Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Your house/your rules -How to stop 17 yo from using pot in house?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Percy" data-source="post: 705887" data-attributes="member: 21263"><p>Susiestar, thanks for your thoughts. To state up front, I am not arguing against you, but rather responding to your points below -- so that if my thinking is flawed you and others can point it out!</p><p></p><p>I could strip his room bare. I have done it. And the next day or two and the weed and paraphernalia is back. It is part of an epic power struggle. He thinks we need to chill out abou this pot use, it doesn't affect us, it has no impact on us, it is his choice...I could go on and on. He wants to force us to bend our values in this regard, and concede that it is ok for him to use weed, including in our house. When I go through room I take away anything I find. I have smashed so many bongs in the past 6 months (his, his friends' that were left on our property/in our barn) that I have decided if I ever start a band it will be called Smashing Bongs (in fact, that should have been my username on this site! lol!)</p><p></p><p>The state we are in allows medical marijuana, and has decriminalized (but not legalized) all non-medical use. Legalization is likely in the near future. At preset, it is just an infraction ticket if one is caught in possession of <4oz. I hear your point re CPS, and believe that can happen, but it is highly doubtful things would play out that way in the state we are in (Due to my profession, I am knowledgeable about the law, enforcement and CPS practices, capacity, approach etc.). Very good point re other kid getting tested and saying "but Name uses it at home" as a "defense" to try to get them out of trouble. Our schools don't drug test, but I agree that that is not the only scenario where another kid could be in that situation. My other kids are not using pot, ever. My other two teens, 16 and 14 year olds are 180' from their older brother, are vehemently against weed, and have watched it destroy their brother. So while "you don't know what you don't know", I am as confident as a parent can be, with objective basis, that my other kids are not using pot, at present.</p><p></p><p>Your point about civil forfeiture aspect if he is dealing from my home is valid. (And one of the reasons I have taken on a double digit million dollar umbrella insurance policy. My son is my biggest liability exposure.) And while I don't think he is dealing on scale, it wouldn't shock me if he were occasionally "distributing" (for $ or not) to friends, or reselling a bit here and there.</p><p></p><p>We were drug testing for a while -- and he was faking them. And yes, someone was in the bathroom with him. Husband was standing next to him, but didn't see the little visine bottles with someone else's urine, or vitamin B and H20, that he was hiding in his hand and squirting into the cup. I feel stupid even admitting this could happen, but I figure this forum is for brutal honesty.</p><p></p><p>Other kids do not have asthma or allergies. I don't believe there is any second hand smoke impact of his vaping with windows open etc. But maybe I am wrong. I need to think more about what you said. But to your point about the medical bills - how would I actually make him pay them? He would just say no. Not in relation to pot impact, but He has missed counselor appointments for which we are charged, and I have no hope of recouping the $ from him. He would never willingly hand over money, and I can't see myself trying to physically take it from him/his wallet.</p><p></p><p>We don't have cable. We do provide cell service, which as I note above I query if I should stop. (But I think it benefits me, which is why I have not cut it off to date.) We also do provide wifi, bc it was so difficult to manage blocking him, but permitting the rest of the household, and he would always circumvent, that I felt like I had a second job as an IT person! But other than that nothing - no junk foods; no car; no use of car; no cable; no TV; no game system; no allowance or spending money; no cell phone (he bought the one he has); no new clothes or electronics etc.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Percy, post: 705887, member: 21263"] Susiestar, thanks for your thoughts. To state up front, I am not arguing against you, but rather responding to your points below -- so that if my thinking is flawed you and others can point it out! I could strip his room bare. I have done it. And the next day or two and the weed and paraphernalia is back. It is part of an epic power struggle. He thinks we need to chill out abou this pot use, it doesn't affect us, it has no impact on us, it is his choice...I could go on and on. He wants to force us to bend our values in this regard, and concede that it is ok for him to use weed, including in our house. When I go through room I take away anything I find. I have smashed so many bongs in the past 6 months (his, his friends' that were left on our property/in our barn) that I have decided if I ever start a band it will be called Smashing Bongs (in fact, that should have been my username on this site! lol!) The state we are in allows medical marijuana, and has decriminalized (but not legalized) all non-medical use. Legalization is likely in the near future. At preset, it is just an infraction ticket if one is caught in possession of <4oz. I hear your point re CPS, and believe that can happen, but it is highly doubtful things would play out that way in the state we are in (Due to my profession, I am knowledgeable about the law, enforcement and CPS practices, capacity, approach etc.). Very good point re other kid getting tested and saying "but Name uses it at home" as a "defense" to try to get them out of trouble. Our schools don't drug test, but I agree that that is not the only scenario where another kid could be in that situation. My other kids are not using pot, ever. My other two teens, 16 and 14 year olds are 180' from their older brother, are vehemently against weed, and have watched it destroy their brother. So while "you don't know what you don't know", I am as confident as a parent can be, with objective basis, that my other kids are not using pot, at present. Your point about civil forfeiture aspect if he is dealing from my home is valid. (And one of the reasons I have taken on a double digit million dollar umbrella insurance policy. My son is my biggest liability exposure.) And while I don't think he is dealing on scale, it wouldn't shock me if he were occasionally "distributing" (for $ or not) to friends, or reselling a bit here and there. We were drug testing for a while -- and he was faking them. And yes, someone was in the bathroom with him. Husband was standing next to him, but didn't see the little visine bottles with someone else's urine, or vitamin B and H20, that he was hiding in his hand and squirting into the cup. I feel stupid even admitting this could happen, but I figure this forum is for brutal honesty. Other kids do not have asthma or allergies. I don't believe there is any second hand smoke impact of his vaping with windows open etc. But maybe I am wrong. I need to think more about what you said. But to your point about the medical bills - how would I actually make him pay them? He would just say no. Not in relation to pot impact, but He has missed counselor appointments for which we are charged, and I have no hope of recouping the $ from him. He would never willingly hand over money, and I can't see myself trying to physically take it from him/his wallet. We don't have cable. We do provide cell service, which as I note above I query if I should stop. (But I think it benefits me, which is why I have not cut it off to date.) We also do provide wifi, bc it was so difficult to manage blocking him, but permitting the rest of the household, and he would always circumvent, that I felt like I had a second job as an IT person! But other than that nothing - no junk foods; no car; no use of car; no cable; no TV; no game system; no allowance or spending money; no cell phone (he bought the one he has); no new clothes or electronics etc. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Your house/your rules -How to stop 17 yo from using pot in house?
Top