Big tiff with wife this morning. Background: difficult child had a DUI in 2006. She paid the fine and waited out the suspension, but before you can get your license back you have to pay another $250 fee of some kind. Getting her license back is something that difficult child feels she needs to do as part of learning independence. Fair enough, and if she were to do it herself, I'd be first in line to cheer for her. Back to the present. wife received some money and said she wants to pay the fee for difficult child. I told her I am against it. Back and forth, then wife said, "You just hate her so much that you can't stand it for people to do something for her!" WHAT!? I "hate" difficult child? Is that why she's living with us? Is that why I drive her to work and meetings every day? Is that why I didn't just walk 12 years ago? I thought we were on the same page. But as soon as wife has a little spare cash ("her money") and difficult child has a few months sobriety she forgets that every time we do things for difficult child, it holds her back from learning to do for herself. She begged me to be the strong one with difficult child while everything was at its worst but now it's "you hate her." She wasn't speaking to me anymore when she dropped me at the train station. I've been seething all day. The first version of this post was the length of War and Peace before I chopped it down (I hope it makes sense). I've accomplished next to nothing and my stomach is doing flips. I don't even want to know what my blood pressure is. I am so not looking forward to going home.