Her wedding was Friday evening. It was very nice, a small backyard thing at their townhouse. It's weird to see her posting on FB with a different last name, guess I'll get used to that! Her husband leaves for overseas in early June, and will be gone for a year.. I pray this all works out for them. They're very happy, and he's a good guy and is great with the kids. Him being gone is going to be hard on all of them. I pray nothing falls apart while he's gone.
The only "blip" for me was that she didn't want me to walk her down the aisle (i.e., out the back door of the house and up to the officiant). She wanted to walk by herself. I told her that was fine, it was her wedding after all, and I smiled. But, truth be told it stung, and hurt my feelings. I pushed through those feelings because I realized it wasn't a personal slam towards me, it was just Youngest being Youngest. Wanting to be the center of attention and not taking anyone else's feelings into consideration but her own. She did text me later and thank me for everything I'd done to help with the wedding, so it's not that she's not appreciative. It's just that when she appreciates me, it's for things I do, and not for me just being me, her mom. On one level that makes me really sad, but on another, I realize I can't change it so it's just another thing I need to detach from. I guess I just need to accept her how she is. And hope that one day, she'll change. It'd be easy to cry and say, "how could she, after all I've done for her?" but that would be such a colossal waste of energy. I can't even make myself cry over it.. weird huh?
I was kind of unemotional leading up to the wedding date, in fact I told very few people she was getting married. Only my closest friends knew it was coming (and a few folks at work, since I took the day off), until I posted on Facebook the day of the wedding. I knew that even though I'm happy for her, I just didn't have the "joy" that a "normal" mother would have in preparing for her daughter's wedding day, so it felt weird to talk about it.
So, I guess all of this is more progress in detachment, but it feels weird. Better than being depressed and stressed out over it, though.
The only "blip" for me was that she didn't want me to walk her down the aisle (i.e., out the back door of the house and up to the officiant). She wanted to walk by herself. I told her that was fine, it was her wedding after all, and I smiled. But, truth be told it stung, and hurt my feelings. I pushed through those feelings because I realized it wasn't a personal slam towards me, it was just Youngest being Youngest. Wanting to be the center of attention and not taking anyone else's feelings into consideration but her own. She did text me later and thank me for everything I'd done to help with the wedding, so it's not that she's not appreciative. It's just that when she appreciates me, it's for things I do, and not for me just being me, her mom. On one level that makes me really sad, but on another, I realize I can't change it so it's just another thing I need to detach from. I guess I just need to accept her how she is. And hope that one day, she'll change. It'd be easy to cry and say, "how could she, after all I've done for her?" but that would be such a colossal waste of energy. I can't even make myself cry over it.. weird huh?
I was kind of unemotional leading up to the wedding date, in fact I told very few people she was getting married. Only my closest friends knew it was coming (and a few folks at work, since I took the day off), until I posted on Facebook the day of the wedding. I knew that even though I'm happy for her, I just didn't have the "joy" that a "normal" mother would have in preparing for her daughter's wedding day, so it felt weird to talk about it.
So, I guess all of this is more progress in detachment, but it feels weird. Better than being depressed and stressed out over it, though.