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14 year old "dating" 19 year old - UHGHGH!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 271142" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>It's possible that 19yo didn't realise how young your daughter really is, and actually is now showing some common sense.</p><p></p><p>I remember when I was 13, two friends of mine (also both 13) were each going out with 21 yo blokes in our church youth group. And the way they carried on, in public, I have no doubts as to what was probably going on at other times. If not actually goingon right then, certainly building up to it. And from how those girls ended up in life later on, they didn't have a good start.</p><p></p><p>They came from good families, but parents who really allowed far too much leeway and the girls only valued themselves for when the blokes around fancied them. And although I'm a lot more broadminded than I was then, I STILL say, for a 13 yo girl to be 'canoodling' with her guy so thoroughly in public that they're both acting as if there is nobody else in the room and they're of legal age - it's way too much. It was really embarrassing to watch, and you just couldn't talk to any of them, they were totally tuned out and only tuned in to each other. Public groping, etc. NOT good. And the age gap - also not good.</p><p></p><p>Girls tat age are generally not mature enough for anything long-term. My friends broke up with their guys after a few months and I think the blokes moved on to other more pliable girls.</p><p>But as to girls of 14 in long-term relationships - easy child first met BF1 (I still need to change my sig) when she was 14 and he was 15. OK, much more appropriate age gap. But the relationship has lasted, they got married last Friday. it was also a long-distance relationship for the first few years. We supported that (for a whole lot of reasons). Even though back then, we didn't feel they would ever end up together. We were wrong. But happy to be wrong.</p><p></p><p>I think you did the right thing sending that message to the 19 yo. If nothing else, hopefully it has saved her from making a very silly mistake.</p><p></p><p>A possible ground rule, especially given this breach of trust - no "locking out" of parents from websites, until the child is legally an adult. WHat do others think?</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 271142, member: 1991"] It's possible that 19yo didn't realise how young your daughter really is, and actually is now showing some common sense. I remember when I was 13, two friends of mine (also both 13) were each going out with 21 yo blokes in our church youth group. And the way they carried on, in public, I have no doubts as to what was probably going on at other times. If not actually goingon right then, certainly building up to it. And from how those girls ended up in life later on, they didn't have a good start. They came from good families, but parents who really allowed far too much leeway and the girls only valued themselves for when the blokes around fancied them. And although I'm a lot more broadminded than I was then, I STILL say, for a 13 yo girl to be 'canoodling' with her guy so thoroughly in public that they're both acting as if there is nobody else in the room and they're of legal age - it's way too much. It was really embarrassing to watch, and you just couldn't talk to any of them, they were totally tuned out and only tuned in to each other. Public groping, etc. NOT good. And the age gap - also not good. Girls tat age are generally not mature enough for anything long-term. My friends broke up with their guys after a few months and I think the blokes moved on to other more pliable girls. But as to girls of 14 in long-term relationships - easy child first met BF1 (I still need to change my sig) when she was 14 and he was 15. OK, much more appropriate age gap. But the relationship has lasted, they got married last Friday. it was also a long-distance relationship for the first few years. We supported that (for a whole lot of reasons). Even though back then, we didn't feel they would ever end up together. We were wrong. But happy to be wrong. I think you did the right thing sending that message to the 19 yo. If nothing else, hopefully it has saved her from making a very silly mistake. A possible ground rule, especially given this breach of trust - no "locking out" of parents from websites, until the child is legally an adult. WHat do others think? Marg [/QUOTE]
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