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General Parenting
15-year old son crashing and burning - unlurking
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 395304" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi and welcome to the board. If you've been reading, you probably know that I adopted four kids and that one got into drugs. We had no idea she was doing drugs and we couldn't prove it until she was busted for pot (and in actuality she was doing MUCH more than pot). Within the first paragraph I thought "drugs." I believe you need to assume that this likely is going on. Drastic changes tend to be drug-related in teens.</p><p></p><p>I do have a few questions to ask you that can help us help you. </p><p></p><p>1/What do you know about the psychiatric history of his birthparents? Is there a history of psychiatric disorders or substance abuse of any kind? Did his birthmother use drugs or drink during her pregnancy? If you don't know, can you find out?</p><p></p><p>2/Have you considered an evaluation now that he is older? Will he comply?</p><p></p><p>3/Would you be willing to drug test him? </p><p></p><p>4/Have his friends changed of late?</p><p></p><p>I did adopt one child who did not feel a part of our family and no longer sees us and he is Chinese, however we adopted him at age six. My other adopted kids are all close to us and they are different ethnicities. Two are African-American. But all k ids are different. Have you ever taken him to anybody who specializes in adopted kids and their issues? We found that helpful. Regular therapists didn't seem to know that much about adoption issues. Does he ever say he loves you?</p><p></p><p>Lastly, how was his early development. You say he met his milestones on time and can socialize well. Any quirks?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 395304, member: 1550"] Hi and welcome to the board. If you've been reading, you probably know that I adopted four kids and that one got into drugs. We had no idea she was doing drugs and we couldn't prove it until she was busted for pot (and in actuality she was doing MUCH more than pot). Within the first paragraph I thought "drugs." I believe you need to assume that this likely is going on. Drastic changes tend to be drug-related in teens. I do have a few questions to ask you that can help us help you. 1/What do you know about the psychiatric history of his birthparents? Is there a history of psychiatric disorders or substance abuse of any kind? Did his birthmother use drugs or drink during her pregnancy? If you don't know, can you find out? 2/Have you considered an evaluation now that he is older? Will he comply? 3/Would you be willing to drug test him? 4/Have his friends changed of late? I did adopt one child who did not feel a part of our family and no longer sees us and he is Chinese, however we adopted him at age six. My other adopted kids are all close to us and they are different ethnicities. Two are African-American. But all k ids are different. Have you ever taken him to anybody who specializes in adopted kids and their issues? We found that helpful. Regular therapists didn't seem to know that much about adoption issues. Does he ever say he loves you? Lastly, how was his early development. You say he met his milestones on time and can socialize well. Any quirks? [/QUOTE]
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15-year old son crashing and burning - unlurking
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