Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by crazymama30, Jul 9, 2008.

  1. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    We have had a very busy last week, fourth of July, with a wedding on the fourth, then off to a bbq and to watch fireworks. On the 6th of July had husband's and easy child's birthday party.

    All this activity really set difficult child off. He was super anxious, demanding, irritable and his mood was swinging from one extreme to the next.

    Is this just what I get to expect when there are holidays and lots of excitement and people? difficult child loses it. He barely ate for several days, said he did not want people to see him eat. Thank god he started eating again. Actually, I was very proud of him over that one, he called me when he was at work and said he was going to face his fear, he would eat in front of people. And he has. Today and yesterday he has eaten very well.

    I even took him off his daytrana for a few days, it made no difference so I put him back on it today. He was a little calmer and much more reasonable. I actually took him to the store.

    I e-mailed psychiatrist, but he did not answer. He must be on vacation. I am sure I will hear from him when he gets back, next week I think.
  2. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Good for him to recognize and want to overcome a fear.

    For holiday and busy weekends, have you ever been able to make a calendar of each day for difficult child? I know mine gets stressed on vacation because we don't always know from one hour to the next what we will be doing. I find those days that our hosts can tell us the plan ahead of time goes much better for difficult child. Maybe even a list of the people you know will be seen each day?

    If your difficult child was focusing on eating in front of others then that may be his biggest challenge right now. SOOOO SOOO AWESOME of him to face his fears.
  3. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Wow, Adrianne, that is a good idea. I think in the future when I know we will be busy I will make difficult child a calendar. I think that would help. Thank you for the tip.
  4. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    For us, holidays and other "special events" are very hard. We've learned to deal with them differently so they aren't so bad, but in general, yeah, the difficult child-ness escalates.

    We downplay holidays like Christmas. difficult child knows the tree can go up around Thanksgiving, so that's a given activity that takes place on Thanksgiving, even if we are all dead tired. Otherwise, he obsesses over it. Presents don't go under the tree, or even get mentioned, until a couple of days before Christmas. Again, prevents obsessing. As he becomes more aware of dates/days, etc, this will be more of an issue, but we just leave Christmas day as some abstract day in the future, which helps for now.

    I also keep a box of bribes in my closet. New little toys and activities. For things like weddings, etc, I make sure to throw a few in my bag so I can bribe my way thru it, if I need to. He was the ringbearer in my neice's wedding. We talked it up for weeks before hand, even went to churches and practiced. I carried a bag of bribes and did nothing but basically cater to him. I even hired a kid to follow us around and pick up all his stuff (when he was ready to move to the next activity, we went - the goal was ZERO frustration - I didn't even pick up the stuff, we just flew - the "follower" picked up everything) it cost a pretty penny, but, for that penny, he wore MOST of his tux (refused the pants, so he wore plaid shorts that accidentally matched, and no shoes LOL), my neice got her ringbearer, PICTURES, and they still talk about the "miracle" I worked that day 3 years ago. I still recall the he!! it was to make that happen. lol But I won't tell her that.

    Anyway, I'm rambling, but the point is, likely you can figure out ways to make it easier on yourself, but they'll probably always require extra planning.