You might have a difficult child if...

[klmno]

any of this looks familiar...

Make sure you see the naked blond hair boy with white things all over him up close-

http://s314.photobucket.com/albums/ll417/windchime_bucket/?mediafilter=images

(scroll down on page of link to see photos- if I did it right)

Or if you already know these things...

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh', it's already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

11.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

12.) VCR's do not eject 'PB & J' sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

13.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

14.) The fire department in Austin , TX has a 5-minute response time.

15.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

16.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

17.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

 

[Andy]

The boy on the skateboard heading for the water might just be mine?

We were at the lake today - neighbor girl's floatie tube got swept too far out to get. So, difficult child and neighbor girl follow the shore to an area the foam tube was heading for - good thing I decided to follow (within yelling distance). difficult child at one point decided it had come in close enough for him to go out and get it. Problems: 1. Not anywhere near the life guarded area, 2. difficult child does not know how to swim and 3. I am not a good swimmer.

I made him wait until it came closer (alot closer, like really alot closer) to shore before walking to get it. He thinks he is safe from any unknown drop offs because his feet shuffle instead of step.

We definetly had a discussion on the way home about that one! Also talked about looking at all consequences before doing something because when you focus on one thing, you don't always see the possible dangers.

 

[Marguerite]

"8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it."

I don't know what Clorox is, but if it's anything like pool chlorine (sodium hypochlorite powder) it doesn't just give off lots of smoke, it also sends flames shooting up metres into the air even with only teaspoonful quantities.

husband showed me, as a safety exercise - DO NOT store your pool chlorine in the garage with the brake fluid, or with any other hydrocarbon. Instead, keep your pool chlorine safely stowed away on the opposite side of the property, away from any other chemicals.

And now you understand why I think husband has a fair bit of difficult child in him?

Marg

 

[klmno]

Marg, Clorox is a common brand of bleach here. (Regular bleach that is used in laundry or for cleaning if it is diluted.) I really did not know about this combo. of bleach and brake fluid.

I can see my difficult child doing what the naked blond boy did (not at this age, but younger)- my difficult child has done a lot of wierd stuff. And, he actually did flush bath toys down the toilet and it cost me $80 for a plumber to get them out.

 

[donna723]

Mine never throught of flushing the bath toys when he was little. He did try to flush the little plastic toilet paper spoolie thing. It got jammed in there halfway down and our plumbing was out of commission for days!

 

[Sara PA]

Main active ingrediant in Clorox is chlorine.

The boy on the skateboard would have been mine if we lived wherever the picture was taken. If my son were to discover the place is close to where he lives, he'll be asking me to send his skateboard. For that matter, if I had a street luge, I might try it. (I can't do downhill standing or sitting up but lying down is a whole nuther matter.)

I never thought about it before but now I want to put a PB&J in the VCR. Are you sure it won't eject? ....the vcr doesn't work, what have I got to lose?

 

[klmno]

It won't eject , Sara. difficult child tried PB&J's, nail clippers, and I hate to think what else when he was between 19 mos and 3 yo.

Sorry-

 

[Star*]

18.) You and 5 of the neighborhood kids can NOT make a wading pool out of moms hand dug koi pond even if you capture the koi and put them in a bucket.

19.) Koi do NOT need to be saved from freezing by putting hot water in the dogs tin washtub and bringing them in the house. Floating koi do not revive when put in the toilet.

20.) Matchbox cars, contrary to popular belief, can not be microwaved for 1 minute to remove the paint so you can use moms nail polish to paint a Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) scheme.

21.) Firemen do not like to show up at a house to save a Matchbox car.

22.) Spraying the dull linoleum in a kitchen with clear varnish will NOT restore the lustre and will NOT restore your mother's faith in your painting abilities even though you still have no microwave.

22.) Setting a Jaba toad, a 12' python, a tortise, and iguana, and a squirrel free does not qualify you as Marlin Perkins, but does make you popular with pre-teen neighbor kids who found the 4lb flattened toad on the road and didnt' know toads can have teeth.

23.) Shooting an arrow at your mother with an long bow, while she's filming you can be grounds for admittance into a psychiatric. hospital.

24.) Draino (from a neighbors trash can and not wrapped either) but, sprinkled onto aluminum foil causes a chemical reaction that mimics a matchbox car in a microwave. Neato.

25.) Baby rats running in a house will not be stopped by tossing a tennis shoe at their path for freedom - they will be killed.

26.) Mass quantities of Hubba Bubba in the most revolting flavor once leaving your mouth and globbed onto your hair to get a laugh will most definitely be cut out. As your mother thinks the smell of pnut butter is revolting.

27.) Don't sport a mohawk hair cut (from showing off with Hubba Bubba) at a 7 year old day care and not come home in a bad mood after being called every Native American Chief name (however incorrect) in the world. Not to mention the 30 or so gouges and cuts into the fidgity, ADHD childs head from a mother who never held a pair of clippers to human hair.

28.) DO NOT take your step fathers biker magazines with his friends pictures in them and hand them out to your buddies to see boobies - Dad takes a.) a very dim view of you getting into his locked cabinet when he's sleeping and b.) not being able to replace the magazines as they are eons old from his "younger" days.

29.) If you SHOOT a BB gun at a Direct TV dish - your parents WILL get endless, crappy reception and endless hours on the phone with idiot, 3rd world representatives to the point of divorce before marriage.

30.) If you take all the valve stem covers from all your neighbors cars, and your mom washes them YOU WILL BE OUT IN FORCE knocking on doors, apologizing and putting them ALL back on every car you took them from.



-I love #9.

 

[Star*]

http://video.stumbleupon.com/#p=8m516s0ys7

yah - they might be difficult child's.

thrill junkies.

 

[klmno]

23.) Shooting an arrow at your mother with an long bow, while she's filming you can be grounds for admittance into a psychiatric. hospital.

Please, tell me that Dude didn't do this. If he did, you handled it a lot better than I would have. I do appreciate the matchbox story though. (I guess that's because it wasn't my microwave.)

I can't believe that video!

 

[Hound dog]

31.) If you stick your whole hand down into one of those huge jar candles to light it, don't remove the hand once the lighter starts burning the flesh instead of the candle wick.

32.) If you stick a set of keys into an electrical socket, are shot literally across the room, key is melted in burned out socket, and you return to do it again.

33.) If you cook your little sister pancakes for breakfast without knowing that grease is placed into the cast iron skillet before the batter, therefore causing enough thick black smoke to set off every smoke detector in the house and scaring the living daylights out of your previously sleeping mother.

34.) If you continue to try to prove to people that you can so ride a bike, followed by riding said bike into the side of a car or a telephone pole.



Star I cracked up at the adult mag thing. Travis did the same thing, at age 5 because he thought it was funny. Needless to say, husband locked them up after that. So much for thinking he had them well hidden.

 

[Sara PA]

32) I know a guy who stuck something in an electrical socket as a kid. Knocked him on his butt, screaming. Dad asked "What did you do???" So the kid showed him.

 

[Andy]

35) Throwing landscape rocks at leaves to make them fall and while the doctor is putting in the stiches in the ER, proclaiming that it was a GREAT idea - one he was ready to return to when we got home! (wait, my difficult child must have been a difficult child years before I found out - this one should have been a clue).