Wrong Answer, Dear!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Bunny, Apr 27, 2012.

  1. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    Gah!! difficult child was in rare form this morning. Not really nasty or defiant, just really annoying, if you know what I mean. He left for the bus stop and I went upstairs to make my bed and fold laundry, and I was telling husband what difficult child had been doing (he had been in the shower). Keep in mind that since we called the police a couple of weeks ago the psychiatrist had us increase his medications and he has an appointment with him on Monday morning. So, I ask husband if he is going to meet me at the appointment (the doctor is literally around the corner from where he works) and he said that he would, which is good because I'm sure that the doctor is going to want his perspective. Then I ask him how he thinks difficult child has been doing since the medication increase. Does he seen any difference? Anything that he thinks needs to be brought up when we see the doctor on Monday? His answer was, "I don't know. I'm not paying attention."


    Not paying attention?? Seriously??

    It's one of those mornings where I really just want to say to him, "How FREAKIN' stupid can you be???"

    Vent over. You can all go back to your knitting now.
  2. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    Don't you just love when they are like this? It gives you the feeling like "do I have to be the only one doing everything?" I also feel like, at times I want another opinion to help validate what I may or may not being seeing for myself.
  3. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    Sadly, this sounds pretty familiar when it comes to most of the Dads I know (including husband!).

    As long as Mom is around to handle the brunt of it - Dad can "check out" and do his own thing.


  4. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    You are much kinder than I am. I would have stabbed him with-the knitting needles. :)

    Not paying attention? Arrrgh.
  5. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    Seriously, I wanted to throttle him, but I knew that it would get me no where. Not paying attention? Is he kidding me? I had the police here two weeks ago and he's not paying attention?

    I told him that he had better start because I'm sure the psychiatrist is going to ask him for an opinion and he needs to give one.
  6. shellyd67

    shellyd67 Active Member

    Oh geeze Bunny next time husband is in the shower pour ice cold water on him or maybe flush the toilet on him! He'll be sure to pay attention then !! LOL

    Your signature looks almost identical to mine ...

    I am just so grateful I found all of you who can fully understand ...
  7. helpangel

    helpangel Active Member

    back when my X was still around I use to say "if I had a tv remote with-breasts to put in his hands I could put a cooler with beer & sandwiches next to him and sneek out for the whole weekend." Doubt he would have noticed me gone.

    Men can be so ignorant at times, serve his dinner to him frozen tonight and tell him you weren't paying attention when time to turn oven on. Or if want to go out to dinner burn it black & fill the house with smoke because didn't notice when timer went off. LOL
  8. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    I can hear the "vent" over the background noise of life but... things here are certainly NOT quiet enough for me to even START knitting.

    Maybe... in another 15 years or so?
  9. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    Actually, helpangel, you're not far off. I am making dinner, but I'm making something that he really doesn't like to eat. Tough patooties!! He's not going to pay attention to his son's behaviors and mood swings? I'm not going to pay attention to what he likes to eat! I know it's childish, and I'm really not acting much better than difficult child, but he just makes me so angry sometimes. Not paying attention. DOPE!!
  10. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Vent away! You deserve to when he answers like that! Hugs.
  11. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Bunny, STOP THAT. Stop talking about yourself that way. You are NOT acting like a difficult child. You are giving an adult difficult child a MUCH NEEDED wakeup call. It will likely take more than 1 meal he hates, and I know you can get creative if you put your mind to it. Why not turn his whites pink or purple because you 'forgot'? And if he is allergic to cat hair, forget that and bring home some cat hair to put on his pillow.

    You husband will continue to not notice as long as you ALLOW this to continue. My husband did it for quite a while. He is FREAKING because I have not packed up the house. I will not either. I will pack SOME things, the ones I want. The rest? He was warned on the last 2 moves that his free rides were GONE. I asked him to pack his clothes and ONE closet he filled with sports stuff and computer junk and he refused. I had to do it at the last minute after I packed EVERYTHING else. He honestly remembers but doesn't think that I do. He tried to bully J into packing his stuff and she was told that if she did I would make her life a living Hades for the summer. So she is letting him deal with the stress and he is NOT allowed to take it out on her - he got that warning earlier. He really does NOT watn me to get ugly with him. He fears me just a little because he knows that he went too far with the last moves. So now? We will see if/what he loses due to his choices.

    Don't allow this to continue. This isn't like being late. This is ignoring something very serious to your son's entire future. Male difficult children esp need a strong male to pay attention and not tolerate the BS but our dhs want to be the good guy as long as we let them. It isn't fun, but they CAN learn to live up to their RESPONSIBILITIES as the fathers of difficult children if we are willing to make them really uncomfortable.