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Substance Abuse
20 yr.difficult child says he's clean...what about disrespect
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 630903" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>No. You aren't doing these things. Your son is. He is an adult making poor choices. There are immature young adults who still work and don't mouth off to those who love them, but your son is choosing to stay a drug addict. If he would make better choices, he would have more friends and wouldn't be going to court. Until HE (not you) chooses to get serious about his drug habit and joining normal society, his life is going to be crappy, but he is the one who has to straighten out, not you. He won't even admit he has a drug problem. How is that your fault? Unless you inject him with drugs while putting a gun to his head, it is not your fault.</p><p></p><p>Have you gone to a therapist yet? Made an appointment? Why not try doing something nice for yourself today so that you don't think about your son for a while? I know first hand that ruminating over anything doesn't change it and have learned to try to let go of things I can't control and to enjoy myself in spite of situations that are not pleasing to me. And it may really help if you stopped telling your son what to do. Trust me, life itself will show him natural consequences. Then it's up to him to decide what to do about his own self made problems. Many of us have learned not to engage our adult children who are making terrible life choices. It just throws fuel on the fire and it doesn't help and it's makes us stressed. You don't deserve to be stressed. Let it go.</p><p></p><p>As for disrespect, if my son is disrespectful to me, I have learned to hang up the phone. Now he is states away, but if he lived here, I would tell him to leave my house until he can speak to me as nicely as I speak to him and I would mean it. At first my son thought I was bluffing. When he found out just how much I meant it, he really did stop the disrespect most of the time. I wouldn't let others talk to me that way. Why should he get a pass?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 630903, member: 1550"] No. You aren't doing these things. Your son is. He is an adult making poor choices. There are immature young adults who still work and don't mouth off to those who love them, but your son is choosing to stay a drug addict. If he would make better choices, he would have more friends and wouldn't be going to court. Until HE (not you) chooses to get serious about his drug habit and joining normal society, his life is going to be crappy, but he is the one who has to straighten out, not you. He won't even admit he has a drug problem. How is that your fault? Unless you inject him with drugs while putting a gun to his head, it is not your fault. Have you gone to a therapist yet? Made an appointment? Why not try doing something nice for yourself today so that you don't think about your son for a while? I know first hand that ruminating over anything doesn't change it and have learned to try to let go of things I can't control and to enjoy myself in spite of situations that are not pleasing to me. And it may really help if you stopped telling your son what to do. Trust me, life itself will show him natural consequences. Then it's up to him to decide what to do about his own self made problems. Many of us have learned not to engage our adult children who are making terrible life choices. It just throws fuel on the fire and it doesn't help and it's makes us stressed. You don't deserve to be stressed. Let it go. As for disrespect, if my son is disrespectful to me, I have learned to hang up the phone. Now he is states away, but if he lived here, I would tell him to leave my house until he can speak to me as nicely as I speak to him and I would mean it. At first my son thought I was bluffing. When he found out just how much I meant it, he really did stop the disrespect most of the time. I wouldn't let others talk to me that way. Why should he get a pass? [/QUOTE]
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20 yr.difficult child says he's clean...what about disrespect
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