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Parent Emeritus
Yet another meeting with Borderline (BPD) team
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<blockquote data-quote="Simion" data-source="post: 762327" data-attributes="member: 29037"><p>Mirabelle. I only just now saw your response. I had to take a time out for myself from all of this. Living with an adult child who has been ill for years is exhausting. I need time alone where everything isn’t about mental illness & all the crap one endures along the way to try & get services for their child. [ adult or pre adult ]</p><p> My heart aches for you & your husband. It is devastating to be offered state services that you honestly believe will help your child & then learn the reality of what a lie most of it is. Your situation with social services doesn’t shock me at all. Other people will say “ that can’t be. “ It can , it is & will continue to be this way if people remain silent. I have made a personal vow to never remain silent to the suffering or injustice of another human being. Silence to me is akin to being complicate with those who oppress & harm innocent people. My life experience has taught me how deceitful & unjust people & institutions can be. The higher the power the greater the deceit & injustice. Social service agencies have a gold star rating in this category. </p><p> I hear your husbands concern of being blackballed if he were to file a complaint. The other side to that coin is becoming the parent they learn not to f### with. I will tell you honestly filing a complaint is about as easy as getting services. These state agencies have all there rules & regulations as to how to go about it. Personally I feel a # 1 requirement for being a state agency investigator is to be a narcissist. They are there not for you but for the agency. The one agency that I found to be most helpful is the Disability Law Center in the state that I live. These are people dedicated to helping the people.</p><p> My personal experience has not been great in filing complaints by any means. Six or seven out of ten, resulting in some form of action taken. Two major victories. One which lead to immediate housing for my adult child & the other an investigation into agencies financial management. For me each filing of a complaint of failure to provide said services that a person is entitled to under the law is a win in itself. It’s a paper trail, a history that may one day lead to another family’s to their personal victory.</p><p> This is my child, no matter how mean, ugly & heartbreaking her mental illness is, the bottom line is she didn’t ask for this. I’m not about the three C’s. Granted I didn’t cause it, I can’t control it to cure it. As a mother I can act on my conscience to not fail to do what I can to give my daughter a shot at life. If my child had cancer, would I tolerate the crap that’s handed to parents whose children have mental illness. Would I so casually 3 C’s my way with cancer ? No! Would I march straight into hell & go toe to toe with Satan himself to save my child? Without hesitation.</p><p>Mirabelle I wish you & your family all the best. Your an amazing wife & step mother to this young man. There are many biological parents who wash there hands of these kids but not you. You are a gift to this family.</p><p> I will close this not with an apology for length but with a tale of caution. If we don’t advocate & fight for our children then we must know we leave them to death. I know too many broken parents who used “ tough love “ and regret it today as their children have committed suicide, been murdered or overdosed. If you have ever heard a parent wail & watched as they fall to their knees upon hearing their child is dead you would do anything to hold these agencies accountable.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Simion, post: 762327, member: 29037"] Mirabelle. I only just now saw your response. I had to take a time out for myself from all of this. Living with an adult child who has been ill for years is exhausting. I need time alone where everything isn’t about mental illness & all the crap one endures along the way to try & get services for their child. [ adult or pre adult ] My heart aches for you & your husband. It is devastating to be offered state services that you honestly believe will help your child & then learn the reality of what a lie most of it is. Your situation with social services doesn’t shock me at all. Other people will say “ that can’t be. “ It can , it is & will continue to be this way if people remain silent. I have made a personal vow to never remain silent to the suffering or injustice of another human being. Silence to me is akin to being complicate with those who oppress & harm innocent people. My life experience has taught me how deceitful & unjust people & institutions can be. The higher the power the greater the deceit & injustice. Social service agencies have a gold star rating in this category. I hear your husbands concern of being blackballed if he were to file a complaint. The other side to that coin is becoming the parent they learn not to f### with. I will tell you honestly filing a complaint is about as easy as getting services. These state agencies have all there rules & regulations as to how to go about it. Personally I feel a # 1 requirement for being a state agency investigator is to be a narcissist. They are there not for you but for the agency. The one agency that I found to be most helpful is the Disability Law Center in the state that I live. These are people dedicated to helping the people. My personal experience has not been great in filing complaints by any means. Six or seven out of ten, resulting in some form of action taken. Two major victories. One which lead to immediate housing for my adult child & the other an investigation into agencies financial management. For me each filing of a complaint of failure to provide said services that a person is entitled to under the law is a win in itself. It’s a paper trail, a history that may one day lead to another family’s to their personal victory. This is my child, no matter how mean, ugly & heartbreaking her mental illness is, the bottom line is she didn’t ask for this. I’m not about the three C’s. Granted I didn’t cause it, I can’t control it to cure it. As a mother I can act on my conscience to not fail to do what I can to give my daughter a shot at life. If my child had cancer, would I tolerate the crap that’s handed to parents whose children have mental illness. Would I so casually 3 C’s my way with cancer ? No! Would I march straight into hell & go toe to toe with Satan himself to save my child? Without hesitation. Mirabelle I wish you & your family all the best. Your an amazing wife & step mother to this young man. There are many biological parents who wash there hands of these kids but not you. You are a gift to this family. I will close this not with an apology for length but with a tale of caution. If we don’t advocate & fight for our children then we must know we leave them to death. I know too many broken parents who used “ tough love “ and regret it today as their children have committed suicide, been murdered or overdosed. If you have ever heard a parent wail & watched as they fall to their knees upon hearing their child is dead you would do anything to hold these agencies accountable. [/QUOTE]
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Yet another meeting with Borderline (BPD) team
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