You might be a man...

[house of cards]

You might be my man if I need to tell you to use nouns...as in "Did you get the thing from over there??"

 

[mstang67chic]

If you fill up the family vacuum cleaner's filter with so much construction debris and dust that it doesn't have any suction, and you put it away in the closet and get out the broom to finish the job, you're probably a man.

Drywall dust. Over an INCH of the stuff! Yep! Got me a new sweeper out of that little incident.

 

[mstang67chic]

...if the need to transport someone in your truck requires you to move tools, manuals, empty soda cans, and candy wrappers to make room...I HATE riding in Hubby's vehicle!

**nodding head** Yep. Rockstar cans, honey bun wrappers, empty ciggie packs, empty and partially empty bottles of Mountain Dew.

 

[fuddleduddledee]

You might be a man if you can't put your house on the market until you buy special rims and tires for the vehicle that's been parked in the driveway for the last couple of years, cause the house will have more curb appeal. Yep true story...

You might be a man if you leave a twenty foot by twenty foot area of grass uncut in the middle of the lawn one Summer because you want that natural look..........naturally weedy

You might be a man if you fix your wife's heater in her car and bypass the heater panel on the dashboard by putting in a special switch (without telling her) and she driving in a blithering snowstorm and the windshield starts freezing up so she can't see out it and she has to pull over to figure out there's a SPECIAL switch.

You might be a man if you hear your wife yelling from the 2nd floor and you come to investigate and she tells you she has tripped over a paint tray coming down a ladder and broken a bone in her foot..........and you turn around and head back downstairs thinking she was joking.

You might be a man if you can't figure out how to run a washing machine but you can repair one, you can't figure out how to use the stove but you can repair one.

 

[witzend]

See now, Fuddle, I was saving mine up for multiple posts!

 

[Andy]

if when your wife returns from a weekend of scrapbooking you actually believe she is glad the weekend is over and thinks she got scrapbooking out of her system.

 

[Steely]

If you get more satisfaction over urinating on a tree, than the in toliet.

 

[flutterbee]

If after being divorced for 13 years, you still need your ex-wife to tell you what to do....

 

[witzend]

If you hawk a big green loogey into the bathroom sink and don't wipe it out or rinse it down because you "thought it would just go down the drain", you're probably a man.

 

[tiredmommy]

You might be a man if...

You buy not one, but two, screen doors without measuring the opening.

You have to use your wife's tools because you can't find your tool box.

You take the garbage out to the garage and lay the bag next to the garbage cans.

You freak out at the prospect of taking your daughter to a dance recital dress recital.

Pizza with cheese, green peppers, and sausage is a well-balanced meal.

8" of snow in the driveway is a dusting.

 

[hearts and roses]

You might be a man if you fight your wife for the tv remote so you can watch a 'nice dry documentary' and pass out sprawled on the couch at 7:59 PM, thus taking up all the space and air so your wife has to go into the other room to watch her program.

You might be a man if you clod up the stairs in muddy dirt caked boots minutes after your wife just sweat a river vacuuming and mopping all the floors.

You might be a man if you lay your toothebrush down on the bathroom counter in a puddle of your own drool instead of placing it in the toothbursh holder RIGHT THERE.

You might be a man if you fail to notice the urgency in getting the AC's in the house even though your perimenopausal wife is sweating in places she never knew she could sweat! So much for LOVING the heat! Yeah right.

I have so many...but I will get mean and bitter...

 

[Abbey]

JoG...ummm...do you live in MY house? It sounds fairly familiar.

Abbey

 

[trinityroyal]

You might be a man if your wife marinates and seasons the meat, chops all the vegetables and makes 3 kinds of salad, rushes out to the store for more supplies, makes a pitcher full of cold lemonade, and you slap the meat on the grill, and then say "I made dinner. Gave the little woman a night off"

 

[Suz]

OMG< I am HOWLING over these. Is it any wonder that I am divorced since I remember so many?

Thanks for the pig snorts. LMAO

Suz

 

[mstang67chic]

...if you blow your nose on your hand and then LICK it.


Oh...wait. That's "You might be a difficult child if..." Sorry. My bad.

 

[Lothlorien]

You might be a man if you fight your wife for the tv remote so you can watch a 'nice dry documentary' and pass out sprawled on the couch at 7:59 PM, thus taking up all the space and air so your wife has to go into the other room to watch her program.

I have sooooo been there done that. My bed has a permanent indentation from my rear end sitting up in bed watching my shows, while husband is sprawled out on the floor "watching" (but his eyes are just resting) a documentary about the war machines of WWII, while snoring as the dog is licking his toes incessently

 

[Lothlorien]

Oh yeah, you might be a man if you have watched The Barret Jackson auctions at least 15 times in one month! (tearing my hair out, right now!)

 

[Abbey]

I have sooooo been there done that. My bed has a permanent indentation from my rear end sitting up in bed watching my shows, while husband is sprawled out on the floor "watching" (but his eyes are just resting) a documentary about the war machines of WWII, while snoring as the dog is licking his toes incessently

I SWEAR you guys are married to my man.

How about having the TV on in the bedroom...but no one is watching it? If husband had his way, he'd leave it on all night long, along with the lights.

Ok. Is this a gripe fest?

Abbey

 

[witzend]

I SWEAR you guys are married to my man.

How about having the TV on in the bedroom...but no one is watching it? If husband had his way, he'd leave it on all night long, along with the lights.

Ok. Is this a gripe fest?

Abbey

Maybe... or maybe there aren't any men here! Or at least, not any men who would dare to get in on this thread!

 

[KTMom91]

...if you are annoyed at your wife laughing hysterically over the responses on this thread, because you are trying to watch TV...and besides, what she's reading isn't funny anyway...