Hi. My name is Sarah. I have two sons, 14 and 12. The older one has aspergers, diagnosed (finally) at age 12. Till then they called it ADHD. It seems to be much more than either of these. He has many services, has been on many medicines, and is still out of control. He does and says strange and often disturbing things. He can become violent, destructive, enraged, moody. It became much worse with puberty, of course. He cannot express himself well. After his last hospitalization in the mental hospital they got him taking triliptal, but then insurance wouldn't cover it so they are bouncing him around from tegretol to depakote, all with no success. The poor kid is melting down, and it is so stressful to live with that his brother and I both need antidepressants and we can barely cope. Our home is under seige by a child who is often a tyrant, can be abusive, breaks things, screams, and is very oppositional. On the inside he's a really sweet boy, but whatever his brain and/or hormones are doing is messing up his life. I have kidney failure from lupus and am to have a transplant at any time. I have not ever really had anyone who can relate to what I go through. He often does not show much of these behaviors outside the home around others, but now that he cant take abilify any more his normal problems are showing up at school. Some of the more inappropriate things he says and does around other children can get him in a lot of trouble and really worry me. I have had the police here many times to deal with him and even the fire department to try to curb his fascination with fire. I am a single mother and have limited resources, or I'd take him for neurofeedback or something because the medicines and therapies have done no good for him. He has high intelligence but less than 50% of the mental processing ability of other kids, and he is immature in many ways. But he is now bigger and stronger than me, and a lot to take care of. The appointments and all the drama and high maintenance he requires and constant supervision and intervention are exhausting and take up all our time and resources and energy. My other son and I feel like we have no life, and yet I feel really bad for my older son because he doesn't want to be like this and I know how hard life is for him, too. Child Protective Services is already monitoring the situation but they don't really have any answers to offer. Seems like no one does right now.