Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
1st Grade and Suspended twice already :\
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 582579" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I'll throw a few ideas around here. I do not 100% understand your son's story, but I will do the best I can. And, while maybe some of your choices could have been better, this isn't your fault. Most likely he was born wired differently and he would have been this way no matter what. However, in my opinion there WERE some things that could have been different, but no point in overthinking now since all of us were young parents once and made mistakes. Hindsight is wonderful. So don't take any of this as criticism of you.</p><p></p><p>It seems that you and his bio. father fought in front of him and you tried to stop it, but you couldn't and he saw the abuse. Is this right? If so, there's one trauma right there. I am unclear whether the son was a part of the abuse. It does seem that bio. dad has issues of his own.</p><p></p><p>Next, it seems, you are going to school and in the military and leaving him with same violent bio. dad. Two things happened there. First of all, his stability was uprooted by going to live with somebody other than you and his father allegedly abused him. Not good. So when he came back to you, his living situation changed yet again and he had been abused. Constantly changing a young child's living situation can lead to attachment issues, plus obviously both bio. Dad and you have issues that he may or may not have inherited.</p><p></p><p>I wouldn't even CARE what teachers and parents think of your son. What I'd focus on is getting help for him. He does not have to turn out like you or his bio. dad. The very first thing I'd do is to sign him up for a neuropsychologist evaluation for an intensive look at what his issues may be and advice on what to do to help. I wouldn't 100% rule out medications, but for now you don't have to think about them. However, your son may need interventions that will help him calm down so he doesn't hit. Hitting other kids is a big problem. I had one kid who did it. It has to be stopped, but your child is most likely "differently wired" and normal discipline probably won't help him. I especially urge you not to spank him. That won't do it at all. </p><p></p><p>Rather than worrying about what may happen in twenty years, I'd focus on how you can help him NOW and the first thing you can do is get a neuropsychologist evaluation to see how his brain works. Do not think you can fix this yourself or with just the help of an average therapist or, heaven help us, the school. The school is full of great educators, but they do not know how to diagnose or treat childhood disorders and don't let them tell you they do. </p><p></p><p>I'm going to give you a link to attachment disorder. I don't know if h e has it, but it's something in my opinion you should at least be aware of. I think there are a lot of things going on and you just have to peel the onion, like the rest of us and never give up hope. Here is an attachment disorder link. See if you think this fits and may be part of the puzzle:</p><p></p><p><a href="http://www.helpguide.org/mental/parenting_bonding_reactive_attachment_disorder.htm" target="_blank">http://www.helpguide.org/mental/parenting_bonding_reactive_attachment_disorder.htm</a></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 582579, member: 1550"] I'll throw a few ideas around here. I do not 100% understand your son's story, but I will do the best I can. And, while maybe some of your choices could have been better, this isn't your fault. Most likely he was born wired differently and he would have been this way no matter what. However, in my opinion there WERE some things that could have been different, but no point in overthinking now since all of us were young parents once and made mistakes. Hindsight is wonderful. So don't take any of this as criticism of you. It seems that you and his bio. father fought in front of him and you tried to stop it, but you couldn't and he saw the abuse. Is this right? If so, there's one trauma right there. I am unclear whether the son was a part of the abuse. It does seem that bio. dad has issues of his own. Next, it seems, you are going to school and in the military and leaving him with same violent bio. dad. Two things happened there. First of all, his stability was uprooted by going to live with somebody other than you and his father allegedly abused him. Not good. So when he came back to you, his living situation changed yet again and he had been abused. Constantly changing a young child's living situation can lead to attachment issues, plus obviously both bio. Dad and you have issues that he may or may not have inherited. I wouldn't even CARE what teachers and parents think of your son. What I'd focus on is getting help for him. He does not have to turn out like you or his bio. dad. The very first thing I'd do is to sign him up for a neuropsychologist evaluation for an intensive look at what his issues may be and advice on what to do to help. I wouldn't 100% rule out medications, but for now you don't have to think about them. However, your son may need interventions that will help him calm down so he doesn't hit. Hitting other kids is a big problem. I had one kid who did it. It has to be stopped, but your child is most likely "differently wired" and normal discipline probably won't help him. I especially urge you not to spank him. That won't do it at all. Rather than worrying about what may happen in twenty years, I'd focus on how you can help him NOW and the first thing you can do is get a neuropsychologist evaluation to see how his brain works. Do not think you can fix this yourself or with just the help of an average therapist or, heaven help us, the school. The school is full of great educators, but they do not know how to diagnose or treat childhood disorders and don't let them tell you they do. I'm going to give you a link to attachment disorder. I don't know if h e has it, but it's something in my opinion you should at least be aware of. I think there are a lot of things going on and you just have to peel the onion, like the rest of us and never give up hope. Here is an attachment disorder link. See if you think this fits and may be part of the puzzle: [URL]http://www.helpguide.org/mental/parenting_bonding_reactive_attachment_disorder.htm[/URL] [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
1st Grade and Suspended twice already :\
Top