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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 250438" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Well I feel horrible now about the the kissing when difficult child was little. I hope everyone here understands that even then, it was not anything other than parent-child affection with no perverse thoughts at all involved. It was that way when I was little and I really had no idea that this was not acceptable. I remember my mom giving me a peck on the lips when I was very young on certain occassions, and the other way around, and I never thought of it as anything more than affection.</p><p></p><p>I could have the evaluation done indepently, but I would have to pay for it- apparently insurance won't cover it. I am going to let them know that I had already started seeing a therapist. Apparently, that was an issue with some- I guess they thought that I was just blaming everything on difficult child having a mental illness and not considering that maybe I needed a therapist or was refusing to get myself involved in any way. That isn't true and the judge does already know that. But, as an example, when I'm nervious my hands shake. My father had the same problem. I choose not to take medications for it and quite frankly doubt that they would work, but seriously, it harms no one so I don't care. They could decide to order me to take medications for it. The test they wanted to do would in no way be able to determine in what areas or how my personality might be affecting difficult child. The more I read about it, the more ridiculous it seemed, given exactly what they were going to do.</p><p></p><p>I can see how it happened- the order just says it's a criminal case, not a custody case. This, of course, is true, but it's difficult child's criminal act, not mine. It says psychiatric test request for parent of juvenile. The only clarification given, if any, would have been an explanation from mst guy to the testor. The mst guy always felt thet difficult child just needed a behavior contract and better parenting and he would have no more problems and would probably be able to come off medications- yes he actually said that. And it was made clear to me that all those in the probation area (PO, mst, super) felt that difficult child had no mental illness, the problem was just me. So if I got a written test by a testor who had no information on me except that and the test is one that takes judgement from testor to determine problem areas, it is extremely dangerous, in my humble opinion.</p><p></p><p>I doubt I'd have too much trouble defending that in court, if I could afford an attny. If I get chraged, I think they might have to allow an attny if my finances qualify and they do. And I do plan to make it clear- I have no problem with a complete assessment by qualified people to see if I'm doing something that is contributing to difficult child's problems. I think that would be more appropriate to be done by people who understand difficult child's issues, though, and they have contracted with difficult child's current treatment team, so if they'll accept those people assessing me (to inclulde my history, etc), I am fine with that. But I would still have a problem with them requiring me to take medications for something clearly unrelated to difficult child- like my hands shaking.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 250438, member: 3699"] Well I feel horrible now about the the kissing when difficult child was little. I hope everyone here understands that even then, it was not anything other than parent-child affection with no perverse thoughts at all involved. It was that way when I was little and I really had no idea that this was not acceptable. I remember my mom giving me a peck on the lips when I was very young on certain occassions, and the other way around, and I never thought of it as anything more than affection. I could have the evaluation done indepently, but I would have to pay for it- apparently insurance won't cover it. I am going to let them know that I had already started seeing a therapist. Apparently, that was an issue with some- I guess they thought that I was just blaming everything on difficult child having a mental illness and not considering that maybe I needed a therapist or was refusing to get myself involved in any way. That isn't true and the judge does already know that. But, as an example, when I'm nervious my hands shake. My father had the same problem. I choose not to take medications for it and quite frankly doubt that they would work, but seriously, it harms no one so I don't care. They could decide to order me to take medications for it. The test they wanted to do would in no way be able to determine in what areas or how my personality might be affecting difficult child. The more I read about it, the more ridiculous it seemed, given exactly what they were going to do. I can see how it happened- the order just says it's a criminal case, not a custody case. This, of course, is true, but it's difficult child's criminal act, not mine. It says psychiatric test request for parent of juvenile. The only clarification given, if any, would have been an explanation from mst guy to the testor. The mst guy always felt thet difficult child just needed a behavior contract and better parenting and he would have no more problems and would probably be able to come off medications- yes he actually said that. And it was made clear to me that all those in the probation area (PO, mst, super) felt that difficult child had no mental illness, the problem was just me. So if I got a written test by a testor who had no information on me except that and the test is one that takes judgement from testor to determine problem areas, it is extremely dangerous, in my humble opinion. I doubt I'd have too much trouble defending that in court, if I could afford an attny. If I get chraged, I think they might have to allow an attny if my finances qualify and they do. And I do plan to make it clear- I have no problem with a complete assessment by qualified people to see if I'm doing something that is contributing to difficult child's problems. I think that would be more appropriate to be done by people who understand difficult child's issues, though, and they have contracted with difficult child's current treatment team, so if they'll accept those people assessing me (to inclulde my history, etc), I am fine with that. But I would still have a problem with them requiring me to take medications for something clearly unrelated to difficult child- like my hands shaking. [/QUOTE]
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