Hi and welcome! My difficult child's drug of choice is/was crystal meth. We went through sheer Hades here with her for many years. Probation, running away, police here all of the time. It was awful. Rehab won't take them - even as teens, if they do not want to be there. I felt so helpless. Then she was supposedly clean, wanted to come back home for Christmas, we relented and things were great for about a month. Then while she was out finishing her community service one day, I was pulling an outfit for her to wear to an interview I had arranged for her, I found a meth pipe laden in meth. I then told her that her options were rehab or out on her own. She could not live here until she had went through a treament program. She was 17 at the time. She chose to be on her own. She has been living a life that only my nightmares could have dreamed up. It has been over a year and a half. She is still couch surfing. Recently, she posted on Facebook that she was sick of living her life this way and had enough and had decided to get clean. I have seen her recently and have seen positive signs that she is for real this time, but I refuse to get my hopes up...
My point is, there really isn't anything you can do except give them the option for help when they decide to take it. Only they can make the decision to get clean. You need to protect you and your surroundings...it is the one thing you DO have control over. I can tell you this, as long as they have a nice comfy home and all their needs being met, they have NO reason to get clean. I am 100% positive that if I had allowed my daughter to keep living here she would be dead now. The only reason she contemplated getting clean (of course, I don't know for sure if she is, but the fact that she admits to her disease and makes claims or attempts to get clean is a step in the right direction), is because she has nothing. Nothing. She stays in motels if she is lucky enough to get her boyfriend to pay for them when they are not fighting. She has lived so miserably that I think it is finally starting to get to her. It is the ONLY thing that has made any difference as sad as that is.
Please seek out a support group - it really helps to know that 1, you are not alone and 2, confirmation that going against every natural instinct to coddle and protect is actually the best thing you can do for your addict.
And please keep coming back - this is a really, really awesome support group for us parents!!