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Substance Abuse
25 year old and 30 year old boys still at home.
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<blockquote data-quote="Tiredof33" data-source="post: 521616" data-attributes="member: 13558"><p>I grew up in poverty the oldest of 6 and an alcoholic father I never liked, so I also wanted so much more for my children. And in my opinion I tried very hard, but, you never know what THEY think.</p><p></p><p>I married young and the father was not around very long. When we met in high school he was nothing like he turned 3 years into our marriage. Looking back now I think drugs were a huge problem.</p><p></p><p>My daughter had a serious brush with the law that literally scared her straight. Nothing scares my son, he doesn't learn from his bad experiences. He is in one bad relationship after another.</p><p></p><p>He started drugs at a very young age and has been in many programs, 2 court ordered rehabs. I tried tough love and it only made him worse. He stole everything from me and helped his friends still from me. I was lucky to get a transfer 20 miles away from him. After 20 years single I met a wonderful man, no one wanted to get into a relationship with the **** my son was pulling!</p><p></p><p>Recently at 33 yo he quit his job to go to school full time. He was on the Dean's List, but who did he think was going to support him?? The 37yo he was livng with was the worse yet. I met her 1 time in 2 years and I had to call the police to stop he harrassment.</p><p></p><p>They party alot, fight a lot, he threatens suicide and cuts himself. He (and her) were conning me for about 4 months and I fell for it. Then she tried to kill him and she was sent to detox and he was kicked out.</p><p></p><p>As much as it hurt I deserve a better life and he may be like this for the rest of his life. That is his choice. You are not talking about young boys in your household, they are adults. You are at an age where you should be planning for retirement, not still supporting grown men. You can not make your sons go for any kind of treatment and you will not be informed, or involved unless they want you to. Read through the posts on this forum and you will read of the frustration of parents trying to help their adult children.</p><p></p><p>This book is free online and was the first I read and it has helped me a lot. Any book you read and any counselor is going to tell you to get them out of your house, they have to learn to support themselves. All will tell you to detach and let them love their lives. Mine may be homeless at this point, but that is his choice!</p><p><a href="http://www.support4change.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=131&Itemid=177" target="_blank">http://www.support4change.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=131&Itemid=177</a></p><p>(((blessings for us all)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tiredof33, post: 521616, member: 13558"] I grew up in poverty the oldest of 6 and an alcoholic father I never liked, so I also wanted so much more for my children. And in my opinion I tried very hard, but, you never know what THEY think. I married young and the father was not around very long. When we met in high school he was nothing like he turned 3 years into our marriage. Looking back now I think drugs were a huge problem. My daughter had a serious brush with the law that literally scared her straight. Nothing scares my son, he doesn't learn from his bad experiences. He is in one bad relationship after another. He started drugs at a very young age and has been in many programs, 2 court ordered rehabs. I tried tough love and it only made him worse. He stole everything from me and helped his friends still from me. I was lucky to get a transfer 20 miles away from him. After 20 years single I met a wonderful man, no one wanted to get into a relationship with the **** my son was pulling! Recently at 33 yo he quit his job to go to school full time. He was on the Dean's List, but who did he think was going to support him?? The 37yo he was livng with was the worse yet. I met her 1 time in 2 years and I had to call the police to stop he harrassment. They party alot, fight a lot, he threatens suicide and cuts himself. He (and her) were conning me for about 4 months and I fell for it. Then she tried to kill him and she was sent to detox and he was kicked out. As much as it hurt I deserve a better life and he may be like this for the rest of his life. That is his choice. You are not talking about young boys in your household, they are adults. You are at an age where you should be planning for retirement, not still supporting grown men. You can not make your sons go for any kind of treatment and you will not be informed, or involved unless they want you to. Read through the posts on this forum and you will read of the frustration of parents trying to help their adult children. This book is free online and was the first I read and it has helped me a lot. Any book you read and any counselor is going to tell you to get them out of your house, they have to learn to support themselves. All will tell you to detach and let them love their lives. Mine may be homeless at this point, but that is his choice! [URL]http://www.support4change.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=131&Itemid=177[/URL] (((blessings for us all))) [/QUOTE]
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25 year old and 30 year old boys still at home.
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