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You guys told me-- D C always come back--Please advise
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 658494" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>I agree with Jabber, reply "I love you too" and that's all. Don't go into "there's no money".</p><p></p><p>I love my son dearly but do not want him in my life. When I do communicate with him I keep it very simple and very brief. I have learned to not jump to any assumptions about what he might ask or be thinking. I stand firm in my resolve that IF he were to ask for money I would simply tell him no and not offer any explanation. When we try to explain "why" we can't do something for them it shows to them we feel guilty. If my son were to ask why I would simply say "I don't have any money for you".</p><p></p><p>I know how your stomach must be in a knot getting that text but remember, it's just a text. You are not obligated to do anything for him if you don't want to.</p><p></p><p>For me, if my Difficult Child were to show up on my doorstep I would not open the door, I would go out through the garage and I would have my phone ready to dial 911. I would ask my son what are you doing here and take it from there. I would stand firm that he is not coming in the house and I would not give him any money. I don't like that scenario but I know that's what I would have to do as I do not trust him. I will do what I have to do in order to stay safe.</p><p></p><p>Most of all don't let your emotions get the best of you.</p><p></p><p>((HUGS)) to you!!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 658494, member: 18516"] I agree with Jabber, reply "I love you too" and that's all. Don't go into "there's no money". I love my son dearly but do not want him in my life. When I do communicate with him I keep it very simple and very brief. I have learned to not jump to any assumptions about what he might ask or be thinking. I stand firm in my resolve that IF he were to ask for money I would simply tell him no and not offer any explanation. When we try to explain "why" we can't do something for them it shows to them we feel guilty. If my son were to ask why I would simply say "I don't have any money for you". I know how your stomach must be in a knot getting that text but remember, it's just a text. You are not obligated to do anything for him if you don't want to. For me, if my Difficult Child were to show up on my doorstep I would not open the door, I would go out through the garage and I would have my phone ready to dial 911. I would ask my son what are you doing here and take it from there. I would stand firm that he is not coming in the house and I would not give him any money. I don't like that scenario but I know that's what I would have to do as I do not trust him. I will do what I have to do in order to stay safe. Most of all don't let your emotions get the best of you. ((HUGS)) to you!!!! [/QUOTE]
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You guys told me-- D C always come back--Please advise
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