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14 year old "dating" 19 year old - UHGHGH!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 270918" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Maybe start off the conversation tonight if there is a blow out - by stating the rules of engagement. ie: fighting fair. </p><p> </p><p>You both should have input into this - </p><p> </p><p>No yelling - </p><p>No insults</p><p>NO BRINGING UP PAST ARGUMENTS - stay focused on the issue of TODAY. </p><p>No assuming</p><p>No namecalling</p><p>No ugly curse words</p><p>No throwing, hitting, breaking of things or slamming doors </p><p>No leaving the house, BUT do establish neutral corners so that if it gets too hairy you BOTH can throw in a white towel (literally) and go to your rooms or safe place where the other one can't hound or haunt the other.</p><p>Understanding what respect is, and silence while the other speaks</p><p> </p><p>If there is a threat of killing or suicide - know that 911 will be called and she will be transported. </p><p> </p><p>Ultimately - establish that YOU are the parent - but you want to hear her side of things. </p><p> </p><p>I get that she has anxiety to meet new people - but.....doesn't wash when she's solicitating a 19 year old person she has NEVER met to come LIVE in her house. I'm not buying the total package of social anxiety thing with her. I think she tipped her safety blanket when she said "Oh I don't know this person, but they are coming to live with us??? (sorry) </p><p> </p><p>Maybe the anxiety is with straight people or how she things she will be judged. That's why I suggested the alliance - BECAUSE there are older people there who have lived and survived what she's going through - </p><p> </p><p>I don't think it's a matter of "I'm gay, and confused." either. IF she says she's confused - then she's bi-curious. In which case she will STILL need a good roll model /older peer to help answer some questions.</p><p> </p><p>But do get the rules first.......then fight fair. </p><p> </p><p>Tell her at her age it's a lot more adult and productive to have a civil conversation rather than her blow up and act like a child over something that is a no-brainer for a parent. Then go from there.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 270918, member: 4964"] Maybe start off the conversation tonight if there is a blow out - by stating the rules of engagement. ie: fighting fair. You both should have input into this - No yelling - No insults NO BRINGING UP PAST ARGUMENTS - stay focused on the issue of TODAY. No assuming No namecalling No ugly curse words No throwing, hitting, breaking of things or slamming doors No leaving the house, BUT do establish neutral corners so that if it gets too hairy you BOTH can throw in a white towel (literally) and go to your rooms or safe place where the other one can't hound or haunt the other. Understanding what respect is, and silence while the other speaks If there is a threat of killing or suicide - know that 911 will be called and she will be transported. Ultimately - establish that YOU are the parent - but you want to hear her side of things. I get that she has anxiety to meet new people - but.....doesn't wash when she's solicitating a 19 year old person she has NEVER met to come LIVE in her house. I'm not buying the total package of social anxiety thing with her. I think she tipped her safety blanket when she said "Oh I don't know this person, but they are coming to live with us??? (sorry) Maybe the anxiety is with straight people or how she things she will be judged. That's why I suggested the alliance - BECAUSE there are older people there who have lived and survived what she's going through - I don't think it's a matter of "I'm gay, and confused." either. IF she says she's confused - then she's bi-curious. In which case she will STILL need a good roll model /older peer to help answer some questions. But do get the rules first.......then fight fair. Tell her at her age it's a lot more adult and productive to have a civil conversation rather than her blow up and act like a child over something that is a no-brainer for a parent. Then go from there. [/QUOTE]
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14 year old "dating" 19 year old - UHGHGH!!!
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