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Writing a Will involving a Difficult Child
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 660935" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>SS, this has been my guiding factor in thinking about what I would do regarding my two sons. As I have just remarried, we have discussed this a lot, how to set things up so his two daughters and my two sons have access to most of the assets we accumulated before we married, once we are both gone.</p><p></p><p>As you know, Difficult Child is doing better and has been for a year. He is talking about going to school for a one-year certificate program in the fall. I am thinking about helping him with bills during that year---not paying all the bills---he will have to work, but helping him some so he can take this big step forward. Right now, I am sitting and waiting and watching to see if he actually will do all it takes to make it happen. So, I am cautiously optimistic about his future, but I also know that he needs to make it happen, not me. If he got a big windfall right now, who knows what direction he would go in? </p><p></p><p>So...If I go first, my dear husband will have the awful task of dealing with how to parcel out my "estate" to both of my sons, the easy child and the Difficult Child. Actually, getting a lot of money right now would not be good for either of them, because they are both learning to make their own way in the world and grow up.</p><p></p><p>That said, we have talked about my dear husband doling out Difficult Child's share as he sees fit. That is a terrible burden on him but he is up to that task. Yes, Difficult Child would not like it, but I'm not putting a loaded gun in his hand.</p><p></p><p>Likely, we'll keep on living (hopefully) and this won't even be an issue for many years. I would like to leave my estate to both of my sons equally but I don't know if I will or not. </p><p></p><p>We are going to deal with this more later this fall, so this thread is a good one and I will be reading it with interest.</p><p></p><p>Thanks, SS, not sure if I helped you at all, but my two cents worth at this point.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 660935, member: 17542"] SS, this has been my guiding factor in thinking about what I would do regarding my two sons. As I have just remarried, we have discussed this a lot, how to set things up so his two daughters and my two sons have access to most of the assets we accumulated before we married, once we are both gone. As you know, Difficult Child is doing better and has been for a year. He is talking about going to school for a one-year certificate program in the fall. I am thinking about helping him with bills during that year---not paying all the bills---he will have to work, but helping him some so he can take this big step forward. Right now, I am sitting and waiting and watching to see if he actually will do all it takes to make it happen. So, I am cautiously optimistic about his future, but I also know that he needs to make it happen, not me. If he got a big windfall right now, who knows what direction he would go in? So...If I go first, my dear husband will have the awful task of dealing with how to parcel out my "estate" to both of my sons, the easy child and the Difficult Child. Actually, getting a lot of money right now would not be good for either of them, because they are both learning to make their own way in the world and grow up. That said, we have talked about my dear husband doling out Difficult Child's share as he sees fit. That is a terrible burden on him but he is up to that task. Yes, Difficult Child would not like it, but I'm not putting a loaded gun in his hand. Likely, we'll keep on living (hopefully) and this won't even be an issue for many years. I would like to leave my estate to both of my sons equally but I don't know if I will or not. We are going to deal with this more later this fall, so this thread is a good one and I will be reading it with interest. Thanks, SS, not sure if I helped you at all, but my two cents worth at this point. [/QUOTE]
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