My son was released from the hospital on Wednesday and after stopping by here to pick up a few things got a ride from his friend to the sober living home he was accepted to. It was a little tense and I felt like I was walking on eggshells, but nothing negative of any consequence happened, except one thing which I didn't know until after the fact that I will mention in a subsequent paragraph.
He started his new job yesterday. Since the restaurant is near our house he came by to say hi and have a cup of coffee before work. Came back after he got off and said it was a good first day. He asked me to do a couple of things for him that I had already said no to, and when I said no again he got a little agitated and irritated. I told him I wasn't going to argue or debate and I shut up. He continued talking, and in the middle of his tirade (for lack of a better word) he stopped and acknowledged that he gets agitated easily and comes off sounding like a total jerk, and that he needed to more carefully watch his body language and tone of voice when communicating with others. We then moved on to other, more pleasant topics of conversation.
Also, the night before he had gone into the 2nd bedroom, which used to be his and is now basically a storage room where he has been keeping his belongings. He had to grab a few things he needed to take to the recovery home. Later that night my husband went in there to look for one of our cats and find a place to stash the new futon we just got, which is still boxed and unassembled, until we could get around to putting it together. He nearly lost it and called me in. I was shocked to see the condition of the room. It looked like a tornado had blown through leaving nothing untouched. My husband wanted to bag up all my son's stuff and set it out by the curb but I talked him out of it and helped him calm down.
So yesterday I had decided I wouldn't mention the bedroom to my son before he had to go to work. I didn't want to get into a confrontation that would likely get both of us upset and then he would have blamed me if he screwed up on his first day. But I planned to bring it up to him when he came back after work. When he got here after his shift ended, he went to the room to get something, and when he came out he said he would straighten up the room and organize and pack his things on his first day off (I had not said anything yet about the room). That was a surprise that he acknowledged it with no prompting from me. I later asked my husband if he was okay waiting for him to get a day off to clean the room, and he said that since my son had suggested it voluntarily, he was fine waiting.
His friend came by to park his car and then the two of them walked to a nearby meeting, AA or NA I'm not sure which. They came back after the meeting, hung out for a few, and then left to take my son back to his recovery home.
I haven't seen him today but I know he had to work at 5 and I'm assuming no news is good news. How long this positive behavior and self-awareness on my son's part will last is anyone's guess. But one day at a time, baby. I'm fine with taking good days for what they are and not worrying about bad days until they happen. It's way better than concocting all sorts of "what if" stories in my head of things that could possibly but might not ever happen. That can make you crazy.
He started his new job yesterday. Since the restaurant is near our house he came by to say hi and have a cup of coffee before work. Came back after he got off and said it was a good first day. He asked me to do a couple of things for him that I had already said no to, and when I said no again he got a little agitated and irritated. I told him I wasn't going to argue or debate and I shut up. He continued talking, and in the middle of his tirade (for lack of a better word) he stopped and acknowledged that he gets agitated easily and comes off sounding like a total jerk, and that he needed to more carefully watch his body language and tone of voice when communicating with others. We then moved on to other, more pleasant topics of conversation.
Also, the night before he had gone into the 2nd bedroom, which used to be his and is now basically a storage room where he has been keeping his belongings. He had to grab a few things he needed to take to the recovery home. Later that night my husband went in there to look for one of our cats and find a place to stash the new futon we just got, which is still boxed and unassembled, until we could get around to putting it together. He nearly lost it and called me in. I was shocked to see the condition of the room. It looked like a tornado had blown through leaving nothing untouched. My husband wanted to bag up all my son's stuff and set it out by the curb but I talked him out of it and helped him calm down.
So yesterday I had decided I wouldn't mention the bedroom to my son before he had to go to work. I didn't want to get into a confrontation that would likely get both of us upset and then he would have blamed me if he screwed up on his first day. But I planned to bring it up to him when he came back after work. When he got here after his shift ended, he went to the room to get something, and when he came out he said he would straighten up the room and organize and pack his things on his first day off (I had not said anything yet about the room). That was a surprise that he acknowledged it with no prompting from me. I later asked my husband if he was okay waiting for him to get a day off to clean the room, and he said that since my son had suggested it voluntarily, he was fine waiting.
His friend came by to park his car and then the two of them walked to a nearby meeting, AA or NA I'm not sure which. They came back after the meeting, hung out for a few, and then left to take my son back to his recovery home.
I haven't seen him today but I know he had to work at 5 and I'm assuming no news is good news. How long this positive behavior and self-awareness on my son's part will last is anyone's guess. But one day at a time, baby. I'm fine with taking good days for what they are and not worrying about bad days until they happen. It's way better than concocting all sorts of "what if" stories in my head of things that could possibly but might not ever happen. That can make you crazy.
