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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 28039" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>We used to find that if difficult child 3 had anything go wrong for him early in his day (or at any time in his day, come to think of it) then his day would be bad from then on. He felt that it set the mood for the day and it wasn't worth fighting the bad day. In vain we would try to get him to see that the day could start again from that point, bad stuff wasn't connected, but the trouble is that this belief of his was self-fulfilling - if he THOUGHT he was in for a bad day, he generally was. In this he is very like the boy in "Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time" by Mark Haddon.</p><p></p><p>What has helped us - "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. The diagnosis doesn't matter, so much as simply having an understanding of what is happening for the child, in their head. The book helped a lot with that as well as showing us what to do next. difficult child 3 no longer allows one bad incident to define his day, although we still have some issues there to work on. He's getting there, though. All we can do for now with his anxiety, is to acknowledge it and support him, rather than try to jolly him out of it or discipline him for it (which is what the schools used to do).</p><p></p><p>This book is not a cure. It simply helps make it easier for you and the child. It also is a system that can be used for the PCs in the family, to their advantage.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 28039, member: 1991"] We used to find that if difficult child 3 had anything go wrong for him early in his day (or at any time in his day, come to think of it) then his day would be bad from then on. He felt that it set the mood for the day and it wasn't worth fighting the bad day. In vain we would try to get him to see that the day could start again from that point, bad stuff wasn't connected, but the trouble is that this belief of his was self-fulfilling - if he THOUGHT he was in for a bad day, he generally was. In this he is very like the boy in "Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time" by Mark Haddon. What has helped us - "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. The diagnosis doesn't matter, so much as simply having an understanding of what is happening for the child, in their head. The book helped a lot with that as well as showing us what to do next. difficult child 3 no longer allows one bad incident to define his day, although we still have some issues there to work on. He's getting there, though. All we can do for now with his anxiety, is to acknowledge it and support him, rather than try to jolly him out of it or discipline him for it (which is what the schools used to do). This book is not a cure. It simply helps make it easier for you and the child. It also is a system that can be used for the PCs in the family, to their advantage. Marg [/QUOTE]
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