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14 year old "dating" 19 year old - UHGHGH!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="trinityroyal" data-source="post: 270842" data-attributes="member: 3907"><p>Dara, sometimes anticipation of something we're dreading can be so much worse than the actual thing itself. I HATE the feeling of expecting a difficult child meltdown. However, living through it is never quite as bad as worrying about what's going to happen.</p><p></p><p>I suppose when you're in the middle of it, you're in crisis mode, so you're just dealing with whatever comes at you. Whereas, when you're thinking about what might happen, you've got all of the possibilities of every past difficult child meltdown in your mental reference library. It can get overwhelming.</p><p></p><p>I do think it's a good idea to get your daughter off the Stikam site. It sounds like she's meeting inappropriate people there. </p><p></p><p>I wonder, though...</p><p>It might be that your difficult child feels she's in over her head. She's meeting these older girls and trying to maintain an air of sophistication that she's probably nowhere near ready for. She might have found herself stranded out there with no safe way to retreat. Having mom clamp down and forbid her to proceed might just give her the escape route she needs.</p><p></p><p>I used to hang out with much older kids when I was in my early teens. 17 to 20, to my 13 or so. I was invited to a party at some guy's apartment, and knew there would be drugs and debauchery. I was afraid to decline, because I didn't want to lose my status as a "cool kid" with this group, however I was terrified that I'd get into a situation I couldn't handle. My difficult child-mom, for once in her life, didn't let me run wild as usual, and actually said no. I was able to tell them that I was benched and couldn't go out. I was so grateful, you have no idea. I wouldn't be surprised if to a certain extent your difficult child is feeling the same pressure.</p><p></p><p>Hide the breakables, set the limits, and batten down the hatches. </p><p></p><p>Trinity</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="trinityroyal, post: 270842, member: 3907"] Dara, sometimes anticipation of something we're dreading can be so much worse than the actual thing itself. I HATE the feeling of expecting a difficult child meltdown. However, living through it is never quite as bad as worrying about what's going to happen. I suppose when you're in the middle of it, you're in crisis mode, so you're just dealing with whatever comes at you. Whereas, when you're thinking about what might happen, you've got all of the possibilities of every past difficult child meltdown in your mental reference library. It can get overwhelming. I do think it's a good idea to get your daughter off the Stikam site. It sounds like she's meeting inappropriate people there. I wonder, though... It might be that your difficult child feels she's in over her head. She's meeting these older girls and trying to maintain an air of sophistication that she's probably nowhere near ready for. She might have found herself stranded out there with no safe way to retreat. Having mom clamp down and forbid her to proceed might just give her the escape route she needs. I used to hang out with much older kids when I was in my early teens. 17 to 20, to my 13 or so. I was invited to a party at some guy's apartment, and knew there would be drugs and debauchery. I was afraid to decline, because I didn't want to lose my status as a "cool kid" with this group, however I was terrified that I'd get into a situation I couldn't handle. My difficult child-mom, for once in her life, didn't let me run wild as usual, and actually said no. I was able to tell them that I was benched and couldn't go out. I was so grateful, you have no idea. I wouldn't be surprised if to a certain extent your difficult child is feeling the same pressure. Hide the breakables, set the limits, and batten down the hatches. Trinity [/QUOTE]
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14 year old "dating" 19 year old - UHGHGH!!!
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