My boss/best friend M left yesterday for a new job in Vegas. I have not felt this close to a girl friend in decades - except for my sister H. I love M. She is funny, and smart, and well she always made work an adventure, happy. We had SO many awesome times in the last 6 months - she is the only reason I even accepted this job. We just instantly bonded - like sisters. Yesterday was her last day. I couldn't even say goodbye. I am afraid to even face the raw emotion there. It seems to be tangled in the loss of H., and the pain of Matt. I told her she had to come back to see me to say goodbye. She was packing her office, and I just wanted to hurl myself in her door way and make her stop. I know we will always be friends - but we will be friends at a distance. Couple with her leaving, is the fact that her job has been literally dumped in my lap. Now I have her cell phone, and mine - her email, and mine - her job and mine. I have assumed her identity, basically. And yet the VP does not want me to actually have her job, just for me to do it in the interim. For whatever reason he does not like me - I am truly not sure why - other than he is an insecure, egocentric narcissist. Now I report to him, rather than M, and he is a tyrant. It really seems too overwhelming to me. The sheer raw emotion of losing M., coupled with bearing her job responsibilities, coupled with no support from the VP. It makes me want to run - run super far away. Instead I just feel numb, like a sock is in my brain. I don't know. Thanks for listening. I feel so discouraged right now. It seems like just when I find a great equilibrium and happiness in life - the universe does something to rip it out from under me. Possibly I am just better off alone, without trying to form ties, or bonds to people. It seems less painful.