You'll Be So PROUD of Me!!!

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Hound dog, Oct 13, 2010.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Thank God above husband evidently knew enough not to volunteer anything without clearing it with me first. Huge relief there.

    They got here about noonish. Came in like a whirlwind. And I though OMG!:surprise: Kayla and Alex literally threw themselves into my arms, and Evan was right behind them. They simply could not get enough hugs and kisses or telling me how much they loved me and Papa. Katie and her husband did thank us profusely. They didn't complain they had to be squished like sardines in a can for more than an hour after 10 hrs on a bus. They didn't ask for anything.


    Katie no more than got done with the greetings and I handed her the phone, the list of shelters, and the phone book. She spent hours on the phone today, literally. She called all shelters including those in surrounding counties and cincy and even dayton. Everyone is full. UGH Of course they are, my luck would simply not run any other way.:tongue: Ours will have a family room opening in about a month. You'd be proud. I didn't panic. I just opened the phone book again and looked up churches. Katie went through all the churches in the phone book.......and just when it really started to look bleak.......she found one that may help them with the weekly rent on the motel room..........which is 100.00 per wk vs 42.00 a day until they can get into the shelter.

    So keep those prayers coming!!! They seem to be working.

    They left just a short bit ago to go to the motel for the night. Yes, I stuck to my guns and flat out wouldn't even consider asking them to stay. (proud of myself)

    Nichole came down from dayton with aubrey and once the phone calls were done we spent the day visiting. I've never been hugged, kissed and told I was loved so much in just one day in my whole life. lol

    They are terribly thin, but at least this time they were clean. Katie did bring what she could along with them. (I was shocked) She did bring all the important paperwork. Shocked again. While we visited we made plans of who needed to be contacted and places they could try for work. We've made our list for tomorrow.

    Katie didn't waste money on food. Lunch consisted of much appreciated PB&J sandwiches and lemonaide. You'd have thought I gave those kids steak....... They had fun playing with Aubrey and I got to learn a bit more about this "shelter".

    Shelter was in a really really bad neighborhood. (I figured as much) They saw a man get shot who was just standing at the bus stop waiting for the bus. Katie tried to go somewhere once alone and some dude tried to pull her into his car.......scared the hades out of her as she nearly didn't get away from him. She was too scared to go anywhere alone after that.

    Her husband did work. When he did the odd jobs for the shelter he made 60 bucks a wk, 20 of which went back right back to the shelter. Then when her husband landed a job cutting grass.....he made fairly decent money, except then the shelter took a huge chunk out of that for "rent". WTH? How are they supposed to progress out of the shelter? Then of that the season is changing and there were no more mowing jobs and no odd jobs at the shelter.......which meant the kids had no money coming in.......shelter kept telling them they'd have to be moved out to make room for other people........that and the violence in the area is what prompted the decision to leave when they did.

    Yep, I can understand expecting people to contribute. I have no problem with that, but why would you have them contribute so much that it makes it almost impossible to save money to move beyond the shelter. Place sounds more like a sham that takes advantage of people than a shelter. ugh And I know this part is true because I just got off the phone with Katie's biomom a short while ago.:mad:

    Supper was a big batch of spagetti with bread and butter because I haven't been grocery shopping in quite a while. Again you'd have thought I'd given them steak. Kayla told me the shelter would give them 3 fish sticks and uncooked potatoes for supper....and Katie and her husband said that half cooked or uncooked food was frequent.....they even tried to get the clients to eat bloody chicken. :sick:

    They are now at the motel. Tomorrow starts a long day of enrolling the grands in school, welfare, wic, getting in contact with that pastor about the motel rent.......getting her and her husband started at a program here called turning point where they help you get a job and for those who need a GED will put them into that program for free......they should even set up her husband with classes at the college to learn to read. In this area not being able to read as an adult is fairly common. Long list of stuff to do which husband will be doing most of the driving for.

    I am pleasantly surprised. Overall other than being excited the grands were well behaved even wild child Evan. Their parents watched them and made them respect our things. Katie and her husband seem eager to find work and willing to do whatever it takes to get work.

    So totally different from 10 yrs ago when katie arrived. Before they left for the night her husband said if there was anything at all they could do to help they'll do it.......from helping with food from their food stamps to whatever they could.

    So we'll see about that. So far it's going ok. They aren't asking for anything except for a ride to some of the places they really wouldn't be able to walk to as they're on the other side of town. They're being respectful and appreciative. But since they're difficult children.......realistically it could just be a honeymoon phase.

    The grandkids were what got to us the most. They were thrilled that I have their pictures (along with all the other grands) around the house.....seemed to amaze them. They quite simply could not get enough of us. I was nearly hugged and kissed to death again when husband took them over the the motel.......and he was too when he dropped them off. Then all the grands kept asking him if they really were going to come back here tomorrow........the desperation.... husband said when he found them in the bus station he suddenly had 3 kids racing across the building to greet him, throwing arms around him and smothering him affection. .husband cried when he told me about it.

    Maybe Katie and her husband will not change. Maybe this has very little to do with katie and her husband........and everything to do with these children who have already seen and experienced far too much in their short lives. They were so grateful for the small amt of yard sale clothes we'd picked up for them.....made my heart ache. I saw appreciation in all their faces, not just the children.

    I expected Molly to growl and lunge for Katie's husband when he came in. I was ready to grab her if she did. She didn't even so much as bark at him. Molly is an expert at judging humans. Surprised the heck out of me. Hmmm. Still not sure what to think about that one.

    On sat there will be a family reunion of sorts. easy child and Nichole have gotten together and planned a huge dinner. That sort of surprised me as easy child hasn't acted very thrilled with all this from the get go. And easy child told me tonight she wants to go to yard sales this sat or to the thrift store to see about getting Alex some more much needed clothes. We didn't buy him as much as I was afraid the sizes katie gave me for him just had to be wrong......but they weren't. Kayla is 10 and only wearing a size 8. Alex is 9 and wearing a size 10. But like I said all 3 kids have lost a lot of weight.......I know because I know what they looked like before becoming homeless via the computer and web cam.

    easy child has offered to buy their halloween costumes so they can trick or treat with their cousins.

    No doubt both Alex and Even are full blown difficult children.......both obviously autistic, Alex has the MRDD thing going on too.......and who knows with Evan. But thankfully Katie even thought to bring along Alex's IEP.

    I'm exhausted. It's been a long day. All in all, a happy day........maybe a bit bitter sweet.......But it's good to have my Kayla and Alex here, to be able to hug them, love them, touch them.......Evan, yes my heart reached out to him too. But I don't know that I'll ever have the same bond with him I do the other 2.

    If Katie and her husband are willing...........I will help show them how to be adults. I sat and talked with them all afternoon. If katie is using drugs.......this time I see no signs of it. Same for him. I am hoping that means it won't be an issue. Her husband was social and wasn't that bad as far as first impressions go. (if you don't count that I met him once the last time she was here) So I'll reserve judgment.

    Weird thing is............I did get that call from katie's biomom not long after they went to the motel. She said so and so at the shelter (guessing someone who works there) told her the kids still have most of the funds on the card for this month. This worker wanted to know if the kids want her to give them cash for what is left on the card and biomom will send it to them........or what. I'll have katie call her mom and talk to her. I don't know what to think of husband's ex at this point and katie needs to talk to welfare to see what is or isn't legal concerning the card. Actually, I think her husband called the toll free number and cancelled the card tonight.......I know he tried to anyway.

    So that was our 1st day. Hopefully the pastor of the church will help them with motel rent until they can get into the shelter. Of course I'll still have them looking for work ect even before that shelter spot opens. If we get really lucky and they can find work.........maybe they can get into the hud apartments and bi-pass the shelter altogether.

    Thanks for the prayers, plz keep praying.

    Man I'm tired.:tongue:
  2. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I'm so glad you had a wonderful day!
  3. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    Awww, hearing your story brought tears to my eyes for the grandbabies and for hope that your difficult child has grown up. 10 years is a long time. Plenty of time for some one to learn some life lessons. I have my fingers crossed for you that all works out with them. I pray they find jobs and settle down near you - how wonderful it would be to have successful children close by!
  4. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Sounds hopeful. I think kindness and understanding of children is what keeps us going. The kids need examples of responsible, hard working, law abiding adults. Hopefully they will follow examples around them so when they are adults they do not make the same mistakes. Glad you and husband are on the same page.
  5. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    What a wonderful update to read. Sounds like a great start :) Reading about your grandchildren and their joy at seeing you brought tears to my eyes.
  6. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Ok, sniffling here. Where are my tissues?
  7. I'm THRILLED for you HD!!!! I'm thrilled for all the hugs and love you're enjoying!!!! I'm proud of you for holding strong!!!!!!! And I'm still praying!!!!!!

  8. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I know it could still be difficult child "honeymoon" phase, but I must admit katie and her husband's determination and attitude have been impressive.

    Katie spent most of yesterday on the phone calling shelters in several counties including dayton and cincy, ect. Today she also spent on the phone again calling shelters, calling every church in the phone book, setting up a WIC appointment for Evan, Early Intervention was a no go he's too old it stops at 3 but health dept told Katie another way to get one.

    Took them out to welfare. Well there was 2 hitches, Katie brought all birth certificates except one for Evan and one for her husband. She's never had a birth certificate for Evan.....Mo just varifies via the health dept. Second hitch was that they had to close out their welfare in Mo. Katie's husband had already cancelled the food stamp card, but they still needed to cancel the insurance before Oh will pick them up. Once Mo is closed out Kayla and Alex will have insurance immediately as since Katie had their birth certificates. But the cw tried to tell katie that the copy of her birth certificate was just a photo copy which is major BS because I paid for that copy, it's certified and signed!! grr

    They were planning to wait for the birth certificates.......but the violence around and in the shelter was increasing and since they no longer had money coming in shelter staff kept threatening to move them out so they could bring new people in. If that had happened they'd have been homeless with absolutely no one to help them.

    Good news to these hitches.........Evidently ohio will not make them wait for services once they have the birth certificates and the Mo closed out. Bad news : if welfare refuses to accept katie's birth certificate copy we have to send off for hers too and last time it took 3 wks!

    That cut our outing short today because I wanted them to get back here and call Mo and get that acct closed out. Guess what? Their cw is on vacation this week. So instead of giving up, katie kept calling his supervisor..........she never got to speak with them but she's trying again tomorrow. She plans to call them to death until they talk to her just to get her to leave them alone. lol

    Because katie was persistant with shelters......(recalling ones she called yesterday) she found out a spot is opening up in the wilmington shelter in a few days. Sounds as if they are going to hold it for them. Woman told katie to call her every day in case a spot opens sooner. The kids are out of money, spending the last of it tonite on the motel.......with husband and I chipping in 10 bucks simply because it would be better than attempting to bed them down here. And frankly while the grands were trying hard to be good..........Alex and Evan are both difficult children......and they wear us out. lol

    She is still playing phone tag with one pastor who told her he was fairly sure he could help with motel cost until they could get into a shelter.

    This morning before calling us to tell us they were up so they could come eat breakfast and start all this again, katies husband was busy calling places trying to see who was hiring while katie was getting the kids ready for when husband picked them up.

    Tomorrow we go to community action. We go to turning point to see if they have a spot for Katie's husband. He can work there while also learning to read and get his GED.....once he graduates from this program they will find him work. Most likely the factory where Nichole worked that pays 10.00 an hr and is always in need of help. (huge turnover rate) Her husband asked if I'd take them a few places to put in applications too. We'll be stopping at the college to see when winter registration is so katie can register and to ask them about the nurse aide program.

    During all this husband and Travis will be watching the kids again as it's easier on me to do the running part. lol

    Oh, and Katie already did the phone interview today for our shelter. She should have the in person interview soon. They have no openings yet but I told her getting those 2 things out of the way will one show them that they are serious and 2 should bump them up for a spot. It did, they are top of the list for next available spot.

    Since at this point we don't know if it will be wilmington or here where they'll wind up..........we're holding off enrolling Kayla and Alex until next week. No since in going thru the process only to have them wind up in both another town and county.

    easy child brought up a valid point. If they're in wilmington it will be harder for us to help, She suggested they stay in that shelter until their spot in the one down here opens and then come back here. And it just hit me that if they go to wilmington then it will be pure hades to get Katie's husband to turning point. ugghhhh I have no clue if they have such a program up there so I think I'll have katie call and ask.

    They have not asked for a single thing.....except use of the phone and help getting where they need to go and ideas of other places to call for help. Their appreciation for me feeding them is genuine. Just now hit me that I prepared breakfast for the kids and didn't even think to offer it to the adults (we don't eat breakfast around here) and during lunch I had them running......same for yesterday. But both nights I made big filling meals. Tonight's menu was po' man's food : fried potatoes n onions, mac and cheese, and sweet rice.....they couldn't get enough. Not one were told not to waste a bite of food.

    I overheard Katie and her husband whispering about money for the motel while I was cooking. They only had 36.00 left. (the night before leaving the shelter some of their money came up missing and katie had to go ask a priest to help cover ticket cost to make up for the stolen money so they would still have some for the motel) I didn't say a word. And honestly the kids were loud enough I'm sure they didn't think I heard them because I was busy cooking and pretending I was oblivious. When I went to tell husband supper was ready I told him what I'd overheard.

    They had not asked us for money, they were trying to figure out what they were going to do for a place to sleep. I told husband (and I know for sure they didn't overhear) that it was 10 bucks to help them cover the motel or they'd be bedding down in the dining room as the family room still has stuff Nichole has to move to dayton this weekend. husband gave me the money, I walked back in and gave it to katie and told her she had another night covered. She nearly fell out of the chair. And her husband started asking me what he could do to help around here. So I told him he can help husband make a new gate for the back yard fence. lol And I meant it. Her husband said he'd be glad to.

    We've talked a lot in the past 2 days. Katie's husband is/was a full blown difficult I didn't already know. lol In his teen years he got involved in street gangs in out of that life a couple of years before katie. He said the shelter opened his eyes to the fact the only way he would ever be able to make a decent living to support his family was to learn to read and get his GED or he'd be forever stuck in nowhere jobs that paid nothing. Which would have them always on the brink of living on the streets. After these past months in the shelter........that thought scared them both. Mo doesn't have most of the programs we have here. We have them because we're considered Appalachian. He seemed very sincere. As does katie.

    I'm thinking the being homeless, coupled with being able to see the lives her sibs were making for themselves via facebook......had a positive effect. I mean c'mon.....even Travis with all his disabilities is attending college.

    I don't know what we'll do tomorrow nite. husband and I can't afford to give them 46 bucks for the motel. I'm praying hard katie can connect with that pastor and he'll help them with that. The kids are even willing to do odd jobs for the churches or attend services in return for any help. (something they'd never even consider before)

    Their effort has in my opinion earned them the right to sleep on the floor for a few days if we're given no other choice. But it will be hard as currently the only room in the house with room is my diningroom.....because the family room still has nichole's things in it and still needs to be cleaned up. And if we do that I've got to figure out what I'm going to do with Betsy who doesn't like strangers and will bark at them all night long. husband has suggested moving her crate up to our room.....not sure how that would work out.

    There is more about katie's biomom........but it's 3am and I have to get up early and start all over again. And the pain medications have finally kicked in. So I'll have to fill you all in on that later.

    But yeah, so far other than the crappy economy and the birth certificate's going well. Which reminds me........I have no clue where we'll get 30 bucks for 3 birth certificates. d*mn
  9. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    It really sounds like they are dedicated to making changes and working very hard to achieve a better life. That is wonderful and a really huge change!! With that determination they hopefully will be able to get the help they need and find the right programs to be able to build a good life.

    One thing about difficult children. They are stubborn and determined. In their difficult child days those things are aimed at all the wrong things. WHen those qualites are turned toward good things, amazing things happen. Many difficult children do things 110% or 0%. I can remember when gfgbro went into rehab. He did it completely, and is one of the rare people who has been able to STAY sober for many years with-o having a major relapse. This is partly because he still goes to meetings, even after many years of sobriety, and partly because he is a difficult child and does things all or nothing.

    Your Katie and her husband were both difficult children. Now they seem to be reforming difficult children, which means they will go into these changes completely.

    I truly hope and pray they are able to turn things around. The way they have acted since they arrived certainly would make me feel OK letting them sleep in the house, regardless of where they had to bed down. And Nichole will be there to get her stuff this weekend. That will make more room.

    I hope your mouth is doing better.

    HUGS!!!! To all of you.
  10. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Day 3:

    More of the same.:tongue: Katie still calling shelters, churches, ect.

    Then took her and her husband out to the college to find out how soon Katie has to enroll in order to sign up for winter classes. Well since the last time she was here she dropped 2 classes.......she owes the college money. Good thing is it is only 260.00. Another good thing is she can still do her FASFA ect, that 260.00 just has to be paid by the beginning of winter quarter. Not great but not too horrible.

    Next stop was turning point for her husband. Well......they talked to the secretary who didn't seem to know much so they're going back monday and trying again.

    Then we went to community action. Unfortunately they can't do much until they are actually in an apartment. But we did get a head start app for Evan and if they can squeeze him in he should be able to be evaled via the school.

    Then went to several places so they could put in apps. One is quite promising......they need help desperately only issue with that one is they'd run out of applications but should have more by monday.

    On the way home I made sure to drive by the catholic church. I knew the name of it......but we couldn't find it in the phone book. Stopped in hoping to speak to the priest, but he was in cincy.....but woman we spoke to said they also may be able to help with motel cost and we're waiting to here from the catholic charity. (I've been hearing the name for 2 days and still can't remember what it's called lol) So at least now 2 possibles for getting the motel fee covered.

    Then back home because by then husband and Travis had had the kids for several hours. lol (but each time papa has watched them they've been angels)

    But it didn't stop there. More phone calls because they still had the welfare acct to close out in Mo. katie just kept calling until she finally got a supervisor. Turns out they were due for reapplication so acct is closed. They just need a fax from the kids telling them they want to keep it closed out, then they'll fax the welfare office here and they're good to go once we get the money to send off for birth certificates.

    Now the kids had already informed our welfare office of what the shelter was doing with the food stamp cards of clients. Today katie also informed the supervisor she spoke too. Neither welfare office were happy.......I'm pretty sure the shelter will be investigated soon.

    Once that was done katie called the wilmington shelter to check for openings. (the woman wants her to call daily in case someone leaves) The spot for the kids should be open by thursday. But as the shelter staff told katie the woman has backed out before or may leave earlier so keep calling.

    husband and I made a quick trip to the store to pick up a few things I could stretch.......I am hoping it will hold us until the food pantry opens monday or until his social security check on wed. We had less than 40 bucks to spend on food..... hoovers but what can you do? I went with husband to make sure he didn't waste it on something stupid and also to get a short break from the over crowded house.

    Ok now about katies biomom. They left her behind in St. Louis. She didn't want to come here, they weren't really wanting her to come here......they've been trying to take care of her too for the past 5 yrs......because they knew it would be hard enough trying to get on their feet just as the family......and well heck, she didn't want to come either.

    Biomom called 1st nite just as husband had left to take the kids to the motel. First she wanted to make sure they'd made it safe. Two she'd just discovered that she had an extension on her unemployment to claim. (that last one that went thru) So all she had to do was go down to unemployment and fill out the paperwork and thursday she'd have the 2000.00 that had been just sitting there for lord knows how long.

    Katie spoke with her yesterday. The kids were faking going on there.......for both her safety and that the shelter would take the money from her for "rent" with the threat if she didn't give it to them they'd throw her out. Katie warned her repeatedly NOT to tell a soul that she was getting ANY money and pleaded with her to go back to Springfield where she knew where to get help and has friends who will be glad to help her. Well.........turns out biomom had changed her mind and wants to come to ohio too......Katie tried to explain that doing so would only make matters worse for them......So then she wanted to stay in the st. louis shelter. Then the kids go really scared, pleaded with her to please go back to springfield where she'd be safe.

    Unfortunately Katie wasn't sure she'd convinced her to do that.

    Biomom calls tonight. She supposedly has told no one about the money coming to her. It took a LOT of talking, begging, pleading and explaining from katie, her husband, and myself that her only viable option was to return to Springfield where she will be safe. I had to tell biomom that there was positively NO ROOM AT THE INN! But she's scared to be alone in springfield.......well, ok I don't blame her she's husband's age and katie is her ONLY family. So we explained to her that to come now she would only make it much tougher on the kids to start over and get on their feet. She could use the money to return to springfield. Once the kids are stable and doing well the plan is to bring her over and set her up into a shelter and then help her to become independent as well. She agreed when the kids told her it's only temporary. Ok so it may take months.....whatever, but she will eventually be brought over so she won't be all alone.

    Now we just have to hope she doesn't change her mind. omg Cuz there is no way her and husband could be under the same roof. lmao I get along with her fine........he's the one with issues.:tongue: And I am NOT adding another person to this mess.

    The kids did not ask to stay with us. I didn't offer either. Instead when bedtime for the grands was near I had them pick up the toys they were playing with in the dining room. I vacuumed. I told husband to dig out our air mattress and pump out of the family room. I put a sheet on it and one of those microfiber blankets. No pillows.....I don't have extra. All 5 are sleeping on a full size air mattress. No complains from any of them. Not a word.

    Betsy's crate was moved to the livingroom which has a door that can be closed. Worked out ok. They have a place to sleep. It's not luxury by a long shot.......husband was going to offer them our pillows from upstairs.....I nixed the idea as katies husband was already busy making pillows out of rolled up clean clothing that was soft.

    Bit worried as katie is about to run out of her medications for the seizures and the migraines. No refills for we'll just have to cope as best we can.

    In the morning I'm going with Nichole and easy child to the new thrift store I found. easy child wants to look at the new dressers they have there and wanted me to show her where it is......then invited Nichole since her boyfriend has to come down early to fix his car. Would have invited katie but then 3 kids and her husband would've wanted to go and that's just too many people. Later in the day is supper at easy child's house where the kids can play with their cousins in her huge backyard..........and I have at least 1 meal I don't have to cook.

    I faced a dilemma this evening. After buying what little food we did we were broke. Except that I've been carrying around xmas money (teeny bit left from my school loan and the yard sale) forever......literally it does not leave my bodily possession. So I thought.......I could pay for 1 more nite in the motel and pray that either the priest or the pastor comes through.......or I could svck it up, face reality and just deal with the fact that at this moment they had no where else to go. But paying for the motel would only put us out more money none of us have to spend.......and odds are they'd been in my dining room tomorrow nite anyway. Then I had to decide if a couple of hours of peace and quiet were worth 46 bucks.

    I don't feel I made the wrong choice. Both katie and her husband are still difficult children.........but are showing me they're trying hard and more than very willing to turn their lives around. I do see much more maturity than I saw before this shelter ordeal......much. They're not all the way there yet.....which is why I didn't have husband offer our pillows.....didn't attempt to find some other way for them not to have to sleep 5 in a bed......because I don't want to make it so comfy here that they loose this motivation for change.

    Katie's husband told me he's going through computer withdrawl. Told him no one uses my computer but ME. period. And it's password protected so that husband can't even log onto it. We had Travis do the same for husband's laptop......with the same's papa's with hands off. I told her husband that Travis could walk them down to the library, they could get a card and use their computers. lol

    In the morning while I'm off to the thrift store husband can take them around to some more places to put in apps........and yes they can take the kids. I'm sure they'll survive. lol

    Sunday they'll be helping me clean. Nichole should have the rest of her stuff out of here which will make it easier.

    Will say I'm more than pleased with the grands as well. I don't have things here geared for above age 6. So they're somewhat bored unless it's warm enough to go outside. They've been good, well mannered. Only some normal sib stuff a bit of difficult child stuff from the boys......used to that because of Travis, but Mom and Dad were on top of it.

    Molly and Bruce are being overloved. Betsy would be but she can't decide if she's too scared or if she wants them to love her too. So we're introducing her slowly to them. Poor thing didn't get a chance at much socialization due to my being in school her whole life.

    Funny part : I think I can deal ok (at least with what I've seen so far) with katie's husband. He reminds me of my brothers. lmao Maybe a bit rougher around the edges as in between foster homes he basically raised himself.......But he loves Katie. He adores those kids. And even though he complains about how biomom drives him nuts with the stuff she does........I saw the worry and fear on his face when they found out she was getting that money and planning to stay in st.louis in the shelter......and I watched HIM get on the phone and beg her to go back to springfield where it was safe too. He is upset and extremely worried someone will seriously hurt her or kill her to get their hands on that money.

    Ok, so he's still got the perv thing that will never get outta my head................But I see things that show me underneath the bravado ect.......well, dammit I see potential there if he can be kept on the right track. I just think no one ever cared enough to bother before.

    But still have no expectations. With this I'm taking it one day at a time. It's better that way

    Me? There have been a few moments when I've been brought to tears. Tears of frustration mostly........and that I'm not going to be able to make the food stretch until we have money to buy more.........frustration that the kids are trying so hard and are still sleeping on my floor.

    I still am not eating. Tried to eat cottage cheese and almost choked on it. So I'm surviving on pudding and V8. No I know it's not good.........but I don't have money for much else. And I do have some creamed soups in the house.......but during the day we're running and in the evening I'm so tired I have to force myself to eat the pudding. And since the weather has turned cold again.....the pain is doing nothing for my appetite.

    I'm surprised I haven't passed out from lack of calories ect. lol I'm dropping weight fast even though I'm holding water. After tues it won't be so bad though, the stitches will be out.

    Tomorrow I'm going to also have katie and her husband make a list of goals. I want them to check each one off as they accomplish it. First priority is a roof over their heads, 2nd is food, 3 is jobs (which may come before the other 2 but that can't be counted on) ect. I want them to see what they've accomplished as they reach each goal. Because frankly this process is's easy to get frustrated and overwhelmed. And that way they'll feel the accomplishment as each goal is met.

    Keep praying please, it does seem to be helping.