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General Parenting
15-year old son crashing and burning - unlurking
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<blockquote data-quote="DammitJanet" data-source="post: 395509" data-attributes="member: 1514"><p>Susie is right.</p><p></p><p>I had one of those kids who wasnt easy to control at all. He didnt do groundings. I was never able to just tell him "you're grounded. Stay in your room." He simply wouldnt comply. I had to leave the house sometime or sleep sometime, and then he left. I had to find more "unique" consequences. </p><p></p><p>Now one thing I didnt debate on was therapy, doctors or medications. It was a given. You did it or your life stopped. Mine never pushed me on that because I think they just knew I wasnt going to be moved on it. </p><p></p><p>I actually dont disagree with paying for grades and think I may have instituted a paycheck for my son if I had it to do over because he does so much better when working for pay. Something I have learned since he is an adult. He may have behaved better if he had been paid to behave better...who knows. </p><p></p><p>I do think you should attempt to not let him keep you so enmeshed but I know its hard. I am so enmeshed with my son...or was. It has taken me forever to loosen those ties.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DammitJanet, post: 395509, member: 1514"] Susie is right. I had one of those kids who wasnt easy to control at all. He didnt do groundings. I was never able to just tell him "you're grounded. Stay in your room." He simply wouldnt comply. I had to leave the house sometime or sleep sometime, and then he left. I had to find more "unique" consequences. Now one thing I didnt debate on was therapy, doctors or medications. It was a given. You did it or your life stopped. Mine never pushed me on that because I think they just knew I wasnt going to be moved on it. I actually dont disagree with paying for grades and think I may have instituted a paycheck for my son if I had it to do over because he does so much better when working for pay. Something I have learned since he is an adult. He may have behaved better if he had been paid to behave better...who knows. I do think you should attempt to not let him keep you so enmeshed but I know its hard. I am so enmeshed with my son...or was. It has taken me forever to loosen those ties. [/QUOTE]
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15-year old son crashing and burning - unlurking
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