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Substance Abuse
20 yr old son smoking pot and has cut off contact with us
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<blockquote data-quote="Calamity Jane" data-source="post: 555218" data-attributes="member: 13882"><p>Hi mdean and welcome,</p><p>First of all, I'm sorry for what you're going through, and you will find many understanding people on this board who have been there done that.</p><p></p><p>It is clear that although your son is 20 and chronologically an adult, his pot use has stunted his maturity development, and he acts more like a stubborn, foul mouthed child than a grown man. Until he chooses to stop using pot (and any other substance he may be using) the drugs will always come first - he is living in a fantasy world and it WILL catch up with him. It is not your job nor your husband's job to interfere with the natural consequences of his actions (I know that sounds easier said than done - you are doing great so far.)</p><p></p><p>There's nothing else you can do, but encourage and support his sobriety. If he chooses to to ignore your pleas, it is HIS choice. You can choose to keep your home a sanctuary and believe me, you will enjoy the peace in your home, although you will miss the person your son once was. Personally, if his girlfriend's parents eventually make him leave their home, I would not allow him to return to your home without giving up drugs. Otherwise, he will continue to steal from you and ruin your lives.</p><p></p><p>I don't know if you have any other children in your home, but if so, this would not be a good environment for the child(ren). I am sorry he is responsible along with his girlfriend for bringing another child into the world who will be victimized by parental drug use. I sincerely hope he realizes his errors and makes a complete turnaround.</p><p></p><p>Continue posting here - we're here for support. It is good to see that you and your husband are seeking counseling, too. That's extremely important.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Calamity Jane, post: 555218, member: 13882"] Hi mdean and welcome, First of all, I'm sorry for what you're going through, and you will find many understanding people on this board who have been there done that. It is clear that although your son is 20 and chronologically an adult, his pot use has stunted his maturity development, and he acts more like a stubborn, foul mouthed child than a grown man. Until he chooses to stop using pot (and any other substance he may be using) the drugs will always come first - he is living in a fantasy world and it WILL catch up with him. It is not your job nor your husband's job to interfere with the natural consequences of his actions (I know that sounds easier said than done - you are doing great so far.) There's nothing else you can do, but encourage and support his sobriety. If he chooses to to ignore your pleas, it is HIS choice. You can choose to keep your home a sanctuary and believe me, you will enjoy the peace in your home, although you will miss the person your son once was. Personally, if his girlfriend's parents eventually make him leave their home, I would not allow him to return to your home without giving up drugs. Otherwise, he will continue to steal from you and ruin your lives. I don't know if you have any other children in your home, but if so, this would not be a good environment for the child(ren). I am sorry he is responsible along with his girlfriend for bringing another child into the world who will be victimized by parental drug use. I sincerely hope he realizes his errors and makes a complete turnaround. Continue posting here - we're here for support. It is good to see that you and your husband are seeking counseling, too. That's extremely important. [/QUOTE]
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20 yr old son smoking pot and has cut off contact with us
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