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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 305746" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Welcome! I'm a single mom also and my son started exhibited major diffficulty about the time he turned 11 yo. Apparently, becoming old enough for hormones to start kicking into gear (not the sex part- the mental part) and the fact that this is when kids really start feeling more rejection and abandonment from absent fathers really takes a toll on some of them- particularly the boys. It helped a lot, although it didn't completely solve things, to handle things very differently than I had before. I started just taking my sone out to the park to go for a walk and did not lecture him or ask him questions or anything like that. I was nice and just told him that I loved him and was there if he wanted to talk to me- that I would listen. He did eventually start talking to me. Again, we still have major issues off and on and we are not sure of his diagnosis right now, but opening the lines of communication helped a great deal. Also, even when tho the behavior has been horrible, taking the focus off punishment for bad behavior and starting to support communicating about things and problem-solving has helped a lot.</p><p></p><p>That being said- my son is currently incarcerated for pulling a knife on me so I don't want to come across like I have all the answers. I don't. My son is now 14yo and it's a struggle. But, I can see that he matures and does well for months and then just loses it all- which unfortunately, is still better than the chaos we were living with continuously for months when this all first started.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 305746, member: 3699"] Welcome! I'm a single mom also and my son started exhibited major diffficulty about the time he turned 11 yo. Apparently, becoming old enough for hormones to start kicking into gear (not the sex part- the mental part) and the fact that this is when kids really start feeling more rejection and abandonment from absent fathers really takes a toll on some of them- particularly the boys. It helped a lot, although it didn't completely solve things, to handle things very differently than I had before. I started just taking my sone out to the park to go for a walk and did not lecture him or ask him questions or anything like that. I was nice and just told him that I loved him and was there if he wanted to talk to me- that I would listen. He did eventually start talking to me. Again, we still have major issues off and on and we are not sure of his diagnosis right now, but opening the lines of communication helped a great deal. Also, even when tho the behavior has been horrible, taking the focus off punishment for bad behavior and starting to support communicating about things and problem-solving has helped a lot. That being said- my son is currently incarcerated for pulling a knife on me so I don't want to come across like I have all the answers. I don't. My son is now 14yo and it's a struggle. But, I can see that he matures and does well for months and then just loses it all- which unfortunately, is still better than the chaos we were living with continuously for months when this all first started. [/QUOTE]
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