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24yr old daughter on hospice homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 704286" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Sam: There are no words to express how sorry I am. Because I have a son who has been homeless and mentally ill with a chronic illness for which he is indifferent about receiving treatment, this is my nightmare. The one think I believe I could never face, but realize I may. Any parent may.This is bullshxt. My mother went on hospice the day before she died and the hospice troupe came to the house. I felt very pressured by one person who believed she was g-d himself.</p><p></p><p>She told me "<em>well, it seems like you are not ready for hospice</em>."</p><p><em></em></p><p><em>On the contrary</em>, I said, <em>I think you might consider if you are appropriate to work in hospice care, if you are unwilling to hear anybody's voice except your own.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p>Banish the guilt. I can see it clearly. There are millions and millions of people who die as indigents. Hospitals cannot turn them back into the street if nobody accepts them. There was a few day period when I did not accept my mother back, because I believe she had not been provided the necessary treatments. It was not lack of love or care for my mother.</p><p></p><p>They have no moral power over you and no legal power either.</p><p></p><p>Your story illustrates the position that all of us are in. We love children who hurt themselves and hurt others. Nothing ever diminishes our love for them, at heart. But each of us faces having to decide about limits and boundaries. The reality for each of us, is we fear that our children will stay alive, every day. We do that because we know the ever lurking reality we face that our situation will be your own.</p><p></p><p>I sometimes have a fantasy that should my child die before me, I would bring him home and all of the love that I have felt for him would return in that time, and that his love for me would return too, and all our love would illuminate all of the darkness in which we have lived. It is that, a fantasy.</p><p></p><p>Your daughter knows you love her. She has always known. My son too knows I love him. That is the beginning and the end of the story.</p><p></p><p>Life is about love but it is also about realities to be faced. Sometimes it feels like the horror of reality is so great that it will kill us and we wish it would. I have gone through a period like this. With great guilt and responsibility thrown into the mix.</p><p></p><p>You are going through such an ordeal, a trial by fire. And you have been unflinching in your commitment to do the right thing, by everybody.</p><p></p><p>You are doing every single thing a loving mother would do.</p><p></p><p>You are standing strong for your daughter and your family and yourself. I so admire you for how you stay in the present and handle everything as it comes, investigating options, open to all, and doing the best you can. Nobody could do better.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 704286, member: 18958"] Sam: There are no words to express how sorry I am. Because I have a son who has been homeless and mentally ill with a chronic illness for which he is indifferent about receiving treatment, this is my nightmare. The one think I believe I could never face, but realize I may. Any parent may.This is bullshxt. My mother went on hospice the day before she died and the hospice troupe came to the house. I felt very pressured by one person who believed she was g-d himself. She told me "[I]well, it seems like you are not ready for hospice[/I]." [I] On the contrary[/I], I said, [I]I think you might consider if you are appropriate to work in hospice care, if you are unwilling to hear anybody's voice except your own. [/I] Banish the guilt. I can see it clearly. There are millions and millions of people who die as indigents. Hospitals cannot turn them back into the street if nobody accepts them. There was a few day period when I did not accept my mother back, because I believe she had not been provided the necessary treatments. It was not lack of love or care for my mother. They have no moral power over you and no legal power either. Your story illustrates the position that all of us are in. We love children who hurt themselves and hurt others. Nothing ever diminishes our love for them, at heart. But each of us faces having to decide about limits and boundaries. The reality for each of us, is we fear that our children will stay alive, every day. We do that because we know the ever lurking reality we face that our situation will be your own. I sometimes have a fantasy that should my child die before me, I would bring him home and all of the love that I have felt for him would return in that time, and that his love for me would return too, and all our love would illuminate all of the darkness in which we have lived. It is that, a fantasy. Your daughter knows you love her. She has always known. My son too knows I love him. That is the beginning and the end of the story. Life is about love but it is also about realities to be faced. Sometimes it feels like the horror of reality is so great that it will kill us and we wish it would. I have gone through a period like this. With great guilt and responsibility thrown into the mix. You are going through such an ordeal, a trial by fire. And you have been unflinching in your commitment to do the right thing, by everybody. You are doing every single thing a loving mother would do. You are standing strong for your daughter and your family and yourself. I so admire you for how you stay in the present and handle everything as it comes, investigating options, open to all, and doing the best you can. Nobody could do better. [/QUOTE]
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