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General Parenting
You know parenting difficult child's has taken it's toll when.
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<blockquote data-quote="pepperidge" data-source="post: 61445" data-attributes="member: 2322"><p>Alison,</p><p></p><p>First of all I think you got some great advice from running to shelter about how to deal with it at work.</p><p></p><p>But listen, your situation is not the run of the mill! I reread your sig--you've got a child that has been in the phsop 3 times? You've got really really difficult kids, and it is almost a guarantee that things will not go well in public. Please give yourself a break!</p><p></p><p>If you had a colleague with a really physically ill child, the most you would expect of that colleague is that she would be able to comparmentalize--that she do her work at work, and leave all the drama for home, right? You're the same. That's all anyone should expect of you. </p><p></p><p>If you want to say something to your colleagues, just tell them that your children have some major neurological issues that make parenting very difficult, and leave it at that. The poster who said she has to work hard not to let herself feel embarassed by her children said it all. There are times when we all want to have a little set of cards to hand it to strangers that say "my child is acting this way because he is mentally ill and I am doing the best I can, so stop looking at me that way and help!" or something to that effect.</p><p></p><p>The stress of dealing with two difficult children and a high powered job is incredible. I know, got the t-shirt, ultimately it was too difficult an act to manage. </p><p></p><p>Please talk to your child's therapist. And if the tools she is giving you aren't getting anywhere with your kids, look for someone who is experienced with dealing with serious mental illness issues. And a good psychiatrist wouldn't hurt either...</p><p></p><p>From my experience is it really hard to be competent at work, and feel like a complete failure at home when your children don't/can't behave and you feel you aren't getting the competent help you need from the medical profession. Give yourself a break, you are in a really difficult situation. If you are managing to do well at your job with all that is going on, you are doing a superhuman effort.</p><p></p><p>Anyway, I am not expressing myself very well, just want to tell you not to beat yourself up too badly. You are in it for the long haul.</p><p></p><p>hugs. it will be better.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="pepperidge, post: 61445, member: 2322"] Alison, First of all I think you got some great advice from running to shelter about how to deal with it at work. But listen, your situation is not the run of the mill! I reread your sig--you've got a child that has been in the phsop 3 times? You've got really really difficult kids, and it is almost a guarantee that things will not go well in public. Please give yourself a break! If you had a colleague with a really physically ill child, the most you would expect of that colleague is that she would be able to comparmentalize--that she do her work at work, and leave all the drama for home, right? You're the same. That's all anyone should expect of you. If you want to say something to your colleagues, just tell them that your children have some major neurological issues that make parenting very difficult, and leave it at that. The poster who said she has to work hard not to let herself feel embarassed by her children said it all. There are times when we all want to have a little set of cards to hand it to strangers that say "my child is acting this way because he is mentally ill and I am doing the best I can, so stop looking at me that way and help!" or something to that effect. The stress of dealing with two difficult children and a high powered job is incredible. I know, got the t-shirt, ultimately it was too difficult an act to manage. Please talk to your child's therapist. And if the tools she is giving you aren't getting anywhere with your kids, look for someone who is experienced with dealing with serious mental illness issues. And a good psychiatrist wouldn't hurt either... From my experience is it really hard to be competent at work, and feel like a complete failure at home when your children don't/can't behave and you feel you aren't getting the competent help you need from the medical profession. Give yourself a break, you are in a really difficult situation. If you are managing to do well at your job with all that is going on, you are doing a superhuman effort. Anyway, I am not expressing myself very well, just want to tell you not to beat yourself up too badly. You are in it for the long haul. hugs. it will be better. [/QUOTE]
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