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"You're gonna be a grandma!"
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 649210" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I would forget about the husband. He did not make her do the things she has done, not that he's a peach or anything, but your daughter chose to have a baby with him. If I were you, my #1 priority would be to ask her if she is still drinking and doing drugs. We adopted a child who was exposed to drugs and alcohol and it IS his birthmother's fault that he has struggled a lot and it is to his credit that he is still happy, but don't think that even early drinking, before you know you are pregnant, can't hurt the baby because it can.</p><p></p><p>I would be cautious about being so happy. Your daughter is going to have to change her entire life to give you a healthy grandson and to be any kind of mother. I'm not saying this to rain on your parade, but so that you don't lose focus. Although I never agree that forcing an abortion is a good idea...ever...I do think this is probably not a good time for your daughter to have a baby and she picked some nasty DNA to have a baby with.</p><p></p><p>I don't know how it will work out between the two of you once she is home and comfortable and back to herself. Our troubled adult kids seem to want us only when they need something from us. The young woman who left your house and didn't speak to you for so long is the same person as before only now she is pregnant and has nine months to take either good care or bad care of that baby growing inside of her.</p><p></p><p>You can't do anything to make her be healthy during her pregnancy. I know that. But I'd be firm with her and if she lives at home...get her ready for being a mother. A job. Rent. Her own laundry. Cleaning. Curfew (your house/your rules). No drinking or drugs because she is pregnant, if for no other reason.If she isn't a responsible person when the baby is born, the baby is not going to be very happy with her and Dad doesn't sound like a winner. Don't be surprised if after telling your daughter to abort the child he suddenly wants visitation and his parental rights after it's born...he sounds like one of our fabulous troubled adult kids and they never see the strangeness of their actions and often do things just to irritate other people. He can get parental rights too, so that is a problem also. </p><p></p><p>That's what I'd do anyway. She could come home, but if she started abusing the baby before it is even born, I would be thinking to myself about how I'd get custody of that child after the baby was born. It's a big waiting game.</p><p></p><p>I hope for the best and congrats on becoming a grandmother to hopefully a healthy little boy or girl with a responsible mother!!!! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 649210, member: 1550"] I would forget about the husband. He did not make her do the things she has done, not that he's a peach or anything, but your daughter chose to have a baby with him. If I were you, my #1 priority would be to ask her if she is still drinking and doing drugs. We adopted a child who was exposed to drugs and alcohol and it IS his birthmother's fault that he has struggled a lot and it is to his credit that he is still happy, but don't think that even early drinking, before you know you are pregnant, can't hurt the baby because it can. I would be cautious about being so happy. Your daughter is going to have to change her entire life to give you a healthy grandson and to be any kind of mother. I'm not saying this to rain on your parade, but so that you don't lose focus. Although I never agree that forcing an abortion is a good idea...ever...I do think this is probably not a good time for your daughter to have a baby and she picked some nasty DNA to have a baby with. I don't know how it will work out between the two of you once she is home and comfortable and back to herself. Our troubled adult kids seem to want us only when they need something from us. The young woman who left your house and didn't speak to you for so long is the same person as before only now she is pregnant and has nine months to take either good care or bad care of that baby growing inside of her. You can't do anything to make her be healthy during her pregnancy. I know that. But I'd be firm with her and if she lives at home...get her ready for being a mother. A job. Rent. Her own laundry. Cleaning. Curfew (your house/your rules). No drinking or drugs because she is pregnant, if for no other reason.If she isn't a responsible person when the baby is born, the baby is not going to be very happy with her and Dad doesn't sound like a winner. Don't be surprised if after telling your daughter to abort the child he suddenly wants visitation and his parental rights after it's born...he sounds like one of our fabulous troubled adult kids and they never see the strangeness of their actions and often do things just to irritate other people. He can get parental rights too, so that is a problem also. That's what I'd do anyway. She could come home, but if she started abusing the baby before it is even born, I would be thinking to myself about how I'd get custody of that child after the baby was born. It's a big waiting game. I hope for the best and congrats on becoming a grandmother to hopefully a healthy little boy or girl with a responsible mother!!!! :) [/QUOTE]
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