Xmas...I swear why do I try?

amazeofgrace

A maze of Grace - that about sums it up
seeing some Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) on Billie's part... would love to see Super Nanny take her on!
 

AnnieO

Shooting from the Hip
I have known some women who were so jealous and so controlling that they tried their best to keep their husband from having a relationship with his own family, to keep him all to herself. They see it as a threat, that it divides his loyalty. There may be men who do this too but I've never seen it. And I've known plenty of men who allow themselves to be abused in this manner, they toe the line and put up with almost anything because she threatens him with the loss of the children if he doesn't. This works for a while but not forever and eventually it will blow up in their faces.


This is exactly what I am talking about.

Janet - has Billie always been like this? Or is this something new?
 

donna723

Well-Known Member
... and her tactics are working! She's already made it so unpleasant for you that you don't want to spend holidays with them anymore. You are trying so hard to have a tolerable civil relationship with her and to be a grandparent to those kids, and she's fighting it every step of the way! And when she makes it so horrible for you to be around your own son and grandchildren that you no longer see them ... she WINS!

I don't know if mental illness on her part or if she's just jealous, controlling, hateful and just plain evil!
 

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
She is controlling, manipulative and competitive. I also see signs of spousal abuse. Have since her and Jamie met.

Its a weird relationship. She only has her bio-dad still alive. Well...that and Butch who is her step-dad and he has been living in their basement for about a year now. She pretty much hated him from the time he married her mom but began to tolerate him when she became an adult. Her bio-dad lives about 3 hours from her and she only sees him about 2 or 3 times a year. She goes to him, he never comes to see her except the day she had Hailie. He didnt even come for Mikey's birth. I dont know if he came for her mom's funeral because I was in the hospital myself then and wasnt able to go.

She has always tried to compete/compare Keyana with Hailie. I have no idea why. They are two totally different kids. She is jealous as all get out that Jamie adores Keyana and tells everyone how beautiful she is and if he goes anywhere with her and Hailie he calls them "his girls." He will tell everyone he has two of the most beautiful girls in the world. I think that is wonderful of him. Why is it wrong for Jamie to love his niece?

Billie actually got pregnant after she saw Jamie holding Keyana for the first time. She had been adamant about not wanting kids for a few more years but then Cory had Keyana and they came to visit and Jamie fell in love with her so Billie just had to get pregnant. I mean look at the age gap...13 months exactly. They came to see her when she was 6 weeks old.

But then of course, Billie will point out to everyone that Keyana looks "mixed race." Oh no she doesnt. She is a blond-haired, blue eyed girl with curly hair who happens to tan easily. Hailie is just ultra white...so white you can almost see her veins. She has that straight hair that will never hold a curl. Its the same color though. Their eyes are the same color too.

She constantly wants Hailie to be the same size as Keyana, do the same things as Keyana, be exactly the same as Keyana. If Keyana is potty trained...then Hailie is...never mind they are a year apart and its absurd to think that Hailie can do things a year younger than Keyana. She has pushed Hailie so hard on the potty training. Keyana trained easily at two. Very easily but it was probably because she was in day care and in both our home and in her grandma Linda's home and we all did it at one time. One fell swoop and diapers disappeared. She just accepted it and wanted to please us all. She was just ready. Very few accidents.

Well because it happened that way for Keyana, it had to happen that way for Hailie. Well, Hailie simply wasnt ready plus they still used pull ups half the time. Like in the car. We didnt do that. We stopped if Keyana had to pee. We didnt do the...well, its too much bother, just use the pull up right now thing. We all made many a wild dash for bathrooms. I think I saw the inside of every bathroom on 95...lol. Hailie still isnt completely day trained. She still has accidents. Keyana doesnt unless she is sick with the stomach flu and then she is miserably embarrassed. Keyana is pretty much night trained. Once in a blue moon she has an accident and she feels horrible about it. She changes all her clothes and bedding. Pretty big for a 4 year old.

Billie will swear Hailie does the same thing but she also puts Hailie down to sleep with 2 sippy cups which completely negates night time dryness. I dont allow Keyana a drink at night. Billie tries to override my decision on that every time. Keyana knows the rule. She will look at me as Billie is trying to give her a sippy cup and I keep telling her, Keyana doesnt drink sippy cups anymore...anywhere. She is too old for sippy cups. Actually all she drinks from is sports bottles now. Billie however wants to override me and give her a sippy cup and tries to put a pull up on her! NO freaking way! She hasnt worn a pull up since last June...lol.

She does scream and throw things at Jamie. She has broken I cant even tell you how many cell phones and laptops. They have the insurance on them and get them fixed or replaced. They just bought this big screen TV and I have no doubt something will get tossed at it and it will get broken. Im just waiting for the call. They have no sense. They leave the expensive electronics...dvd player, xbox, dish box, etc sitting on the floor under the big screen TV right where the kids can touch them and push the buttons. And break them. Mikey pushes the buttons all the time. I have no idea why they dont just get a small entertainment center with a door on it that they can close so the kids cant get at the boxes. Or put them up on top of them. But no...that makes too much sense.

The people on either side of them have started complaining about the noise but this has made them mad. I dont blame these people. Now they are mad because they can hear the people on one side of them when this womans child is practicing her piano. Im sorry but they have no room to complain. A bit of piano next to what Im sure these people hear constantly is nothing. Im sure if it keeps up they will have CPS called in. The constant screaming at the kids is enough to get CPS going up there. Billie seriously needs some parenting classes. And this is the girl who kept telling me before she got pregnant that she was going to be such a good mother because she had been a nanny. Yeah right.
 

Hound dog

Nana's are Beautiful
Wow. I forgot the nanny part. I feel sorry for any child she was nanny to.

I was going to add that I've seen a pattern of competition between Hallie and Keyana as well as far as Billie is concerned. Billie has to be the center of attention at all times. Keyanna pulled that attention away when Jamie fell head over heels for her. (and who wouldn't?) So Billie decided she had to keep up with the competition and have a child so that Jamie would re-focus his attention on both her (mostly her though) and the new baby. Then the competition between the 2 girls began because of course her daughter has to be better than Keyanna or Jamie might wind up likely Keyanna more. Foolishness, but that is what she's thinking.

Odd. As I was reading your post much of this behavior reminds me of the family dynamics of katie and family, enormous competition between all of them for attention, and all of them wind up pitted against each other. Only one I've ever seen receive any sort of affection is Evan. And even that is very brief.........and I can tell it's not genuine. Katie and mike yell and threaten and only follow through when they're enraged. sheesh, no wonder the kids never listen to them.

I'm surprised cps hasn't been called on Billie already.................as a neighbor I'd find it difficult to listen to that everyday. Lord knows I've made more than my fair share of calls for stuff like that.
 

AnnieO

Shooting from the Hip
As horrible as this might sound, it could be for the best if CPS is called.

In an abusive situation, the abused person can find it very hard to leave... Because they've been stomped on so much, they don't think they're worthy of better, and also... That they deserve the abuse.

husband is just now finally NOT apologizing to me when he does something like answer the phone. He and I have been together for over 7 years.

Hugs, sweetheart... It's hard.
 
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