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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
19 year old
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 525294"><p>I feel for you..... and it is hard to know if this is a phase or if he will go on to other drugs. My son will use anything to get high and has I believe, but he started with the pot when he was much younger (9th grade). One thing is that pot saps your energy and drive.... creates apathy so you just don't care. I think that is why as someone said most habitual pot smokers are underacheivers.</p><p></p><p>However my suggestion is don't make the issue "pot smoking" per se. He will just think you are out of touch with todays world and probably will not pay any attention to you anyway and really it is very hard to enforce a rule that says you can't smoke pot or do drugs. Even with drug tests there are ways around them and if he want sto use he will find a way to do it and get around you... and there are plenty of OTC things and other things that don't show up on drug tests. I know my son has done a number of them...</p><p></p><p>What I do suggest, and it sounds like you are doing this, is setting up clear boundaries for yourself and some clear expectations for when you will help him. So yes NO pot smoking on your property, in your shed or anywhere else that is your property. I don't know what state you live in but you don't want to be responsible for pot smoking etc. on your property. So yes enforce that limit. And then set up some expectations for him to continue to live there... ie he needs to be working and/or going to school adn doing reasonably well. Sleeping all day and partying all night is not an option if he is to live with you. Fact is if he is really working or going to school and doing his school work he wont have as much time to smoke pot and do nothing and that would be a good thing.</p><p></p><p>And definitely don't let him try to guilt trip you or twist things around into your problem. This is your home and to live there he needs to meet your expectations and rules.</p><p></p><p>I guess bottom line is you can have a rule about no pot smoking at your house but it is really hard to enforce a rule that says no pot smoking anywhere.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 525294"] I feel for you..... and it is hard to know if this is a phase or if he will go on to other drugs. My son will use anything to get high and has I believe, but he started with the pot when he was much younger (9th grade). One thing is that pot saps your energy and drive.... creates apathy so you just don't care. I think that is why as someone said most habitual pot smokers are underacheivers. However my suggestion is don't make the issue "pot smoking" per se. He will just think you are out of touch with todays world and probably will not pay any attention to you anyway and really it is very hard to enforce a rule that says you can't smoke pot or do drugs. Even with drug tests there are ways around them and if he want sto use he will find a way to do it and get around you... and there are plenty of OTC things and other things that don't show up on drug tests. I know my son has done a number of them... What I do suggest, and it sounds like you are doing this, is setting up clear boundaries for yourself and some clear expectations for when you will help him. So yes NO pot smoking on your property, in your shed or anywhere else that is your property. I don't know what state you live in but you don't want to be responsible for pot smoking etc. on your property. So yes enforce that limit. And then set up some expectations for him to continue to live there... ie he needs to be working and/or going to school adn doing reasonably well. Sleeping all day and partying all night is not an option if he is to live with you. Fact is if he is really working or going to school and doing his school work he wont have as much time to smoke pot and do nothing and that would be a good thing. And definitely don't let him try to guilt trip you or twist things around into your problem. This is your home and to live there he needs to meet your expectations and rules. I guess bottom line is you can have a rule about no pot smoking at your house but it is really hard to enforce a rule that says no pot smoking anywhere. TL [/QUOTE]
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