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17 1/2 year old,needs to leave when 18...help
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 120645" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>When my drug abusing daughter (and it was much more than pot) wouldn't stop self-destructing at home, we made her leave and she was so angry she didn't want our help. She DID call her brother and he let her live at his place (which was a great relief to me as I really ditn't want her on the street, however her behavior was detrimental to my younger kids AND we could have been charged with drug possession since she snuck stuff into the house sometimes). Also didn't feel it was helping her to live at home. I wouldn't have paid for a room, however. I would have made her at least pay part of it herself (to assure she'd get a job). I wouldn't want to give her extra money to buy drugs with either. How does your son feel about leaving? Will he allow you to find resources for him to use or is he in self-destruct mode? (That's horrible, by the way. Almost killed me to watch my daughter self-destruct).</p><p>My daughter turned her life around while living with her brother. She is off drugs, even quit smoking cigarettes, and has gotten into health food and exercise. She is quite a different young adult than the wild kid she was, and we are VERY close (I just got off the phone with her). I do not recommend enabling grown kids who do drugs. in my opinion it's the worst thing you can do--it in my opinion and AA and NA's opinion--just encourages them to keep up the destructive behavior. I shudder when I hear of eighty year olds allowing their fifty year old drifter kids to still live with them and wonder if the adults would have turned out differently if they'd been forced out of the hearth and into independence...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 120645, member: 1550"] When my drug abusing daughter (and it was much more than pot) wouldn't stop self-destructing at home, we made her leave and she was so angry she didn't want our help. She DID call her brother and he let her live at his place (which was a great relief to me as I really ditn't want her on the street, however her behavior was detrimental to my younger kids AND we could have been charged with drug possession since she snuck stuff into the house sometimes). Also didn't feel it was helping her to live at home. I wouldn't have paid for a room, however. I would have made her at least pay part of it herself (to assure she'd get a job). I wouldn't want to give her extra money to buy drugs with either. How does your son feel about leaving? Will he allow you to find resources for him to use or is he in self-destruct mode? (That's horrible, by the way. Almost killed me to watch my daughter self-destruct). My daughter turned her life around while living with her brother. She is off drugs, even quit smoking cigarettes, and has gotten into health food and exercise. She is quite a different young adult than the wild kid she was, and we are VERY close (I just got off the phone with her). I do not recommend enabling grown kids who do drugs. in my opinion it's the worst thing you can do--it in my opinion and AA and NA's opinion--just encourages them to keep up the destructive behavior. I shudder when I hear of eighty year olds allowing their fifty year old drifter kids to still live with them and wonder if the adults would have turned out differently if they'd been forced out of the hearth and into independence... [/QUOTE]
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17 1/2 year old,needs to leave when 18...help
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