You all can't relate..but I need to vent!

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by DDD, Sep 3, 2009.

  1. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    The vent will be short because it is not a common problem My husband and I are aging. husband will be 77 next month. We both work and have been active in volunteer work plus having kids in the house...that makes us a little bit unusual.

    This week TWO times my husband has done or said something to others that he should not have said. The first instance had to do with business. husband really can't stand this one multi-location company since they treated him unfairly almost TEN years ago. They ordered special parts from us and husband delivered them. :redface: Then he told them he could leave the product with-o getting a check. OMG! He only did that to retaliate and I received a call from their manager within the hour. :confused: I didn't know what to say except "I'm sorry for the misunderstanding and you will receive the parts within the hour."

    THEN at a big breakfast meeting this morning he shared info at the table with the new President of a huge organization. The info he shared was distributed to six people on a special committee. He is not one of those people...I am. OMG! He was critical of the prior President AND he asked financial questions.

    I think "old age" is going to be a witch around here. There's no way you can go around calling people and apologizing for your husband's inappropriate input. I'm not good at stiflying embarrassment. :redface: Yes, I'm stifyling everywhere but here. Yikes. DDD
  2. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    That would definitely have me worried, too! Do you think it's matter of "I'm 77 so I no longer going to mind my Ps and Qs and I am going to say anything I want!"...or do you fear that it could be early stages of Alzheimers or something like that?
  3. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    You might consider that husband has had small strokes or having the beginnings of dementia.
    Not to scare you but at 77, parts start to wear out. If behavior is very different than normal I would have his GP give him the once over.
  4. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I don't know if it is early onset dementia but I fear so. He is and always has been a pretty quiet guy. He has changed a bit. on the other hand he does take excellent care of his health and just a few months ago finished off all the annual tests. I'd be hardpressed to get him to go visit anyone for awhile.

    We have all the adult kids and many grandchildren coming for the Canoe event. It will be interesting to see if any of them notice anything. Time will tell. Meanwhile, I'm vulnerable as there is no corrective action that can be taken and I still have to work etc. Thanks for caring. DDD
  5. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Will he go for a physical exam? Maybe you can give the doctor a head's up...
  6. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    He is very scheduled when it comes to his health care and it will be six months before he returns to the MD. We do not use the Doctors in our community so his appts. are made in advance. The last time he went to Mayo I "tried" to suggest that he discuss "the aging process" :( but it didn't fly.

    Thanks for the input and the caring. After all the children are here I will figure out what to do. Meanwhile.........I'm stressed. DDD
  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    DDD, it is also very possible that he has just got to the point that, oh let me see how Tonys grandmother put it, "I am old enough that I will say what I want to say and no one is going to tell me what I want to say. They can just live with it!"

    That woman was a hoot! She didnt give a rats patootie if she offended the President. She would have told him the same thing she told anyone. She was very outspoken and it landed her in a nursing home at the end because she was also very prejudiced and a AA social worker came to check on her when she was 90 and she refused to speak to the woman. (She was full blooded Indian) The social worker assumed this meant she couldnt speak and must have been ill. Ha! SW dragged her to the hospital and she never came back home. I think being oppositional and defiant runs in our
  8. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    I'm so sorry.
    I agree with- Fran...time for a check up for your husband.
    ALSO, many doctors are NOT up on this and are resistent to it all, but the real truth is that almost everyone over 50 needs additional Vitamin B12.
    If depression/anxiety/stress is an issue, it is a good idea to take a B50 tablet or a B Complex as well.
    I CAN'T tell you how much this combination has helped me, husband and several of my friends.
    The Methyl. (I'm abbreviating here) type of B12 is considered the best. Usually, you have to go to a health food store to get it. Whole Foods has it. has it.
    You can NOT take too much B12, so don't worry about overdose.
    Many of my friends take 3000 mcg or more.
    My neighbor's husband was just diagnosis'd with dementia (he is older than your hubby) and recently he was in the hospital. While there, they said he was B12 deficient. This is SCARY, 'cause many nutritionist think our official numbers for B12 are really technically toooo low. So, his must have been pathetic.
    Take this is in addition to what is an a multivitamin...also a good idea to take.
    There are many good multis, by the way. One of the more popular ones is Centrum Silver.
    If stomach problems are an issue, you can take these things at night.
    If stomach problems are a huge issue, you can take them at night, but see the doctor asap. In the mean time, husband could take one of those over the counter tummy medications (small amount) with- his vitamins.
    Another vitamin to consider supplementing is it. Lots of thought that it helps with- a variety of things and that we are more deficient in this than we realized. Take a small amount in the summer and a larger dose the rest of the year.
    Hang in there....sounds a little rough right now.
    by the way, I thought what you said was absolutely perfect.
    This too shall pass.
    Lasted edited by : Sep 4, 2009
  9. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I didn't know they had named a vitamin after me! ;) D3 has a nice ring to it. I'll check the B's. I just asked husband and he takes "a D" and a "multiple" every day. No B's. Thanks for caring. DDD (a/k/a D3) :D
  10. Star*

    Star* call 911


    I'm not EVEN trying to make you feel good - (ok I am in a way) but husband is only 52 and I swear that is my life every day. When we were at the hospital recently with his back problems he told the doctor - (instead of surgcial procedure - "They cut meat out of my back") I nearly passed out on the floor. His brain doesn't click all the time from the methadone for pain management - so I can relate and it's been a ride & 1/2 every day.

    Sending hugs. ;) - Cut out the meat - (I thought OMG...and the doctor never even cracked a smile) :ashamed:
  11. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    Tooooo funny about the D3.

    Okay, now check into the B's!
    Honestly, I have told husband and other friends to take a B50 tablet and a little extra B12 on top of it and they have reported back to me clearer thinking and more energy. in my humble opinion, it worth a try.
  12. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Hi DDD,
    Have you asked husband what he was thinking? or told him you didn't think that behavior was "like him"? I don't know if he's just speaking without thinking first or if there's something more going on but I'm thinking of you this morning and wanted you to know.

    I hope the weekend was "uneventful" with easy child/difficult child.
    My oldest difficult child broke up with his girlfriend Friday night and was at a local bar (with another gal from what I understand)...but, then by Yesterday had made up with his girlfriend.
    It never ends around here...Oh and the same back and forth from young difficult child too. But now they're back together again too.

  13. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    This is a sick way. Ready?

    I brought up B12 at the dinner table and asked husband and easy child/difficult child if they would take it with me to see if it made us feel better. The both agreed!
    :D husband was headed out to shop and said I'll buy a bottle for you. Thanks

    When he handed it to was B1. :redface: OMG! How funny. DDD
  14. Nomad

    Nomad Guest


    It might be good to get two (2) different products (sorry about the complications here).



    B Complex

    The reason is that B Complex (or a B50 Tablet/s) has ALL the B's and they are good for so many different things. B6 in particular is good for anxiety and depression. However, it isn't a good idea to take this in very high dosages. Moderation is probably best. The other B's are said to help with- headache prevention, cholesterol levels, heart disease and many other things.

    B12 is another very good one... and like I mentioned, those close to or over 50, often do not have enough of this in their bodies. You can take a ton of this...really almost can't over dose.

    I take BOTH a B Complex and a B12 tablet. Two different pills for my B Products. I take them every day along with my multi, D3 and other things. However, these four things I consider vital and those who I have suggested do this have reported back really nice thinking of a close friend right now...has more energy than she has had in years.

    You can read fun and informative reviews at Also, they are a very good company in terms of ordering if you don't have a good health food store in your area.

    Good luck!