My son, 15, who had a great day Wednesday -- a happy day, a fun day -- woke up not feeling well this morning. He's missed too many days of school this term already, because of bronchitis a couple weeks ago, so I told him his options were to go to school or to go to urgent care. (He wanted to just go back to bed.) He got really upset. I mean, over the top, by about a billion miles. He started crying, saying he wanted his dad back. "Dad would never treat me like this." Then he went straight to, "It's YOUR fault. MURDERER!" My God. What happened? NO idea. I try to stay cool, repeat that he can either go to urgent care if he's sick, or go to school. A few minutes later we're in the car on the way to school. He goes on about how he's known for the last 3 and a half years that I killed his dad, but never had the guts to say it before. He can't be reasoned with. I shut down and deliver him quietly to school. Sure he's said things to hurt me before, but this ... absolutely floored me. I don't know who to talk to about it. He's been very resistant to counseling. (Dad didn't agree with him being in counseling; everything was MY fault, MY bad parenting.) Don't have any friends I can talk to about this. No one really gets what it's like, you know? He wants to go live with his dads' parents. That is the last place on earth I want him to live. If anyone on this planet put the idea in his head that I was to blame for his dad's suicide, it would be his grandmother. They despise me. He visits every other weekend, and we still go through "detox" when he comes home. I really don't think he would hurt himself, but when he has a total blow-up like this, without being provoked, I worry. Most of the time, he's social, always talking about his interests, acting like a member of the family, other than what I'd guess is 'normal' bickering with his little sister. Now he hates me, hates her because she's just like me, and has just been "playing" the good son role because he was afraid to confront me about killing his dad? Really? Going to try to find something local for family counseling, but if he won't go willingly, I don't know what I can possibly do to get him there.