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<blockquote data-quote="Dun Haddit" data-source="post: 633829" data-attributes="member: 17823"><p>A friend posted a meme on fb that said "humor is the one things that keeps me from having to bury bodies". I could do stand-up.</p><p></p><p>Our oldest is in charge of taking dirty clothes out. I have 4 covered large plastic trash cans labeled 'darks' 'whites' 'tans/browns' and 'reds/pinks'. As I did laundry, I noticed I was washing a lot of our daughters clothes, our sheets and towels. Every so often the socks, wash clothes and other miscellaneous whites. The tans/browns or darks never seemed to have enough for a load.</p><p></p><p>After several weeks, I asked if he had been doing his chore. He immediately went I to hysterics about how he knew he would be in trouble if I knew he wasn't. No matter how I phrased, explained or communicated, he refused to accept that I already knew he wasn't because he and his brothers never had clothes to be washed. I asked what kind of sense does that make?</p><p></p><p>Apart from all the severe mental issues, a vital part of their childhood was robbed by the genetic person who birthed them. They were never taught basic things like brushing teeth, washing themselves, grooming, cleaning up after themselves. Giving them tasks and reminders and having them write those things on a list to be read 2x a day has had no impact.</p><p></p><p>Every single day, each is reminded to brush after breakfast, wash fave and neck, comb hair, take medications. If it weren't illegal, I'd start a social experiment and document how each acts and reacts.</p><p></p><p>O will wear the same pair if white socks until they are the color of rain clouds. He wears the same clothes very day after being reminded to change from school clothes. When he actually does wash his face, the cloth is soaked, he makes several awkward passes around his face, never quite connecting with his skin, then hangs the cloth out. No wringing or rinsing. That cloth is used over and over again until there are I many flies all over it, I have to toss it out. If another cloth is not put in it's place, he will not attempt to find another one, but waits to be reminded...and then he either lies and says he is washing, or claims he doesn't know where to find one. He is 16. </p><p></p><p>K, thinking this is a power and control issue, will wet his bed on purpose. If he does decide to wear his depends, he will sit in them for HOURS before waiting to be told to change out of them. He never washes himself afterwards. On the very, very rare occasion he changes without being told, instead of nagging and trashing, he shoves them in his closet, under his bed, in drawers or even his school backpack. Urology confirmed there are no physical issues. When told he could never sleep at a friends house because if it, poof, it stopped. Behavior deteriorated, wetting started again and he hides his bedding. It's to the point where he is now responsible for washing his soiled items. I can't include them with ours because they ferment and the stench is stomach turning. If an item makes it into our wash, some of our things reek. I normally notice after they are in the dryer because the baked hot old urine smell permeates the air. There is a can near the washer with his putrid reeking items in it that I'll be throwing away, soon, but not replacing. Linens are now kept in our room because he will take from other's beds or rooms rather than clean up after himself. He is 13.</p><p></p><p>The twins have the potential to be 'normal' if that word can ever be used to describe any of them. A is an alpha, and if stable on medications, can be a great leader. She is affectionate, helpful, and independent. She can also be nasty, vindictive and cunning. At the age of 4, she was already self-editing when speaking with therapists. Tailoring her answers for each individual she was speaking two. At least 1 therapist admitted he'd NEVER seem a child do that, only pre-teens and up. The first time I met her, my husband had them over for his Xmas with them. Her twin had a train set up and left it laying near the walkway to the restroom. She obviously did not see me, but she walked towards the set, looked around very secretively, then threw herself on the ground and screamed bloody murder about him leaving it out on purpose to trip her. This was 4 months prior to them turning 5.</p><p></p><p>T, well he is a special story. Their bio and her dame treated each child differently. A was bio's favorite, she she was lavished with new clothes (hookers would be envious over the scantily, overtly inappropriate things from mini skirts to knee boots.) T was the dame's prized possession. Up until we gained custody and got a no contact order, T would sleep in her bed, constantly by her side, often locked in her room with her watching TV all day, and after bowel movements, she would clean his bottom. If he wanted anything, he got.</p><p></p><p>Neither cared for K and neither wanted anything to do with O. He was uncontrollable with his meltdowns so he was always placed in a room with video games from his arrival to departure. If asked to stop playing, his violent and explosive reactions would either have him picked up and thrown across a room or he'd be locked back in with the games.</p><p></p><p>Anything broken was blamed on K. The twins were always exempt from blame or punishment. K was the scapegoat, patsy and whipping boy. </p><p></p><p>When we first got custody of O, 5+ years ago, there was a film on his teeth that literally looked like he was wearing the crazy costume teeth for Halloween. Even at the age of 10, he reeked from lack of bathing and his hair was the most awful smell. He had giant flakes of skin and sebum that were the size of scabs from not washing or combing. I'm happy to report that this weeks dental appointment it was suggested he floss better and get sealants, but no new cavities....only because of constant daily reminders. The day we agreed to take him, she had him and his stuff packed outside and wanted it got ASAP.</p><p></p><p>K has never had any positive attention from either of those females. We couldn't make up half the things we know as true, everyone is so flabbergasted how he was treated. When we gained custody of him, she thought that meant she could keep the twins. She sent him to us with nothing. Via the court we asked for his belongings. What important toys she did relinquish (after months of asking) came broken. Scant amounts of clothing trickled after more months.</p><p></p><p>After her failed attempt to blame K for molesting the twins, visitation w her was cut off. She never called him in 1.5 years. When his siblings came back from visiting, they gladly shared how the same took the twins to Disneyland and how O played video games all weekend. She would tell him in therapy about all the nice things she had for him but nothing every made it to our home regardless of promises to send back with the others....but the twins always had new things each time.</p><p></p><p>As mad and angry I feel about their maniacal and insane behaviors, I know we got pieces, not whole children. They will never be normal. From medical and therapy and psychiatric reports, there was enough information and documentation she did everything to alienate the children from us and our providing structure. She instructed the twins to stop taking their medications. Dumped them when they visited and told them God would bring them back to her, they just needed to be really bad here and in school. She never objects to the boys medications and about half the time, administered them.</p><p></p><p>A was hospitalized 5150 because of directions and commands. It helped tremendously to have the treating psychiatrist report that bio would deny any necessity for treatment and only her 'love' would make A better. When we were granted an unprecedented no-contact order, things improved until she showed up at their therapy. Each regressed tremendously and at one point, she'd locked herself in the game room with A breaking the court order.</p><p></p><p>Seroquel and Welbutrin and Xanax are the only things that keep me functioning in the real world. Functioning maybe a far stretch, it is hour by hour, not even day to day. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Dun Haddit, post: 633829, member: 17823"] A friend posted a meme on fb that said "humor is the one things that keeps me from having to bury bodies". I could do stand-up. Our oldest is in charge of taking dirty clothes out. I have 4 covered large plastic trash cans labeled 'darks' 'whites' 'tans/browns' and 'reds/pinks'. As I did laundry, I noticed I was washing a lot of our daughters clothes, our sheets and towels. Every so often the socks, wash clothes and other miscellaneous whites. The tans/browns or darks never seemed to have enough for a load. After several weeks, I asked if he had been doing his chore. He immediately went I to hysterics about how he knew he would be in trouble if I knew he wasn't. No matter how I phrased, explained or communicated, he refused to accept that I already knew he wasn't because he and his brothers never had clothes to be washed. I asked what kind of sense does that make? Apart from all the severe mental issues, a vital part of their childhood was robbed by the genetic person who birthed them. They were never taught basic things like brushing teeth, washing themselves, grooming, cleaning up after themselves. Giving them tasks and reminders and having them write those things on a list to be read 2x a day has had no impact. Every single day, each is reminded to brush after breakfast, wash fave and neck, comb hair, take medications. If it weren't illegal, I'd start a social experiment and document how each acts and reacts. O will wear the same pair if white socks until they are the color of rain clouds. He wears the same clothes very day after being reminded to change from school clothes. When he actually does wash his face, the cloth is soaked, he makes several awkward passes around his face, never quite connecting with his skin, then hangs the cloth out. No wringing or rinsing. That cloth is used over and over again until there are I many flies all over it, I have to toss it out. If another cloth is not put in it's place, he will not attempt to find another one, but waits to be reminded...and then he either lies and says he is washing, or claims he doesn't know where to find one. He is 16. K, thinking this is a power and control issue, will wet his bed on purpose. If he does decide to wear his depends, he will sit in them for HOURS before waiting to be told to change out of them. He never washes himself afterwards. On the very, very rare occasion he changes without being told, instead of nagging and trashing, he shoves them in his closet, under his bed, in drawers or even his school backpack. Urology confirmed there are no physical issues. When told he could never sleep at a friends house because if it, poof, it stopped. Behavior deteriorated, wetting started again and he hides his bedding. It's to the point where he is now responsible for washing his soiled items. I can't include them with ours because they ferment and the stench is stomach turning. If an item makes it into our wash, some of our things reek. I normally notice after they are in the dryer because the baked hot old urine smell permeates the air. There is a can near the washer with his putrid reeking items in it that I'll be throwing away, soon, but not replacing. Linens are now kept in our room because he will take from other's beds or rooms rather than clean up after himself. He is 13. The twins have the potential to be 'normal' if that word can ever be used to describe any of them. A is an alpha, and if stable on medications, can be a great leader. She is affectionate, helpful, and independent. She can also be nasty, vindictive and cunning. At the age of 4, she was already self-editing when speaking with therapists. Tailoring her answers for each individual she was speaking two. At least 1 therapist admitted he'd NEVER seem a child do that, only pre-teens and up. The first time I met her, my husband had them over for his Xmas with them. Her twin had a train set up and left it laying near the walkway to the restroom. She obviously did not see me, but she walked towards the set, looked around very secretively, then threw herself on the ground and screamed bloody murder about him leaving it out on purpose to trip her. This was 4 months prior to them turning 5. T, well he is a special story. Their bio and her dame treated each child differently. A was bio's favorite, she she was lavished with new clothes (hookers would be envious over the scantily, overtly inappropriate things from mini skirts to knee boots.) T was the dame's prized possession. Up until we gained custody and got a no contact order, T would sleep in her bed, constantly by her side, often locked in her room with her watching TV all day, and after bowel movements, she would clean his bottom. If he wanted anything, he got. Neither cared for K and neither wanted anything to do with O. He was uncontrollable with his meltdowns so he was always placed in a room with video games from his arrival to departure. If asked to stop playing, his violent and explosive reactions would either have him picked up and thrown across a room or he'd be locked back in with the games. Anything broken was blamed on K. The twins were always exempt from blame or punishment. K was the scapegoat, patsy and whipping boy. When we first got custody of O, 5+ years ago, there was a film on his teeth that literally looked like he was wearing the crazy costume teeth for Halloween. Even at the age of 10, he reeked from lack of bathing and his hair was the most awful smell. He had giant flakes of skin and sebum that were the size of scabs from not washing or combing. I'm happy to report that this weeks dental appointment it was suggested he floss better and get sealants, but no new cavities....only because of constant daily reminders. The day we agreed to take him, she had him and his stuff packed outside and wanted it got ASAP. K has never had any positive attention from either of those females. We couldn't make up half the things we know as true, everyone is so flabbergasted how he was treated. When we gained custody of him, she thought that meant she could keep the twins. She sent him to us with nothing. Via the court we asked for his belongings. What important toys she did relinquish (after months of asking) came broken. Scant amounts of clothing trickled after more months. After her failed attempt to blame K for molesting the twins, visitation w her was cut off. She never called him in 1.5 years. When his siblings came back from visiting, they gladly shared how the same took the twins to Disneyland and how O played video games all weekend. She would tell him in therapy about all the nice things she had for him but nothing every made it to our home regardless of promises to send back with the others....but the twins always had new things each time. As mad and angry I feel about their maniacal and insane behaviors, I know we got pieces, not whole children. They will never be normal. From medical and therapy and psychiatric reports, there was enough information and documentation she did everything to alienate the children from us and our providing structure. She instructed the twins to stop taking their medications. Dumped them when they visited and told them God would bring them back to her, they just needed to be really bad here and in school. She never objects to the boys medications and about half the time, administered them. A was hospitalized 5150 because of directions and commands. It helped tremendously to have the treating psychiatrist report that bio would deny any necessity for treatment and only her 'love' would make A better. When we were granted an unprecedented no-contact order, things improved until she showed up at their therapy. Each regressed tremendously and at one point, she'd locked herself in the game room with A breaking the court order. Seroquel and Welbutrin and Xanax are the only things that keep me functioning in the real world. Functioning maybe a far stretch, it is hour by hour, not even day to day. Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app [/QUOTE]
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