response in depth so maybe I'm off-base a little, but based on the original info your posted, as long as your friend wasn't also a friend of his, yes, I would say something, delicately- maybe a very strong hint thrown out, then leave it alone. If the friend is a mutual friend of you both, I'd recommend not saying anything. I can't imagine it would be interpreted in a good way, no matter how good your intentions are.

Your post, klmno, made me think of a situation that happened some years ago, when I was married to my (Moroccan) ex-husband. I was staying with a French friend who was due to get married to a Moroccan guy, a childhood acquaintance of my husband. She had various reasons to doubt the relationship, mainly related to his excessive drinking. She spent much of the time talking about her doubt and uncertainty - should she go forwards with the relationship or break things off? Then my then husband told me about some serious things he had witnessed my friend's fiance getting up to in Marrakesh, involving prostitutes, stolen money, horrible stuff. Should I tell my friend or not? What a dilemma... Eventually, I decided I had to. Mistake! She rounded on me, accused me of making things up because I was "jealous", we had a very unpleasant and upsetting parting of the ways...
Years later, she got in touch again. They had married, had a child, he was a serious alcoholic, the relationship was in real trouble. Now we have reconciled again and she is divorcing...
I did the right thing according to my integrity but in hindsight... I don't know if I would be so honest again.
 
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