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<blockquote data-quote="mom_to_3" data-source="post: 250278" data-attributes="member: 30"><p>klmno, with a lot of compassion in saying this, it seems as though you are over analyzing and have huge anxiety over this evaluation. In my eyes, (not that I am the end all or be all) If I were a judge and court ordered an evaluation and that person refused to have it done, I would personally be MORE suspicious of that person. What are they trying to hide? </p><p></p><p>I don't think you are meaning to do this, but from *my* view, it seems like you are fighting against EVERYONE and trying to control everything that happens to your son. The powers that be WILL see you as the enemy and I don't believe you will be heard because of that. I also don't mean this rudely at all, and of course I could be wrong, but it appears to me that your anxiety is causing you to run in 50 thousand directions to no avail. </p><p></p><p>Your son is in the system and he needed to be. That doesn't mean that you are no longer his mother and that you shouldn't have some kind of input. But I do know that all of these caseworkers, po's, gal's, ect. and the judge have a job to do, and they will do it, and you will not be able to control them or control every aspect of your son's life right now. </p><p></p><p>Also remember that I am the mother of a 24 yr. old difficult child and a grandmother to a 5 yr. old difficult child and guess what? I <strong>STILL</strong> have not figured out how to make them easy child's or even something in between! So, I'm right there with you and feel that I can say, what you were doing at home wasn't working. (I didn't manage that feat either)Yes, your son does need help and yes, what he did to you on numerous occasions was seriously wrong. He definitely needs to have a consequence. It won't be pleasant I'm sure and it will hurt you, but HE needs this. It's my opinion that he's been handled with kid gloves really for his violent acts against you and your home and his defiance against you. It's better that he learn that now than even one year later.</p><p></p><p>As parents, we can't make everything okay for our children. Nor should we. You fought the good fight for your son and you should be proud of that. Now, you're going to have to chill, (did I really just say that) take care of your self, and go along with the program for the most part. If you are compliant for the most part, I would think that when you DID speak, you would be heard.</p><p></p><p>Also as far as the psychiatric. evaluation? We have dragged our children from place to place, having them evaluated one way or another right? Isn't is only fair that we make ourselves available to what we expect of our children?</p><p></p><p>You can take this or leave it whatever helps you most, it's only my opinion. I do hope you find some kind of peace soon.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mom_to_3, post: 250278, member: 30"] klmno, with a lot of compassion in saying this, it seems as though you are over analyzing and have huge anxiety over this evaluation. In my eyes, (not that I am the end all or be all) If I were a judge and court ordered an evaluation and that person refused to have it done, I would personally be MORE suspicious of that person. What are they trying to hide? I don't think you are meaning to do this, but from *my* view, it seems like you are fighting against EVERYONE and trying to control everything that happens to your son. The powers that be WILL see you as the enemy and I don't believe you will be heard because of that. I also don't mean this rudely at all, and of course I could be wrong, but it appears to me that your anxiety is causing you to run in 50 thousand directions to no avail. Your son is in the system and he needed to be. That doesn't mean that you are no longer his mother and that you shouldn't have some kind of input. But I do know that all of these caseworkers, po's, gal's, ect. and the judge have a job to do, and they will do it, and you will not be able to control them or control every aspect of your son's life right now. Also remember that I am the mother of a 24 yr. old difficult child and a grandmother to a 5 yr. old difficult child and guess what? I [B]STILL[/B] have not figured out how to make them easy child's or even something in between! So, I'm right there with you and feel that I can say, what you were doing at home wasn't working. (I didn't manage that feat either)Yes, your son does need help and yes, what he did to you on numerous occasions was seriously wrong. He definitely needs to have a consequence. It won't be pleasant I'm sure and it will hurt you, but HE needs this. It's my opinion that he's been handled with kid gloves really for his violent acts against you and your home and his defiance against you. It's better that he learn that now than even one year later. As parents, we can't make everything okay for our children. Nor should we. You fought the good fight for your son and you should be proud of that. Now, you're going to have to chill, (did I really just say that) take care of your self, and go along with the program for the most part. If you are compliant for the most part, I would think that when you DID speak, you would be heard. Also as far as the psychiatric. evaluation? We have dragged our children from place to place, having them evaluated one way or another right? Isn't is only fair that we make ourselves available to what we expect of our children? You can take this or leave it whatever helps you most, it's only my opinion. I do hope you find some kind of peace soon. [/QUOTE]
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