Ok...I value the creative advice I have gotten here for fifteen years. Maybe you can advise or give your opinions...there are NO unappreciated answers so if you are so inclined, please respond. My daughter Jumper and son Sonic were raised in a loving home with myself and the love of my life and both say they had great lives with us, for which we are grateful. They mean it, which is precious to us both. On the other hand, those two kids grew up in a home that had no extra money at all and they asked for nothing and never complained. My oldest two have received a lot from my ex, but these two...nothing. We wrote a new will after my dear dad passed and we found out we would finally have some money, bless my fathers heart. I did not expect it. Thought the money was largely gone. But he made sure all three of us will get something significant. Although the money has to last a lifetime for us, and we are going to invest mostly in low risk and some medium risk things, it wont make us rich. But husband and I have decided to do some things for Jumper that we never thought of before as it wasnt possible. We are going to help her fiance pay for her ring (he wants to pay us back, but...no). We are going to pay for 1/3 of the wedding, which she is targeting at about $10,000 and,most importantly, we plan to gift the kids a big down payment for their dream home with land. After buying an RV for us for about 10K and maybe a $3000 boat, the rest will be invested/untouched. We will live on our small income and any profit from investment. So we want to keep everything lower cost. Real estate out here is low...you can get a four bedroom home on five beautiful acres for $170,000 or less and this is where they want to live...out in the country. Ok, rings first. I read that the average ring is $5000. Yet I heard that couples who spend $500 to $2000 on a ring have a lower rate of divorce. There is no way we will give $5k for a ring. Up to $2000 tops. If they want more they can pay the rest. Is this fair? Jumper is not pretentious and it is our pleasure to help her out within reason. Jumper and fiance want a casual wedding. No church, but she does want her old volleyball coach to officiate. This coach is pastor of a big church in town and she loves Jumper. Jumper and fiance like the idea of an old barn wedding...this is done here. They have barns for rent for weddings! I assume there are no horses in them We may rent a pavillion for the reception, cook our own food (chefs in the family) and bring our own booze. His family drinks mostly beer! Not fancy! His family offered to pay for the whole wedding but now we will sit down and discuss it. Very nice, down home folks. Its not traditional, but neither are our families. We will let them pay some of it and we will. The kids say they they will also help. Both have jobs, althought dauvhter will not graduate from police academy until 2018 ( they will marry after she graduates). So after all this, with a down payment on a home being a wedding gift, our biggest contribution, what do you feel is reasonable for a ring? Also, any cool ideas for a down home but awesome wedding? My niece had a similar wedding and it rocked. After the ceremony everyone changed into jeans and we all had great home cooked food and fun on the beach. We can bring our boat. My daughter, like all my kids, tend to be non traditional and down home. (Hmmm...where did they get that?) Hub and I feel it is more important to get them a low house payment than a fancy wedding that is not their style anyway. We are both very excited and she is so grateful. The boat we are buying is also going to be shared by all of us. Her home will have lots of land and we will park our RV on it in the summer, when we are back in Wisconsin. Fiance has always lived on lots of land, both want land, and both want their kids to grow up in and go to school in a small town. The towns they are looking at are lovely and tranquil eith surprisingly good but small schools. So back to the ring and wedding. Is a $2000 gift to the ring ok? And what can you think of to have a fun, down home, wonderful low cost wedding? Music without a DJ? Neither family dances... Oh yeah we are buying the dress too, but limiting the cost on that too. Jumper wants me and Dad to come with when she buys dress just like the show "SayYes to the Dress" lol. She loves her daddy so much and wants him to like her dress. As if he wont think she is the most beautiful bride ever, no matter what she wears! And she wants me there as well. If you think we are wrong on any front, do tell. This is the first time we are able to contribute anything significant to our daughters life. For Sonic, since he is considered disabled, we will set up an appropriate trust for him after we cross into the spirit world. He will not be forgotten. Open to all thoughts. In spite of wanting to help, we need most of the money for us, and it needs to last for the rest of our lives. Thank you to all who read this and to any who respond.