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Substance Abuse
20 yr old son smoking pot and has cut off contact with us
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 555247"><p>i too am sorry you are going through this and had to find us. Your story is similar to mine, although at least so far and as far as i know I dont have an upcoming grandchild. However we have been there with the drug use and currently my son is living in another state, somewhere and maybe with someone. I really dont know. The only way I know how he is doing is through facebook. However he is at times communicating with me via facebook and I at least can send him messages that way. It is totally heartbreaking. My son has also been through a whole lot of treatment programs and rehabs and so we have been down that road a lot. He is almost 21....and I have come to the place that there really is othing more I can do except let him know that i love him, which I do.</p><p></p><p>Early on my son was very angry with us and any communication we had was only when he wanted something and he was extremely entitled and i felt we might never have a relationship. In the last few months that has changed a bit, I am no longer trying to help him or give him any advice. He is making contact with me, now and then and i do have hope of a future relationship IF he ever gets clean.</p><p></p><p>My suggestion to you is to keep texting your son, with very simple messages letting him know you are thinking about him but nothing more. Dont offer to help or to rescue him but do let him know you love him. </p><p></p><p>Do you have any kind of connection to the girls mother? I am sure when that baby comes that they are going to want some kind of help.... depending on what the mother is like you might want to connect with her directly to let her know you are there for the baby. Now I also recognize that in some circumstances you might not want to do this...a lot depends on what she is like.</p><p></p><p>Keep coming to the board for support. We all understand.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 555247"] i too am sorry you are going through this and had to find us. Your story is similar to mine, although at least so far and as far as i know I dont have an upcoming grandchild. However we have been there with the drug use and currently my son is living in another state, somewhere and maybe with someone. I really dont know. The only way I know how he is doing is through facebook. However he is at times communicating with me via facebook and I at least can send him messages that way. It is totally heartbreaking. My son has also been through a whole lot of treatment programs and rehabs and so we have been down that road a lot. He is almost 21....and I have come to the place that there really is othing more I can do except let him know that i love him, which I do. Early on my son was very angry with us and any communication we had was only when he wanted something and he was extremely entitled and i felt we might never have a relationship. In the last few months that has changed a bit, I am no longer trying to help him or give him any advice. He is making contact with me, now and then and i do have hope of a future relationship IF he ever gets clean. My suggestion to you is to keep texting your son, with very simple messages letting him know you are thinking about him but nothing more. Dont offer to help or to rescue him but do let him know you love him. Do you have any kind of connection to the girls mother? I am sure when that baby comes that they are going to want some kind of help.... depending on what the mother is like you might want to connect with her directly to let her know you are there for the baby. Now I also recognize that in some circumstances you might not want to do this...a lot depends on what she is like. Keep coming to the board for support. We all understand. TL [/QUOTE]
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20 yr old son smoking pot and has cut off contact with us
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