3 year old jekyll & hyde

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Owens2Cute, Nov 16, 2008.

  1. Owens2Cute

    Owens2Cute Owens Mommy

    Owen is 3.5 years old and started preschool in September. He absolutely loves it. When he enrolled he was the poster child for politeness and friendly to everyone. :redface:

    Well now it November and something has changed. All of the sudden he's acting out, not responding to my husband or I, saying NO, acting aggressive, disrespectful and basically ignoring everything we ask him to do regardless of what it is. Seriously if we asked him to eat ice cream he'd say NO and start yelling. it's worse with me. no matter what we try we don't get anywhere.

    It's been an on again off again issue. This week we've gotten progressively worse and are considering removing him from preschool.

    the most recent meltdowns included him unbuckling himself from his booster seat while I was driving on the freeway and trying to open the door. Talk about a frazzling moment.:faint:

    Thursday, I came home from work to find that Owen had gotten into a jar of Vaseline and painted his bedroom furniture, walls & head with it. I was quite surprised. :surprise:. I actually had to remove all his toys & bedding since it was coated so now his room is down to the basics- bed with bedding and blankies and dressers.

    Then Friday he decided to wipe himself with a blankie after going #2.

    I try to talk to Owen like we always do all he says is I didn't share the telephone and Cayden pushed me. He did say it didn't hurt him or make him sad and nothing else happened. He seems to be in a bit of a destructive mood lately and we can't get him out of it. We've tried time-outs, taking away tv time, but the negative behavior continues. We're at our wits end and are seriously considering pulling him out of school since none of this happened before.

    In any case I'm going to prescool without him tomorrow to talk to his teachers to see what's going on. if you have any thoughts or suggestions PLEASE LET ME KNOW!
  2. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    Hi, and welcome.

    I would be extremely concerned if a child who had been polite and friendly suddenly became disruptive and disobedient. If the behavior change coincided with his enrollment in preschool I'd hold him out as of tomorrow and ask questions after. I'd also call around and talk to other parents to see what they're seeing just to see if any other kids are having trouble.

    There could be a lot of things going on here including the fact that your little guy just may not have been ready for preschool, or it was the wrong matchup for him, or even teachers that aren't treating kids well. Unfortunately it's usually hard to sort out at such a young age.

    Has he been seen by his pediatrician? I'd definitely get him a thorough checkup if not. Has he had any recent infections such as strept throat?

    Bummer about the vaseline. I had a kid rub a big jar into the carpet. That was a good time.:tongue:
  3. Owens2Cute

    Owens2Cute Owens Mommy

    he had a bad cold and was at the doctor about 2 weeks ago. apparently he's an angel in class and well behaved. SO he's only acting like that with mom and dad. I kept him home from school today and we seemed to have made progress from where we were over the weekend.he still isn't listening as well as he was before these outbursts. but he wants to go back to school. so maybe we'll try on wednesday and see what happens.
  4. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    Sometimes kids this age will have problems with a big transition like going to school. Do you see signs that other transitions are causing him trouble more than you'd expect from a typical 3 year old?

    Are there any developmental differences that you've noticed--ie are speech and fine motor skills on target?
    What's the mental health history of the family--any depression, bipolar, anxiety, etc?
    Do you see any signs that he's overly sensitive to sensory stimuli--loud noises or crowds, very particular about clothing (ie bothered by tags, seams), very picky about eating, etc?
  5. Mandy

    Mandy Parent In Training

    Since he is only acting out at home I would talk to his teacher and see how they dicipline at school. Maybe you could also use the same method so that he isn't confused by two different ways. Such as, if they do 1.2.3... timeout then you use the same method at home. Keep us posted and Good Luck!!!
  6. Owens2Cute

    Owens2Cute Owens Mommy

    He's very intelligent and advanced for a 3 year old. he loves people. he's very sociable and says hi to everyone he meets. he knows the 5 senses, shapes & colors, abc's, numbers 1-20, his address, birthday, how to spell his name, and telephone number...he also knows his grandparents address.we use 1-2-3 at home and until recently it worked fine. he loves school and interacts well. he hates tags and when his pants are on his belly button. As far as loud noises go he despises the vacuum, blender and unexpected noises.

  7. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    It's highly unusual for a child of this age to tune into the alphabet, numbers, words, and addresses. I'm going to suggest that you look into something called Hyperelxia, which is a condition when kids have an innate ability to decode language. It's often--but not always--associated with Autistic Spectrum Disorders. Before you automatically rule out that possiblity due to the fact that he's social, I would suggest keeping open to the possibility because at age 3 a child can be social but it's too young to determine whether they will automatically pick up on being socially appropriate later on. Most parents of Hyperlexic children begin by thinking they're simply brilliant and often times doctors miss it entirely. Children in this neighborhood neurologically will often have very extreme reactions to big changes such as a new school, move to a different school, or new baby in the house.

    You might find something that rings a bell about the tags and noises here:

    We're just parents here so obviously we can't diagnose, but hope to point you in the right direction to find the help you need to get your child on track. I would suggest if your concerns persist and enough rings a bell here that you schedule an appointment with your pediatrician to discuss a thorough evaluation.
  8. maril

    maril New Member

    There are some good suggestions given. I don't have anything to add but just wonder how has everything been since you last posted? I hope all is well.
  9. Owens2Cute

    Owens2Cute Owens Mommy

    Thanks everyone for thoughts!

    We're slooooowly making progress. we've sent him back to school and spoke to his teacher. she was clueless about his behavior and said nothing happened and he's very good in class. It seems that a child aka the bad cayden pushed him :mad:and that made him sad :angry-very:and he acted out in frustration.

    however now he's telling me to shut up or get out of his way which we have no clue where he got this from. another issue for another day...

    we're working on the sensitivity issues to touch (ie- tags) or sound (ie sudden or loud noise not made by him). I ordered some books so we'll see what I learn.

    and now he's spelling mom, dad and cat and recognizes certain words. the astonishing one was he pointed and said that says california which is where uncle greg and aunt mal live.

    so it's a step in the right direction. suggestions are always welcome and I'll try to update on a regular basis.
  10. Mandy

    Mandy Parent In Training

    :DSo glad to hear you are making some progress with him! I hope he continues to move forward!!